“‘Perhaps a philanderer but not an assassin’ is entirely the wrong thing to have on your Tinder profile.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: Werewolf in a Girls’ Dormitory (Matthew J. Elliott and Ian Potter).
Category: Matthew J. Elliott
Sketches & Speeches: The “Longest Snowmobiling Sequence Since Records Began” Sketch
Ian: This must be the longest snowmobiling sequence since records began.
Riff & React: Ian & Matthew & Scared to Death
Movie: Someone has been giving her orders via mental telepathy.
“Tolkien slash fiction. ‘Fifty Shades of Gandalf the Grey.'”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: Horror Express (by Matthew J. Elliott).
“Good night fat astronaut. May flights of aliens sing thee to thy rest”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: HANGAR 18 (with Matthew J. Elliott and Ian Potter).
“Now, when they promised me a model sequence I was hoping for something with Kate Upton and a skipping rope.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: Flight to Mars (Matthew J. Elliott, Ian Potter)
“Sorry about the mess in here guys. I kinda live out of my dirigible.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: Planet Outlaws (with Matthew J. Elliott and Ian Potter).
“They all come running for the great taste of Bert.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: King of Kong Island.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Tiny Stool” Sketch
Ian: He was sitting on a ridiculously tiny stool.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Hunch Might Be At The Cleaners” Sketch
Ian: I think his hunch might be at the cleaners.
Riff & React: Matthew & Assignment: Outer Space
Movie: I have never felt so lonely.
PixTrax: “Operator, I’m wearing a thing that makes me look like Anthony Kiedis.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax Presents: Last Woman on Earth.
“Lumbering numbskulls. Unthinking. Unquestioning in their obedience. Yep, Morrissey fans every one.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: Horror Express.
Sketches & Speeches: “The Beige Sketch”
Ian: I’ve never seen a more beige film than this?
“Door Closers International. Wherever there’s a door open we are there.”
RiffTrax Presents: Atom Age Vampire
“Gotta love a train service run by the Catholic church. They always pull out on time.”
RiffTrax Presents: Horror Express
PixTrax: “The death mask of Bill Corbett.”
RiffTrax Presents: Scared to Death
PixTrax: “Repairs to Snoop Dog’s bong continue.”
RiffTrax Presents: Warning From Space
“Erich Von Daniken’s Cocktail Shakers of the Gods.”
RiffTrax Presents: Warning From Space
“She just realized the Dalai Lama started putting hashtag YOLO at the end of his tweets.”
RiffTrax Presents: Scared to Death
“Damn! I can’t think of a single book with the name ‘Potter’ in the title.”
RiffTrax Presents: Purple Death from Outer Space (with Matthew J. Elliott and Ian Potter)
Keep Rolling! 
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