TBD
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: With An All-star Cast.
Author: Rifftrax
“Why is Graham Parker showing us a nude photo of Stockard Channing?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Winterbeast.
“Find your own bovine teat to suckle.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Wing, Claw and Fang!
PixTrax: “The Mod Squad Babies.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Willy Whistle.
“Grandpa’s just savoring that sweet moment before enjoying a brand new Marmaduke.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: William’s Doll.
“If you listen closely, you can almost smell New Jersey.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: William From Georgia to Harlem.
Riff & React: Kevin & Why Vandalism?
Movie: What about the church?
“Please, I need an answer or the Diary Council is going to take my thumbs.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Why Doesn’t Cathy Eat Breakfast?/Petaluma Chicken.
TBD
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Why Study Science.
TBD
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: When You Grow Up.
“And a young, sand-hating Anakin Skywalker starts down a path that will inevitably lead him down the dark side of the playground.”
Star Wars Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: When Should Grown-ups Stop Fights?
“Now we’re going to see the horror movie trope where the cat jumps out, scares Charles Durning, and he eats it.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: When a Stranger Calls Back.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Poems About Nature” Sketch
Bill: Too bad there are no good poems about nature.
Riff & React: Bridget & What Will Bernard Do
Movie: Eight times.
“But first let’s stop at the Stationers for some security envelopes.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: What Mary Jo Wanted.
TBD
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: What Mary Jo Shared.
TBD
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: What Makes Things Float?
“No, I can’t pay you in doobage.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: What It Means to Be An American (Part 2).
“Alert, plainclothes Cub Scouts wrestle the squirt gun away from the would-be assailant.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: What it Means to be an American (Part 1).
“I hope the nothingness consumes us after Sesame Street.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: What is Nothing?
“Also, Radio with Cuba Gooding Jr. is pretty skippable.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: What is a Map?
“We have a lot of red stuff if you’re into that. You like red stuff?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: What If We Had a Fire?
TBD
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?
TBD
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: What Are Letters For?
Riff & React: Kevin & What About Juvenile Delinquency?
Movie: We’ll see him in the morning at school when we give this to him.
“Speaking of a nuclear dump, the coffee’s kicking in. I’ll be right back.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Wes Craven’s Mind Ripper.
“‘Perhaps a philanderer but not an assassin’ is entirely the wrong thing to have on your Tinder profile.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: Werewolf in a Girls’ Dormitory (Matthew J. Elliott and Ian Potter).
“Norman seems like the kind of guy who would wish Selena Gomez a happy birthday on Twitter.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Welcome Back, Norman.
“Jim, you are not a licensed narrator.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: We Discover the Dictionary.
“And the butterfly says, ‘That’s not a proboscis.’ Thank you. Thank you.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Watch Out For My Plant.
TBD
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Warty, The Toad.
“Scorpion and Little kid will return in Scorpion and the Little Kid Go Hawaiian.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Warriors of the Wasteland.
TBD
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: Warning from Space (Matthew J. Elliott and Ian Potter).
TBD
Riff pulled from RiffRiffTrax Shorts: Wanted: The Perfect Guy.
“Yes, all around the world people travel by stereotype.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Walking to School.
“Can we codify ‘Don’t Bogart that blunt’ into law?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Voting at 18.
“Let’s see, damp basement, bearded guys in capes, two strong indicators that the people around you care deeply whether Han shot first.”
Star Wars Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Voodoo Man.
“Kids love watching daredevils quietly sneak into mental hospitals to rescue bitter alcoholics.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Viva Knievel!
“Just gathering some after dinner roundworms and blood flukes.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Vision in the Forest.
“Hi, I’m John Wayne for existential despair.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Victory Squad.
Riff & React: Kevin & Mike & Vengeance of the Dead
Movie: I figure I’ll bring back a pizza for supper.
“That President Nixon is a real cool cat.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Velvet Smooth.
“It’s practically begging us to lick it.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Values: Understanding Ourselves.
“His diverse business and charity interests require top-notch fiduciary oversight from qualified peers.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Values: The Right Thing to Do.
“Her hairstyle is an off-label use of bumpits.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: Vacation Days.
“Sure, I can record a bitching guitar solo for you. Using it for a chase scene or an extreme sports montage? Oh, chicken movie, huh?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Unto the Least of These.
“Speaking of mistakes, I went hard on the seven-layer dip. I’m going to go wreck the billionaires’ men’s room.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Universal Soldier III: Unfinished Business.
Riff & React: Kevin & Universal Soldier II: Brother In Arms
Movie: Police today are still on the lookout for Veronica Roberts
“I’m Clu Gulager. I’d like you to meet my brothers Monopoly Gulager and Scrabble Gulager.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Uninvited.
“What happens to a dream deferred? Does it get soggy like a cracker in the rain?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Understanding Your Ideals.
“Resist the temptation to stick your wiener in the Addressograph.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: U.S. Elections: How We Vote.
“Though Bill does stand alone on his main issue, people should be allowed to marry cows.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Tuesday in November.
“Man can you wreck a can. Whoa. The waft just hit me.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Trucker’s Woman.
