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Keep Rolling!

…Because some Riffs have it coming!

Author: Rifftrax

Written by RifftraxDecember 6, 2022December 6, 2022

TBD

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: With An All-star Cast.

Written by RifftraxDecember 5, 2022December 2, 2022

“Why is Graham Parker showing us a nude photo of Stockard Channing?”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Winterbeast.

Written by RifftraxDecember 4, 2022December 2, 2022

“Find your own bovine teat to suckle.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Wing, Claw and Fang!

Written by RifftraxDecember 3, 2022December 2, 2022

PixTrax: “The Mod Squad Babies.”

PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Willy Whistle.

Written by RifftraxDecember 2, 2022December 1, 2022

“Grandpa’s just savoring that sweet moment before enjoying a brand new Marmaduke.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: William’s Doll.

Written by RifftraxDecember 1, 2022December 1, 2022

“If you listen closely, you can almost smell New Jersey.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: William From Georgia to Harlem.

Written by RifftraxNovember 30, 2022December 1, 2022

Riff & React: Kevin & Why Vandalism?

Movie: What about the church?

Written by RifftraxNovember 29, 2022December 1, 2022

“Please, I need an answer or the Diary Council is going to take my thumbs.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Why Doesn’t Cathy Eat Breakfast?/Petaluma Chicken.

Written by RifftraxNovember 28, 2022December 1, 2022

TBD

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Why Study Science.

Written by RifftraxNovember 27, 2022December 1, 2022

TBD

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: When You Grow Up.

Written by RifftraxNovember 26, 2022December 1, 2022

“And a young, sand-hating Anakin Skywalker starts down a path that will inevitably lead him down the dark side of the playground.”

Star Wars Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: When Should Grown-ups Stop Fights?

Written by RifftraxNovember 25, 2022November 29, 2022

“Now we’re going to see the horror movie trope where the cat jumps out, scares Charles Durning, and he eats it.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: When a Stranger Calls Back.

Written by RifftraxNovember 24, 2022November 29, 2022

Sketches & Speeches: The “Poems About Nature” Sketch

Bill: Too bad there are no good poems about nature.

Written by RifftraxNovember 23, 2022November 29, 2022

Riff & React: Bridget & What Will Bernard Do

Movie: Eight times.

Written by RifftraxNovember 22, 2022November 29, 2022

“But first let’s stop at the Stationers for some security envelopes.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: What Mary Jo Wanted.

Written by RifftraxNovember 21, 2022November 29, 2022

TBD

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: What Mary Jo Shared.

Written by RifftraxNovember 20, 2022November 29, 2022

TBD

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: What Makes Things Float?

Written by RifftraxNovember 19, 2022November 29, 2022

“No, I can’t pay you in doobage.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: What It Means to Be An American (Part 2).

Written by RifftraxNovember 18, 2022November 29, 2022

“Alert, plainclothes Cub Scouts wrestle the squirt gun away from the would-be assailant.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: What it Means to be an American (Part 1).

Written by RifftraxNovember 17, 2022November 29, 2022

“I hope the nothingness consumes us after Sesame Street.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: What is Nothing?

Written by RifftraxNovember 16, 2022November 29, 2022

“Also, Radio with Cuba Gooding Jr. is pretty skippable.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: What is a Map?

Written by RifftraxNovember 15, 2022November 29, 2022

“We have a lot of red stuff if you’re into that. You like red stuff?”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: What If We Had a Fire?

Written by RifftraxNovember 14, 2022November 29, 2022

TBD

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?

Written by RifftraxNovember 13, 2022November 29, 2022

TBD

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: What Are Letters For?

Written by RifftraxNovember 12, 2022November 29, 2022

Riff & React: Kevin & What About Juvenile Delinquency?

Movie: We’ll see him in the morning at school when we give this to him.

Written by RifftraxNovember 11, 2022November 29, 2022

“Speaking of a nuclear dump, the coffee’s kicking in. I’ll be right back.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Wes Craven’s Mind Ripper.

