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…Because some Riffs have it coming!

Written by RifftraxOctober 24, 2020October 1, 2020

“Hey guys, guys. Hey, let’s do the Abbey Road thing, guys. Guys? Come on.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: No Retreat, No Surrender.

Written by RifftraxOctober 23, 2020October 1, 2020

Sketches & Speeches: The “Goo Goo G’joo” Sketch

Kevin: I am the ‘me.’

Written by RifftraxOctober 22, 2020October 22, 2020

Riff & React: “The other two have disappeared.”

Movie: The other two have disappeared.

Written by RifftraxOctober 21, 2020October 1, 2020

“Live a normal life? You’re a volleyball player, not one of The Beatles. C’mon!”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Spiker.

Written by RifftraxOctober 20, 2020October 1, 2020

“Sir George Martin, we get it. You produced The Beatles. Do something this century.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Magic Sword.

Written by RifftraxOctober 19, 2020October 1, 2020

Sketches & Speeches: The “Ringo’s a Chicken” Sketch

Bill: That’s my favorite Beatles movie. Yellow Submarine was too weird. What the hell is with Magical Mystery Tour?

Written by RifftraxOctober 18, 2020October 18, 2020

Riff & React: “So, I’m a stingy, old flattop?”

Movie: So, I’m a stingy, old flattop?

Written by RifftraxOctober 17, 2020October 1, 2020

“As you are he and we are all together. Goo goo g’joob.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: If Mirrors Could Speak.

Written by RifftraxOctober 16, 2020October 1, 2020

RiffTrax Tracks: “Back in the USSR (At Least It Wasn’t Delta)”

“Back in the USSR (At Least It Wasn’t Delta)” pulled from RiffTrax: Wonder Women.

Written by RifftraxOctober 15, 2020October 15, 2020

Riff & React: “Is it possible that the man who was talking to you outside the door, came into the living room through that window?”

Movie: Is it possible that the man who was talking to you outside the door, came into the living room through that window?

Written by RifftraxOctober 14, 2020October 16, 2020

PixTrax: “Sam is the Katzman. Yeah, he’s the Katzman.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Voodoo Man.

Written by RifftraxOctober 13, 2020October 1, 2020

“Omus’ robots. Writing the words of a sermon that no one will hear. Robots comes near.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Shape of Things To Come.

Written by RifftraxOctober 12, 2020October 1, 2020

“Why don’t you vaporize me in the road?”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Battlefield Earth.

Written by RifftraxOctober 11, 2020October 11, 2020

“I turned off my mind, relaxed, and floated down stream.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Self Conscious Guy.

Written by RifftraxOctober 10, 2020October 1, 2020

“Turn me on, dead man. Turn me on, dead man. Turn me on.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Killers From Space.

Written by RifftraxOctober 9, 2020October 1, 2020

“Oh, circuit number nine, you say. Number nine. Didn’t quite hear you, number nine. Let me just go ahead and set it to number nine. Oh, did you say eight? That’s right, you said number nine.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Astro Zombies.

Written by RifftraxOctober 8, 2020October 1, 2020

Riff & React: “Close your eyes.”

Movie: Close your eyes.

Written by RifftraxOctober 7, 2020October 1, 2020

“Not a dirty, old man like Mean Mr. Mustard.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Fairy King of Ar.

Written by RifftraxOctober 6, 2020October 1, 2020

PixTrax: “Oh no, hillbilly John Lennon is robbing a bank.”

PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: Light Blast.

Written by RifftraxOctober 5, 2020September 30, 2020

“I thought phony Beatlemania had bitten dust. Was everything The Clash taught me a lie?”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Apple.

Written by RifftraxOctober 4, 2020September 30, 2020

“That’s it. I’m going to set all my Beatles albums on fire. Dragon Sound and friendship for life!”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Miami Connection.

Written by RifftraxOctober 3, 2020October 1, 2020

PixTrax: “Sgt. Pepper’s Foxy Hearts Club Band.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Wonderful Land of Oz.

Written by RifftraxOctober 2, 2020October 1, 2020

PixTrax: “This is The Beatles lowest moment since ‘Wild Honey Pie.'”

PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: Terror at Tenkiller.

Written by RifftraxOctober 1, 2020October 1, 2020

“Ladies and gentlemen, The Beatles: John, Paul, George, and Summlaxadork.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Starship Troopers.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 30, 2020September 30, 2020

Riff & React: Mike & Missile to the Moon – Three Riffer Edition

Movie: It seems their troubles began about twenty years ago.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 29, 2020September 24, 2020

Riff & React: Bill & Retro Puppet Master

Movie: I’m sorry my friends. I’m sorry I failed you and I’m sorry that I need your help.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 28, 2020October 2, 2020

Riff & React: Mike & Kiss of the Tarantula

Movie: How can two brothers be so different?

Written by RifftraxSeptember 27, 2020September 24, 2020

Riff & React: Kevin & Planet of Dinosaurs

Movie: Navigation, where are we?

Written by RifftraxSeptember 26, 2020September 24, 2020

Riff & React: Mike & The Return

Movie: I’m not used to lady scientists running through the streets of my little town.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 25, 2020September 24, 2020

Riff & React: Kevin & Hillbillys in a Haunted House

Movie: It’s so elegant.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 24, 2020September 15, 2020

Riff & React: Bill & Dragon Wars: D-War

Movie: In appearance, the creature seems reptilian.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 23, 2020September 15, 2020

Riff & React: Kevin & Martial Law 2

Movie: So, who’s the new girl?

Written by RifftraxSeptember 22, 2020September 15, 2020

Riff & React: Mike & Dinosaurus

Movie: I have found a caveman.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 21, 2020September 15, 2020

Riff & React: Kevin & Cyborg Cop 2

Movie: What about the constitution?

Written by RifftraxSeptember 20, 2020September 15, 2020

Riff & React: Bill & Laser Mission

Movie: And just south of here is the most miserable, burning, parched stretch of god forsaken desert in the world.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 19, 2020September 15, 2020

Riff & React: Kevin & Zombie: I Eat Your Skin

Movie: Please don’t touch it.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 18, 2020September 10, 2020

Riff & React: Mike & Ator, The Fighting Eagle

Movie: You will be mine until you have no strength left to gratify me.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 17, 2020September 10, 2020

Riff & React: Bill & Berserker: Hell’s Warrior

Movie: Quiet serf!

Written by RifftraxSeptember 16, 2020September 10, 2020

Riff & React: Kevin & Lovely But Deadly

Movie: And now it’s time for Captain Magic to show you how he got his name.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 15, 2020September 10, 2020

Riff & React: Bill & Missile to the Moon – Three Riffer Edition

Movie: A wedding that will follow an event in the extermination chamber.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 14, 2020September 10, 2020

Riff & React: Mike & Nightmare at Noon

Movie: I Love You.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 13, 2020September 13, 2020

Riff & React: Kevin & The Dark Power

Ms. Dalton: Mr. Girard, what are you doing here?

Written by RifftraxSeptember 12, 2020September 8, 2020

Riff & React: Mary Jo & Bride of the Gorilla

Movie: Don’t fight before dinner.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 11, 2020September 11, 2020

Riff & React: Mike & Yesterday’s Target

Movie: Is there a pharmacy around here?

Written by RifftraxSeptember 10, 2020September 1, 2020

Riff & React: Bill & Neutron the Atomic Superman vs. the Death Robots

Movie: These three brave, young men collaborated with him: Charles, James, and Mark.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 9, 2020September 1, 2020

Riff & React: Kevin & 1990: Bronx Warriors

Movie: Hey, one more step and you’re dead.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 8, 2020September 10, 2020

Riff & React: Mike & Prisoners of the Lost Universe

Movie: I thought you were about to suffer a fate worse than death.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 7, 2020September 1, 2020

Riff & React: Bill & The Dark

Movie: This channel sucks.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 6, 2020September 1, 2020

Riff & React: Matthew & Assignment: Outer Space

Movie: I have never felt so lonely.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 5, 2020September 1, 2020

Riff & React: Kevin & Tourist Trap

Movie: Feels like flesh.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 4, 2020September 1, 2020

Riff & React: Janet & Dreamscape

Movie: They’re getting progressively worse.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 3, 2020September 1, 2020

Riff & React: Bill & The Journey: Absolution

Movie: Why the hell are you here, boy!?! Why!?!