“He’s truckin’ but not like do-dah man. Arrest him!”
Rock ‘n’ Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Truck Song.
“And if I do this, I’ll magically like NASCAR?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Troll 2.
“And what does it mean for the hammock lifestyle?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Treasure of the Amazon.
“They look hungry. Maybe we should show them a cartoon?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Toyland.
“Okay, then. To prove a point, I’m going to release 10,000 Africanized killer bees into the room.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Toward Emotional Maturity.
“And now, Halloween’s Michael Meyers as Katie Holmes in a one woman tribute to Abraham Lincoln.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Tourist Trap.
Rif & React: Bill & Total Riff Off Episode 6: Brazilian Bigfoot
Movie: At last, I can see all around me, rather than just staring into dense bush.
“He’s been weird ever since those chimps tossed him.”
Riff pulled from Total Riff Off Episode 5: Animals Behaving Badly
Riff & React: Kevin & Total Riff Off Episode 4: Man V. Monster
Movie: I could soon be face-to-face with a monster.
“Gator trapping is mostly about the laughs.”
Riff pulled from Total Riff Off Episode 3: Guy and a Goose.
“So, now it’s multiple bats? I’m starting to doubt this guy’s degree in hogwash-ology.”
Riff pulled from Total Riff Off Episode 2: Demon Bat.
“In short, the Shrimp-pocalypse is nigh. Weak humans bow before your new crustacean masters.”
Riff pulled from Total Riff Off Episode 1: Killer Shrimp N’ Friends
“Weaker areas of knowledge include shoe purchasing and pants maintenance”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Tooth Truth with Harv and Marv.
“Such haphazard bunny placement.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Tommy’s Day.
“You know, if she didn’t do all this crap maybe she wouldn’t have grandma toes.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Toes Tell/Whose Shoes?
“This is God. Meat Loaf was my greatest mistake. Sorry.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: To Catch a Yeti.
“So, two years ago I got kicked in the head by a Clydesdale. Now, I make clocks out of children.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Tic Toc Time Clock.
“They are running out of rhymes, they’ll have to go with Peter Tork.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Three Magic Words.
“Okay, one more time in the shape of your butt—ah, my butt—a butt! Never mind.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts With Bridget & Mary Jo: This is Roller Skating.
“Careful, handling oblong tins can lead to picnic boning.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: This is Hormel.
“The number one and number two reasons for missed baseball games: Tommy John surgery and bracket repair.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Things Are Different Now.
Crocodile Dundee Riff From RiffTrax: Things
Kevin: I’d bring Crocodile Dundee in to comment on the knife situation, but I can’t subject him to this.
“You know, of all the things I thought we’d see in this movie, the deflowering of a camping stove is not one of them”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Wonderful Land of Oz.
“You know what they say, you’re never truly broke if you have rage.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Wizard.
“No one’s home. Time for some trademark Glen Ford skinny dipping. Just got to sunscreen-up the Glen Ford junk.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Visitor.
“Next episode, please!”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: The Veil – Part 2.
“Anyone old enough to remember when Michael York was considered a movie star? No?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: The Veil – Part 1.
“So what’s weirder, a talking dog or dog that wants to watch a kid rehearse theater?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Value of Teamwork.
“These shoulder pads are a full time job.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: The Troublemaker.
“Now there are tampons in the cigarette machine.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Trouble With Women.
Riff & React: Mike & The Toy Maker
Movie: I want to tell you a story about two puppets I made.
“You know I have a bad feeling about this. White mice are the ‘red shirts’ of the animal kingdom.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Tiny Astronaut.
“But then I remembered Chuck is a heroin addict. Our supply was probably where it always was in the bag labeled heroin right in the cabinet labeled heroin.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Terrible Truth.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Talking Cat!?!” Sketch
Kevin: The talking cat!?!
“Lesson number one for winter survival, do not watch the Star Wars Holiday Special.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Tale of Moose Baby.
“Stop handing me swords. My weapon is devastating sarcasm.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Sword and the Sorcerer.
“For once, I’m glad I didn’t go to refrigeration school.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: The Spring Collection.
“Nerd Defender, this fall on CBS.”
Television Teaser pulled from RiffTrax: The Sorcerer’s Apprentice.
“These two are about as covert as a pride parade.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Sons of Hercules: Land of Darkness.
“Eat a fish, pull your beard, laugh about it—all classic snowman stuff!”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Snowman.
“You know, as soon as this town gets Sara on track they can tackle the booming meth problem.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: The Snob.
“I like my ‘five-tini’ up, with an olive, no elf.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Shoemaker and the Elves.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Who’s Your Favorite Character So Far” Sketch
Bill: So, who’s your favorite character so far?
“You guys want any more monkey nads? If not I’m going to scrape the grill.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Revenge of Doctor X.
“We demand freedom for ham slices now.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Second Annual Bridget and Mary Jo Christmas Special.
Riff & React: Mike & The Return
Movie: I’m not used to lady scientists running through the streets of my little town.
“I should warn you, my pants have a touch of Lycra for an easy feel.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Retrievers.
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