Written by RifftraxNovember 10, 2022November 29, 2022

“‘Perhaps a philanderer but not an assassin’ is entirely the wrong thing to have on your Tinder profile.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: Werewolf in a Girls’ Dormitory (Matthew J. Elliott and Ian Potter).

Written by RifftraxNovember 9, 2022November 29, 2022

“Norman seems like the kind of guy who would wish Selena Gomez a happy birthday on Twitter.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Welcome Back, Norman.

Written by RifftraxNovember 8, 2022November 29, 2022

“Jim, you are not a licensed narrator.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: We Discover the Dictionary.

Written by RifftraxNovember 7, 2022November 29, 2022

“And the butterfly says, ‘That’s not a proboscis.’ Thank you. Thank you.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Watch Out For My Plant.

Written by RifftraxNovember 6, 2022November 29, 2022

TBD

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Warty, The Toad.

Written by RifftraxNovember 5, 2022November 29, 2022

“Scorpion and Little kid will return in Scorpion and the Little Kid Go Hawaiian.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Warriors of the Wasteland.

Written by RifftraxNovember 4, 2022November 12, 2022

TBD

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: Warning from Space (Matthew J. Elliott and Ian Potter).

Written by RifftraxNovember 3, 2022November 12, 2022

TBD

Riff pulled from RiffRiffTrax Shorts: Wanted: The Perfect Guy.

Written by RifftraxNovember 2, 2022November 12, 2022

“Yes, all around the world people travel by stereotype.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Walking to School.

Written by RifftraxNovember 1, 2022November 12, 2022

“Can we codify ‘Don’t Bogart that blunt’ into law?”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Voting at 18.

Written by RifftraxOctober 31, 2022November 12, 2022

“Let’s see, damp basement, bearded guys in capes, two strong indicators that the people around you care deeply whether Han shot first.”

Star Wars Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Voodoo Man.

Written by RifftraxOctober 30, 2022November 12, 2022

“Kids love watching daredevils quietly sneak into mental hospitals to rescue bitter alcoholics.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Viva Knievel!

Written by RifftraxOctober 29, 2022October 28, 2022

“Just gathering some after dinner roundworms and blood flukes.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Vision in the Forest.

Written by RifftraxOctober 28, 2022November 12, 2022

“Hi, I’m John Wayne for existential despair.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Victory Squad.

Written by RifftraxOctober 27, 2022October 26, 2022

Riff & React: Kevin & Mike & Vengeance of the Dead

Movie: I figure I’ll bring back a pizza for supper.

Written by RifftraxOctober 26, 2022October 26, 2022

“That President Nixon is a real cool cat.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Velvet Smooth.

Written by RifftraxOctober 25, 2022October 26, 2022

“It’s practically begging us to lick it.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Values: Understanding Ourselves.

Written by RifftraxOctober 24, 2022October 26, 2022

“His diverse business and charity interests require top-notch fiduciary oversight from qualified peers.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Values: The Right Thing to Do.

Written by RifftraxOctober 23, 2022October 26, 2022

“Her hairstyle is an off-label use of bumpits.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: Vacation Days.

Written by RifftraxOctober 22, 2022October 19, 2022

“Sure, I can record a bitching guitar solo for you. Using it for a chase scene or an extreme sports montage? Oh, chicken movie, huh?”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Unto the Least of These.

Written by RifftraxOctober 21, 2022October 19, 2022

“Speaking of mistakes, I went hard on the seven-layer dip. I’m going to go wreck the billionaires’ men’s room.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Universal Soldier III: Unfinished Business.

Written by RifftraxOctober 20, 2022October 19, 2022

Riff & React: Kevin & Universal Soldier II: Brother In Arms

Movie: Police today are still on the lookout for Veronica Roberts

Written by RifftraxOctober 19, 2022October 18, 2022

“I’m Clu Gulager. I’d like you to meet my brothers Monopoly Gulager and Scrabble Gulager.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Uninvited.