Written by RifftraxSeptember 2, 2020September 1, 2020

Riff & React: Mike & “MANOS” The Hands of Fate

Movie: No matter where we go, he is with us.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 1, 2020September 1, 2020

Riff & React: Kevin & Blood Theatre

Movie: What did we do to deserve to be sent to this pit?

Written by RifftraxAugust 31, 2020August 5, 2020

Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Ice Cream Man

Mike: Golden Corral’s new slogan—ah dang, I can’t quite make that work.

Written by RifftraxAugust 30, 2020August 5, 2020

Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Last Woman On Earth

Movie: In a couple of days the stench alone will choke us.

Written by RifftraxAugust 29, 2020August 29, 2020

Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By The Incredible 2-Headed Transplant

“‘I’m hungry, imbecile.’ Golden Corral’s new slogan.”

Written by RifftraxAugust 28, 2020August 5, 2020

Sketches & Speeches: The “You Golden Corralled Us” Sketch

Movie: Very close to success.

Written by RifftraxAugust 27, 2020August 4, 2020

“‘It was worth a try,’ Golden Corral’s old slogan? Nobody would believe that?”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Oblivion 2: Backlash.

Written by RifftraxAugust 26, 2020August 4, 2020

“A woman being thrown into a buffet table. If I want to see that I’ll just head to Golden Corral.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Lovely But Deadly.

Written by RifftraxAugust 25, 2020August 4, 2020

Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Son of Sinbad… Again!

Movie: If this doesn’t kill them, the smell will.

Written by RifftraxAugust 24, 2020August 4, 2020

Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Son of Sinbad

Movie: Stop feeding your ugly faces and listen to me.

Written by RifftraxAugust 23, 2020August 4, 2020

Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By The Return

Movie: Dog, bite whatever it is or shut up.

Written by RifftraxAugust 22, 2020August 4, 2020

Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Dark Future

“‘What is this place? Just shut up.’ Golden Corral’s new slogan.” Golden Corral’s new slogan pulled from RiffTrax: Dark Future.

Written by RifftraxAugust 21, 2020August 4, 2020

“Golden Corral’s New Slogan” Served By Carnival of Souls.

Movie: It was unsanitary but delicious.

Written by RifftraxAugust 20, 2020August 4, 2020

Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Night of the Yellow Beast

Movie: Come now, it’s good meat. Probably better than anything you ever tasted. Eat, my boy.

Written by RifftraxAugust 19, 2020August 4, 2020

Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Fever Lake… Again!

Movie: I’m telling you it’s going to blow.

Written by RifftraxAugust 18, 2020August 4, 2020

Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Fever Lake

Movie: Cause what I’m about to do isn’t legal and I don’t want any witnesses.

Written by RifftraxAugust 17, 2020August 17, 2020

Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Contamination

“Golden Corral’s new slogan.”

Written by RifftraxAugust 16, 2020August 4, 2020

Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Rats Night of Terror

Movie: Hey, food!

Written by RifftraxAugust 15, 2020August 14, 2020

Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Subspecies IV: The Awakening

Movie: Have you tasted blood?

Written by RifftraxAugust 14, 2020August 4, 2020

Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Velvet Smooth

Movie: I never expect anything.

Written by RifftraxAugust 13, 2020August 4, 2020

Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Radical Jack

Movie: To be honest with you, the less you know the better.

Written by RifftraxAugust 12, 2020August 12, 2020

“Golden Corral’s New Slogan” Served by Vengeance of the Dead

“Golden Corral’s new slogan.”

Written by RifftraxAugust 11, 2020August 4, 2020

“Golden Corral’s New Slogan” Served by I Believe in Santa Claus

Movie: I can’t wait a few hours. I’m hungry.

Written by RifftraxAugust 10, 2020August 10, 2020

“Golden Corral’s New Slogan” Served By Uninvited

“‘Here pussy, have some food.’ Golden Corral’s new slogan.”

Written by RifftraxAugust 9, 2020August 4, 2020

“Golden Corral’s New Slogan” Served By Yor, The Hunter From the Future

Movie: Why did you come to this land of death?

