Riff & React: Mike & Kiss of the Tarantula
Movie: How can two brothers be so different?
Riff & React: Kevin & Planet of Dinosaurs
Movie: Navigation, where are we?
Riff & React: Mike & The Return
Movie: I’m not used to lady scientists running through the streets of my little town.
Riff & React: Kevin & Hillbillys in a Haunted House
Movie: It’s so elegant.
Riff & React: Bill & Dragon Wars: D-War
Movie: In appearance, the creature seems reptilian.
Riff & React: Kevin & Martial Law 2
Movie: So, who’s the new girl?
Riff & React: Mike & Dinosaurus
Movie: I have found a caveman.
Riff & React: Kevin & Cyborg Cop 2
Movie: What about the constitution?
Riff & React: Bill & Laser Mission
Movie: And just south of here is the most miserable, burning, parched stretch of god forsaken desert in the world.
Riff & React: Kevin & Zombie: I Eat Your Skin
Movie: Please don’t touch it.
Riff & React: Mike & Ator, The Fighting Eagle
Movie: You will be mine until you have no strength left to gratify me.
Riff & React: Bill & Berserker: Hell’s Warrior
Movie: Quiet serf!
Riff & React: Kevin & Lovely But Deadly
Movie: And now it’s time for Captain Magic to show you how he got his name.
Riff & React: Bill & Missile to the Moon – Three Riffer Edition
Movie: A wedding that will follow an event in the extermination chamber.
Riff & React: Mike & Nightmare at Noon
Movie: I Love You.
Riff & React: Kevin & The Dark Power
Ms. Dalton: Mr. Girard, what are you doing here?
Riff & React: Mary Jo & Bride of the Gorilla
Movie: Don’t fight before dinner.
Riff & React: Mike & Yesterday’s Target
Movie: Is there a pharmacy around here?
Riff & React: Bill & Neutron the Atomic Superman vs. the Death Robots
Movie: These three brave, young men collaborated with him: Charles, James, and Mark.
Riff & React: Kevin & 1990: Bronx Warriors
Movie: Hey, one more step and you’re dead.
Riff & React: Mike & Prisoners of the Lost Universe
Movie: I thought you were about to suffer a fate worse than death.
Riff & React: Bill & The Dark
Movie: This channel sucks.
Riff & React: Matthew & Assignment: Outer Space
Movie: I have never felt so lonely.
Riff & React: Kevin & Tourist Trap
Movie: Feels like flesh.
Riff & React: Janet & Dreamscape
Movie: They’re getting progressively worse.
Riff & React: Bill & The Journey: Absolution
Movie: Why the hell are you here, boy!?! Why!?!
Riff & React: Mike & “MANOS” The Hands of Fate
Movie: No matter where we go, he is with us.
Riff & React: Kevin & Blood Theatre
Movie: What did we do to deserve to be sent to this pit?
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Ice Cream Man
Mike: Golden Corral’s new slogan—ah dang, I can’t quite make that work.
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Last Woman On Earth
Movie: In a couple of days the stench alone will choke us.
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By The Incredible 2-Headed Transplant
“‘I’m hungry, imbecile.’ Golden Corral’s new slogan.”
Sketches & Speeches: The “You Golden Corralled Us” Sketch
Movie: Very close to success.
“‘It was worth a try,’ Golden Corral’s old slogan? Nobody would believe that?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Oblivion 2: Backlash.
“A woman being thrown into a buffet table. If I want to see that I’ll just head to Golden Corral.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Lovely But Deadly.
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Son of Sinbad… Again!
Movie: If this doesn’t kill them, the smell will.
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Son of Sinbad
Movie: Stop feeding your ugly faces and listen to me.
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By The Return
Movie: Dog, bite whatever it is or shut up.
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Dark Future
“‘What is this place? Just shut up.’ Golden Corral’s new slogan.” Golden Corral’s new slogan pulled from RiffTrax: Dark Future.
“Golden Corral’s New Slogan” Served By Carnival of Souls.
Movie: It was unsanitary but delicious.
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Night of the Yellow Beast
Movie: Come now, it’s good meat. Probably better than anything you ever tasted. Eat, my boy.
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Fever Lake… Again!
Movie: I’m telling you it’s going to blow.
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Fever Lake
Movie: Cause what I’m about to do isn’t legal and I don’t want any witnesses.
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Contamination
“Golden Corral’s new slogan.”
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Rats Night of Terror
Movie: Hey, food!
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Subspecies IV: The Awakening
Movie: Have you tasted blood?
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Velvet Smooth
Movie: I never expect anything.
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Radical Jack
Movie: To be honest with you, the less you know the better.
“Golden Corral’s New Slogan” Served by Vengeance of the Dead
“Golden Corral’s new slogan.”
“Golden Corral’s New Slogan” Served by I Believe in Santa Claus
Movie: I can’t wait a few hours. I’m hungry.
“Golden Corral’s New Slogan” Served By Uninvited
“‘Here pussy, have some food.’ Golden Corral’s new slogan.”
“Golden Corral’s New Slogan” Served By Yor, The Hunter From the Future
Movie: Why did you come to this land of death?
“Golden Corral’s New Slogan” Served by R.O.T.O.R
Movie: Hey, you want to go the IHOP? Huh?
“Golden Corral’s New Slogan” Served By Giant From The Unknown
Movie: This is a bad place for you to be. Only evil can come through here.
