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…Because some Riffs have it coming!

Category: Fantasy

Written by RifftraxSeptember 22, 2022September 20, 2022

“You know, of all the things I thought we’d see in this movie, the deflowering of a camping stove is not one of them”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Wonderful Land of Oz.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 8, 2022August 10, 2022

“Stop handing me swords. My weapon is devastating sarcasm.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Sword and the Sorcerer.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 6, 2022August 10, 2022

“Nerd Defender, this fall on CBS.”

Television Teaser pulled from RiffTrax: The Sorcerer’s Apprentice.

Written by RifftraxAugust 12, 2022July 24, 2022

“Watching one pool through another pool—this world is very pool-based.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Magic Sword.

Written by RifftraxAugust 10, 2022July 24, 2022

Sketches & Speeches: The “Piltdown Man” Sketch

Mike: Whoa, he went there.

Written by RifftraxMarch 11, 2022February 21, 2022

Riff & React: Kevin & RiffTrax Live: Jack the Giant Killer

Movie: We have plans to make. The dawn comes much too soon.

Written by RifftraxNovember 28, 2021November 28, 2021

“Okay, this sword fight is reaching ‘Hey Jude’ levels of over-staying its welcome.”

Beatles riff pulled from RiffTrax: Merlin: The Return.

Written by RifftraxNovember 27, 2021November 26, 2021

“If only movies featured ironic comeuppances. I’d be worried for him.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Merlin’s Shop of Mystical Wonders.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 28, 2021September 28, 2021

“When you first open it, the hamster urine can be pretty powerful.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Jack The Giant Killer.

Written by RifftraxJune 30, 2021June 30, 2021

Sketches & Speeches: The “Guy From That Terrible Star Trek Movie” Sketch

Bill: Help! That guy from that terrible Star Trek movie is grabbing us.

Written by RifftraxFebruary 25, 2021February 24, 2021

“Remember our safe word is ‘spider daddy.'”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Ator, The Fighting Eagle.

Written by RifftraxNovember 12, 2020November 10, 2020

“Rob and Nathalie had a better date at good Viet-mese restaurant.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Sorcerer’s Apprentice.

Written by RifftraxNovember 5, 2020November 4, 2020

“Rowing and docking. This was directed by Norseman James Nguyen.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Berserker: Hell’s Warrior.

Written by RifftraxOctober 20, 2020October 1, 2020

“Sir George Martin, we get it. You produced The Beatles. Do something this century.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Magic Sword.

Written by RifftraxOctober 7, 2020October 1, 2020

“Not a dirty, old man like Mean Mr. Mustard.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Fairy King of Ar.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 24, 2020September 15, 2020

Riff & React: Bill & Dragon Wars: D-War

Movie: In appearance, the creature seems reptilian.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 18, 2020September 10, 2020

Riff & React: Mike & Ator, The Fighting Eagle

Movie: You will be mine until you have no strength left to gratify me.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 17, 2020September 10, 2020

Riff & React: Bill & Berserker: Hell’s Warrior

Movie: Quiet serf!

Written by RifftraxAugust 4, 2020August 4, 2020

“Golden Corral’s New Slogan” Served By RiffTrax: A Talking Cat!?!

“You deserve toe-free appetizers, after the class action lawsuit–Golden Corral’s new slogan.”

Written by RifftraxJuly 10, 2020July 1, 2020

“Hey Timmy, could you grab my balls like 100 percent less?”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny.

Written by RifftraxJune 12, 2020June 9, 2020

Sketches & Speeches: “The Boys Sketch”

Mike: Maybe these are “The Boys?”

Written by RifftraxMay 22, 2020November 27, 2020

RiffTrax Tracks: “Can It Nerd”

“Can It Nerd” pulled from RiffTrax: The Little Unicorn.

Written by RifftraxMay 17, 2020May 16, 2020

“A text from General Akbar. It says: ‘It’s a tra’–I’ll finish it later. “

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Jack the Giant Killer.

Written by RifftraxMay 12, 2020May 11, 2020

Sketches & Speeches: “The Undramatic Digital Fantasy Effects Sketch”

Kevin: So, at what age do you stop being interested in really undramatic digital fantasy effects?

Written by RifftraxMarch 29, 2020March 5, 2020

Sketches & Speeches: “The Peakviewing Transatlantic Sketch”

Bill: Peakviewing Transatlantic: sure we make films, but mostly we fly over oceans to look at mountains.

Written by RifftraxNovember 29, 2019November 11, 2019

RiffTrax Track: “Beyond Jingle Bells”

RiffTrax Presents: Beyond Christmas

Written by RifftraxNovember 7, 2019November 5, 2019

“Jack, you didn’t ‘Richard Gere’ the imp did you?”

RiffTrax: Jack the Giant Killer

Written by RifftraxOctober 10, 2019October 11, 2019

“This dimension’s theme is GeoCity’s Magic the Gathering fan page.”

RiffTrax: Merlin the Return

Written by RifftraxOctober 2, 2019August 15, 2019

“Oh god. My PhD in circus studies didn’t prepare me for this.”

RiffTrax: The Little Unicorn

Written by RifftraxSeptember 30, 2019August 21, 2019

Rifftrax Tracks: “Jack The Giant Killer: The Musical”

RiffTrax Live: Jack the Giant Killer

Written by RifftraxJuly 24, 2019July 10, 2019

PixTrax: “Abe Vigoda is Akhenaten.”

RiffTrax Presents: She

Written by RifftraxJuly 16, 2019July 10, 2019

PixTrax: “Though he’s probably disturbed by your giant old lady cans.”

RiffTrax: The Magic Sword

Written by RifftraxJuly 5, 2019July 10, 2019

PixTrax: “I liked Rod Stewart best when he played for these guys.”

RiffTrax: Sword and the Sorcerer

Written by RifftraxJune 27, 2019June 18, 2019

“The loogie dangling that follows is shocking and graphic.”

RiffTrax: Hawk The Slayer

Written by RifftraxJune 27, 2019June 18, 2019

“This is probably a bad time to ask if I can borrow their plunger.”

RiffTrax: Fairy King of Ar

Written by RifftraxJune 24, 2019June 18, 2019

“Hurry Arthur, clear some slots in your inventory and loot their bodies for health potions.”

RiffTrax: Merlin the Return

Written by RifftraxJune 3, 2019June 7, 2019

“They’ve greenlit Alvin and the Chipmunks IV: Munks in Da’ Hood.”

RiffTrax: Hawk The Slayer

Written by RifftraxMay 9, 2019June 7, 2019

“Upside Down Shuffling on My Soccer Mattress: A Memoir.”

RiffTrax: The Sorcerer’s Apprentice

Written by RifftraxApril 24, 2019June 7, 2019

“Extreme wizarding, brah.”

RiffTrax: Merlin the Return

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