Written by RifftraxAugust 8, 2020August 4, 2020

“Golden Corral’s New Slogan” Served by R.O.T.O.R

Movie: Hey, you want to go the IHOP? Huh?

Written by RifftraxAugust 7, 2020August 4, 2020

“Golden Corral’s New Slogan” Served By Giant From The Unknown

Movie: This is a bad place for you to be. Only evil can come through here.

Written by RifftraxAugust 6, 2020August 4, 2020

Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Starship Invasions

Movie: Please don’t die. It’s really good for you. Please eat it.

Written by RifftraxAugust 5, 2020August 4, 2020

“Golden Corral’s New Slogan” Served By To Catch A Yeti

Movie: Please don’t die. It’s really good for you. Please eat it.

Written by RifftraxAugust 4, 2020August 4, 2020

“Golden Corral’s New Slogan” Served By RiffTrax: A Talking Cat!?!

“You deserve toe-free appetizers, after the class action lawsuit–Golden Corral’s new slogan.”

Written by RifftraxAugust 3, 2020August 4, 2020

“Golden Corral’s New Slogan” Served By RiffTrax: Suburban Sasquatch

Movie: I can’t tell what it is from here, but you’ll have its head on a platter by nightfall.

Written by RifftraxAugust 2, 2020August 4, 2020

“Golden Corral’s New Slogan” Served By RiffTrax: Star Games

Movie: Don’t swallow. Don’t swallow. Just chew.

Written by RifftraxAugust 1, 2020August 4, 2020

“Golden Corral’s New Slogan” Served By RiffTrax: The Room

Movie: Fed me.

Written by RifftraxJuly 31, 2020July 28, 2020

Sketches & Speeches: “Not Golden Corral’s New Slogan Sketch”

Bill: Golden Corral, your favorite dinning establishment.

Written by RifftraxJuly 30, 2020July 23, 2020

Sketches & Speeches: “The Army of Ziggys Sketch”

Bill: Man, I just realized he’s making an army of Ziggys.

Written by RifftraxJuly 29, 2020July 28, 2020

“Which is my favorite kidnapping in this movie–don’t make me decide.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: I Believe in Santa Claus.

Written by RifftraxJuly 28, 2020July 26, 2020

“Man, it’s tough to play the mandolin when your fingers are covered in hogs blood and bacon grease.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: X-mas Shorts-stravaganza!

Written by RifftraxJuly 27, 2020July 22, 2020

PixTrax: “Welcome back to the secret lives of rural Liberace impersonators.”

PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax Live: Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny.

Written by RifftraxJuly 26, 2020July 26, 2020

“Hauled away, humiliated and wet, like every time I visit Applebee’s.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.

Written by RifftraxJuly 25, 2020July 23, 2020

“Man, that is one messed up amphibian.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny.

Written by RifftraxJuly 24, 2020July 21, 2020

“Behold my powers of drapery procurement.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Christmas Circus with Whizzo the Clown!

Written by RifftraxJuly 23, 2020July 21, 2020

“I love you. Here’s a pressure cooker.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Christmas Customs Near and Far.

Written by RifftraxJuly 22, 2020July 19, 2020

“Ned Wertimer, he is good in everything.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.

Written by RifftraxJuly 21, 2020July 19, 2020

“Ah, garage chess, the best kind of chess.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Santa’s Summer House.

Written by RifftraxJuly 20, 2020July 19, 2020

“Mark was tragically born with the body of a shop teacher.”

Riff pulled from Christmas with RiffTrax featuring The Magic Christmas Tree.

Written by RifftraxJuly 19, 2020July 17, 2020

“Okay lady, play God all you want but leave the Ed Grimley dancing out of it.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.

Written by RifftraxJuly 18, 2020July 11, 2020

“Okay look, play God all you want but leave the Ed Grimley dancing out of it.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Santa and the Fairy Snow Queen.

Written by RifftraxJuly 17, 2020July 11, 2020

“Yep. Just an old man, with a sharp weapon, stamping baby butts on a conveyor belt. You know.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Festival of Fun Days.

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