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Starship Invasions
Movie: Please don’t die. It’s really good for you. Please eat it.
“Golden Corral’s New Slogan” Served By To Catch A Yeti
Movie: Please don’t die. It’s really good for you. Please eat it.
“Golden Corral’s New Slogan” Served By RiffTrax: A Talking Cat!?!
“You deserve toe-free appetizers, after the class action lawsuit–Golden Corral’s new slogan.”
“Golden Corral’s New Slogan” Served By RiffTrax: Suburban Sasquatch
Movie: I can’t tell what it is from here, but you’ll have its head on a platter by nightfall.
“Golden Corral’s New Slogan” Served By RiffTrax: Star Games
Movie: Don’t swallow. Don’t swallow. Just chew.
“Golden Corral’s New Slogan” Served By RiffTrax: The Room
Movie: Fed me.
Sketches & Speeches: “Not Golden Corral’s New Slogan Sketch”
Bill: Golden Corral, your favorite dinning establishment.
Sketches & Speeches: “The Army of Ziggys Sketch”
Bill: Man, I just realized he’s making an army of Ziggys.
“Which is my favorite kidnapping in this movie–don’t make me decide.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: I Believe in Santa Claus.
“Man, it’s tough to play the mandolin when your fingers are covered in hogs blood and bacon grease.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: X-mas Shorts-stravaganza!
PixTrax: “Welcome back to the secret lives of rural Liberace impersonators.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax Live: Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny.
“Hauled away, humiliated and wet, like every time I visit Applebee’s.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.
“Man, that is one messed up amphibian.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny.
“Behold my powers of drapery procurement.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Christmas Circus with Whizzo the Clown!
“I love you. Here’s a pressure cooker.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Christmas Customs Near and Far.
“Ned Wertimer, he is good in everything.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.
“Ah, garage chess, the best kind of chess.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Santa’s Summer House.
“Mark was tragically born with the body of a shop teacher.”
Riff pulled from Christmas with RiffTrax featuring The Magic Christmas Tree.
“Okay lady, play God all you want but leave the Ed Grimley dancing out of it.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.
“Okay look, play God all you want but leave the Ed Grimley dancing out of it.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Santa and the Fairy Snow Queen.
“Yep. Just an old man, with a sharp weapon, stamping baby butts on a conveyor belt. You know.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Festival of Fun Days.
“Oh gross. The ‘last burst’ is that pimple popping website.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: Beyond Christmas.
“Is there a human who can do that? I’m not comfortable with talking rumina.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Nestor the Long-Eared Christmas Donkey.
“Oh, when I get bored I mutilate phallic objects.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Christmas Shorts-stravaganza!
“Hey, tough guy. Yo, big shooter. Hey, steak escape. Ho ho, funky bunch.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Night Before Christmas.
“Okay, now try beckoning not like a wraith trying to lure us into a hell dimension.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: A Song For Santa.
“Yep, I’d love to help, but I’m spreading leptospirosis into this water right now.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Santa’s Village of Madness.
“Hey Timmy, could you grab my balls like 100 percent less?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny.
“The script is a Google voice transcript of someone yelling at their phone from the other end of the gymnasium.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Christmas Circus with Whizzo the Clown!
Sketches & Speeches: “The Polonia Brothers Erotica Sketch”
Kevin: Oh yes. Soap up there, mustache. That’s how Kevie likes it.
“Oh, when I get bored I mutilate phallic objects.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Christmas Shorts-stravaganza!
“The new Marmadukes are in. This will keep us laughing for months.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Jack Frost.
“Kids love it when furries have labor disputes.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Santa’s Village of Madness.
PixTrax: “Ladies and gentlemen, the White Stripes babies.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax Live: Santa Claus.
“Sure, text books. Add those to the list of things that belong in a little girl’s room right under full-size piano and tree candles.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: A Christmas Dream.
“Oh boy! I’ve always wanted a creepy bandleader who says ‘yowser. ‘”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Gifts From The Air.
“I don’t know. I don’t think, say Carl Reiner, has a lot of growing up to do.”
Carl Reiner March 20, 1922 – June 29, 2020
“Fake Roger Daltrey is just pissed because she stepped on his chance to do a ‘meet the new boss, same as the old boss’ thing.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Apple.
“Nikki Sixx once woke up with a needle still in his arm, but you know, respectfully doing household chores is pretty metal too.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Rock ‘n’ Roll Nightmare.
Riff & React: “Like it’s warm; the arms hold you tight; it’s dark.”
Movie: Like it’s warm; the arms hold you tight; it’s dark.
“Cyrus Clemmons, he use to play saxophone with Bryce Sprungsteen, Steamy Zan Fant, Jack Steinberg, and the rest of the Three Street Band.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Godmonster of Indian Flatts.
“Well, his hatred of doors is nothing compared to my hatred of The Doors.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Tourist Trap.
“They loved super annoying noise in the sixties. I mean, between this and The Doors.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Girl from Rio.
PixTrax: “Anthony Kiedis has seen better days.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: The Beast of the Yellow Night.
PixTrax: “Operator, I’m wearing a thing that makes me look like Anthony Kiedis.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax Presents: Last Woman on Earth.
PixTrax: “Anthony Kiedis, civil servant.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: Death Promise.
“The young tramp was before the tramp got powers and became Supertramp.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Sunset Strip.