Written by RifftraxOctober 18, 2022October 18, 2022

“What happens to a dream deferred? Does it get soggy like a cracker in the rain?”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Understanding Your Ideals.

Written by RifftraxOctober 17, 2022October 18, 2022

“Resist the temptation to stick your wiener in the Addressograph.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: U.S. Elections: How We Vote.

Written by RifftraxOctober 16, 2022October 18, 2022

“Though Bill does stand alone on his main issue, people should be allowed to marry cows.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Tuesday in November.

Written by RifftraxOctober 15, 2022October 18, 2022

“Man can you wreck a can. Whoa. The waft just hit me.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Trucker’s Woman.

Written by RifftraxOctober 14, 2022October 13, 2022

“He’s truckin’ but not like do-dah man. Arrest him!”

Rock ‘n’ Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Truck Song.

Written by RifftraxOctober 13, 2022October 13, 2022

“And if I do this, I’ll magically like NASCAR?”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Troll 2.

Written by RifftraxOctober 12, 2022October 13, 2022

“And what does it mean for the hammock lifestyle?”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Treasure of the Amazon.

Written by RifftraxOctober 11, 2022October 10, 2022

“They look hungry. Maybe we should show them a cartoon?”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Toyland.

Written by RifftraxOctober 10, 2022October 7, 2022

“Okay, then. To prove a point, I’m going to release 10,000 Africanized killer bees into the room.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Toward Emotional Maturity.

Written by RifftraxOctober 9, 2022October 8, 2022

“And now, Halloween’s Michael Meyers as Katie Holmes in a one woman tribute to Abraham Lincoln.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Tourist Trap.

Written by RifftraxOctober 8, 2022October 7, 2022

Rif & React: Bill & Total Riff Off Episode 6: Brazilian Bigfoot

Movie: At last, I can see all around me, rather than just staring into dense bush.

Written by RifftraxOctober 7, 2022October 5, 2022

“He’s been weird ever since those chimps tossed him.”

Riff pulled from Total Riff Off Episode 5: Animals Behaving Badly

Written by RifftraxOctober 6, 2022October 6, 2022

Riff & React: Kevin & Total Riff Off Episode 4: Man V. Monster

Movie: I could soon be face-to-face with a monster.

Written by RifftraxOctober 5, 2022October 4, 2022

“Gator trapping is mostly about the laughs.”

Riff pulled from Total Riff Off Episode 3: Guy and a Goose.

Written by RifftraxOctober 4, 2022October 3, 2022

“So, now it’s multiple bats? I’m starting to doubt this guy’s degree in hogwash-ology.”

Riff pulled from Total Riff Off Episode 2: Demon Bat.

Written by RifftraxOctober 3, 2022October 3, 2022

“In short, the Shrimp-pocalypse is nigh. Weak humans bow before your new crustacean masters.”

Riff pulled from Total Riff Off Episode 1: Killer Shrimp N’ Friends

Written by RifftraxOctober 2, 2022October 2, 2022

“Weaker areas of knowledge include shoe purchasing and pants maintenance”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Tooth Truth with Harv and Marv.

Written by RifftraxOctober 1, 2022September 29, 2022

“Such haphazard bunny placement.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Tommy’s Day.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 30, 2022September 29, 2022

“You know, if she didn’t do all this crap maybe she wouldn’t have grandma toes.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Toes Tell/Whose Shoes?

Written by RifftraxSeptember 29, 2022September 28, 2022

“This is God. Meat Loaf was my greatest mistake. Sorry.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: To Catch a Yeti.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 28, 2022September 27, 2022

“So, two years ago I got kicked in the head by a Clydesdale. Now, I make clocks out of children.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Tic Toc Time Clock.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 27, 2022September 27, 2022

“They are running out of rhymes, they’ll have to go with Peter Tork.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Three Magic Words.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 26, 2022September 27, 2022

“Okay, one more time in the shape of your butt—ah, my butt—a butt! Never mind.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts With Bridget & Mary Jo: This is Roller Skating.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 25, 2022September 24, 2022

