“You know, of all the things I thought we’d see in this movie, the deflowering of a camping stove is not one of them”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Wonderful Land of Oz.
Category: Fantasy
“Stop handing me swords. My weapon is devastating sarcasm.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Sword and the Sorcerer.
“Nerd Defender, this fall on CBS.”
Television Teaser pulled from RiffTrax: The Sorcerer’s Apprentice.
“Watching one pool through another pool—this world is very pool-based.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Magic Sword.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Piltdown Man” Sketch
Mike: Whoa, he went there.
Riff & React: Kevin & RiffTrax Live: Jack the Giant Killer
Movie: We have plans to make. The dawn comes much too soon.
“Okay, this sword fight is reaching ‘Hey Jude’ levels of over-staying its welcome.”
Beatles riff pulled from RiffTrax: Merlin: The Return.
“If only movies featured ironic comeuppances. I’d be worried for him.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Merlin’s Shop of Mystical Wonders.
“When you first open it, the hamster urine can be pretty powerful.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Jack The Giant Killer.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Guy From That Terrible Star Trek Movie” Sketch
Bill: Help! That guy from that terrible Star Trek movie is grabbing us.
“Remember our safe word is ‘spider daddy.'”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Ator, The Fighting Eagle.
“Rob and Nathalie had a better date at good Viet-mese restaurant.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Sorcerer’s Apprentice.
“Rowing and docking. This was directed by Norseman James Nguyen.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Berserker: Hell’s Warrior.
“Sir George Martin, we get it. You produced The Beatles. Do something this century.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Magic Sword.
“Not a dirty, old man like Mean Mr. Mustard.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Fairy King of Ar.
Riff & React: Bill & Dragon Wars: D-War
Movie: In appearance, the creature seems reptilian.
Riff & React: Mike & Ator, The Fighting Eagle
Movie: You will be mine until you have no strength left to gratify me.
Riff & React: Bill & Berserker: Hell’s Warrior
Movie: Quiet serf!
“Golden Corral’s New Slogan” Served By RiffTrax: A Talking Cat!?!
“You deserve toe-free appetizers, after the class action lawsuit–Golden Corral’s new slogan.”
“Hey Timmy, could you grab my balls like 100 percent less?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny.
Sketches & Speeches: “The Boys Sketch”
Mike: Maybe these are “The Boys?”
RiffTrax Tracks: “Can It Nerd”
“Can It Nerd” pulled from RiffTrax: The Little Unicorn.
“A text from General Akbar. It says: ‘It’s a tra’–I’ll finish it later. “
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Jack the Giant Killer.
Sketches & Speeches: “The Undramatic Digital Fantasy Effects Sketch”
Kevin: So, at what age do you stop being interested in really undramatic digital fantasy effects?
Sketches & Speeches: “The Peakviewing Transatlantic Sketch”
Bill: Peakviewing Transatlantic: sure we make films, but mostly we fly over oceans to look at mountains.
RiffTrax Track: “Beyond Jingle Bells”
RiffTrax Presents: Beyond Christmas
“Jack, you didn’t ‘Richard Gere’ the imp did you?”
RiffTrax: Jack the Giant Killer
“This dimension’s theme is GeoCity’s Magic the Gathering fan page.”
RiffTrax: Merlin the Return
“Oh god. My PhD in circus studies didn’t prepare me for this.”
RiffTrax: The Little Unicorn
Rifftrax Tracks: “Jack The Giant Killer: The Musical”
RiffTrax Live: Jack the Giant Killer
PixTrax: “Abe Vigoda is Akhenaten.”
RiffTrax Presents: She
PixTrax: “Though he’s probably disturbed by your giant old lady cans.”
RiffTrax: The Magic Sword
PixTrax: “I liked Rod Stewart best when he played for these guys.”
RiffTrax: Sword and the Sorcerer
“The loogie dangling that follows is shocking and graphic.”
RiffTrax: Hawk The Slayer
“This is probably a bad time to ask if I can borrow their plunger.”
RiffTrax: Fairy King of Ar
“Hurry Arthur, clear some slots in your inventory and loot their bodies for health potions.”
RiffTrax: Merlin the Return
“They’ve greenlit Alvin and the Chipmunks IV: Munks in Da’ Hood.”
RiffTrax: Hawk The Slayer
“Upside Down Shuffling on My Soccer Mattress: A Memoir.”
RiffTrax: The Sorcerer’s Apprentice
“Extreme wizarding, brah.”
RiffTrax: Merlin the Return
Keep Rolling! 
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