“Careful, handling oblong tins can lead to picnic boning.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: This is Hormel.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 24, 2022September 24, 2022

“The number one and number two reasons for missed baseball games: Tommy John surgery and bracket repair.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Things Are Different Now.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 23, 2022September 24, 2022

Crocodile Dundee Riff From RiffTrax: Things

Kevin: I’d bring Crocodile Dundee in to comment on the knife situation, but I can’t subject him to this.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 22, 2022September 20, 2022

“You know, of all the things I thought we’d see in this movie, the deflowering of a camping stove is not one of them”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Wonderful Land of Oz.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 21, 2022September 20, 2022

“You know what they say, you’re never truly broke if you have rage.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Wizard.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 19, 2022September 20, 2022

“No one’s home. Time for some trademark Glen Ford skinny dipping. Just got to sunscreen-up the Glen Ford junk.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Visitor.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 18, 2022September 20, 2022

“Next episode, please!”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: The Veil – Part 2.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 17, 2022September 20, 2022

“Anyone old enough to remember when Michael York was considered a movie star? No?”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: The Veil – Part 1.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 16, 2022September 20, 2022

“So what’s weirder, a talking dog or dog that wants to watch a kid rehearse theater?”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Value of Teamwork.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 15, 2022September 15, 2022

“These shoulder pads are a full time job.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: The Troublemaker.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 14, 2022September 15, 2022

“Now there are tampons in the cigarette machine.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Trouble With Women.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 13, 2022September 15, 2022

Riff & React: Mike & The Toy Maker

Movie: I want to tell you a story about two puppets I made.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 12, 2022September 6, 2022

“You know I have a bad feeling about this. White mice are the ‘red shirts’ of the animal kingdom.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Tiny Astronaut.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 11, 2022August 31, 2022

“But then I remembered Chuck is a heroin addict. Our supply was probably where it always was in the bag labeled heroin right in the cabinet labeled heroin.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Terrible Truth.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 10, 2022August 10, 2022

Sketches & Speeches: The “Talking Cat!?!” Sketch

Kevin: The talking cat!?!

Written by RifftraxSeptember 9, 2022August 10, 2022

“Lesson number one for winter survival, do not watch the Star Wars Holiday Special.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Tale of Moose Baby.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 8, 2022August 10, 2022

“Stop handing me swords. My weapon is devastating sarcasm.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Sword and the Sorcerer.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 7, 2022August 31, 2022

“For once, I’m glad I didn’t go to refrigeration school.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: The Spring Collection.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 6, 2022August 10, 2022

“Nerd Defender, this fall on CBS.”

Television Teaser pulled from RiffTrax: The Sorcerer’s Apprentice.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 5, 2022August 10, 2022

“These two are about as covert as a pride parade.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Sons of Hercules: Land of Darkness.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 4, 2022August 10, 2022

“Eat a fish, pull your beard, laugh about it—all classic snowman stuff!”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Snowman.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 3, 2022August 10, 2022

“You know, as soon as this town gets Sara on track they can tackle the booming meth problem.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: The Snob.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 2, 2022August 10, 2022

“I like my ‘five-tini’ up, with an olive, no elf.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Shoemaker and the Elves.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 1, 2022August 10, 2022

Sketches & Speeches: The “Who’s Your Favorite Character So Far” Sketch

Bill: So, who’s your favorite character so far?

Written by RifftraxAugust 31, 2022August 1, 2022

“You guys want any more monkey nads? If not I’m going to scrape the grill.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Revenge of Doctor X.

Written by RifftraxAugust 31, 2022August 10, 2022

“We demand freedom for ham slices now.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Second Annual Bridget and Mary Jo Christmas Special.

Written by RifftraxAugust 30, 2022August 1, 2022

Riff & React: Mike & The Return

Movie: I’m not used to lady scientists running through the streets of my little town.

Written by RifftraxAugust 29, 2022August 1, 2022

“I should warn you, my pants have a touch of Lycra for an easy feel.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Retrievers.

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