“What it would look like if NASA had hired James Nguyen to fake the moon landing instead of Kubrick.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Battle for the Lost Planet.
Category: Riffers
Riff & React: “Ten million dollars.”
Movie: Ten million dollars.
“Yo, slowly pull in and park this baby Birdemic-style. Word to your mother.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Cool as Ice.
Riff & React: “There’s just nothing wrong with shooting a few damn birds.”
Movie: There’s just nothing wrong with shooting a few damn birds.
“Rest of the movie is her picking up Rod from Birdemic and comparing their Mustangs’ mpg.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Astro Zombies.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Rod From Birdemic” Sketch
Kevin: This feels like Rod Sterling should step out and do a monologue.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Young James Nguyen” Sketch
Bill: Okay, it’s not a coat hanger but it’s very close.
PixTrax: “Don’t let James Nguyen put footage of this in a terrible movie.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: Psycho II.
“I’ve always wondered what Platoon would have been like if James Nguyen had directed it.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Deadly Prey.
“Rob and Nathalie had a better date at good Viet-mese restaurant.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Sorcerer’s Apprentice.
PixTrax: “James Nguyen’s Hell’s Angels brother.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: Sunset Strip.
Sketches & Speeches: The “James Nguyen Trucker Picture” Sketch
Mike: This scene of an 18-wheeler slowly starting and pulling away guest directed by James Nguyen.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Diving Scenes’ First Cousin” Sketch
Kevin: And here comes driving scenes’ first cousin, carefully signaling and turning into a parking lot scene.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Directed By Mr. James Nguyen” Sketch
Mike: Parking scene guest directed by Mr. James Nguyen.
“‘Emergency vehicles parking,’ James Nguyen’s idea of a great disaster movie.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Hijacked Flight 285.
Sketches & Speeches: The “James Nguyen’s Taxi Driver” Sketch
Mike: James Nguyen’s Taxi Driver.
“Rowing and docking. This was directed by Norseman James Nguyen.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Berserker: Hell’s Warrior.
“James Nguyen waves his coat hanger as a sign of respect.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Rats Night of Terror.
“Silent nod of respect from James Nguyen for these driving and parking scenes.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Killers in Space.
“Finally, a movie that does for aimless scuba diving what Birdemic did for gradual driving and parking.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Bermuda Triangle.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Our First Birdemic” Sketch
Kevin: Ot-oh, she’s going to pull a Becky on the beach.
Sketches & Speeches: “The Imagine Sketch”
Bill: Is the soundtrack trying to become John Lennon’s “Imagine” or am I just a dreamer?
Riff & React: “Don’t you get it, you’re a dreamer.”
Movie: Don’t you get it, you’re a dreamer.
Riff & React: “Anybody you chose.”
Movie: Anybody you chose.
“This is like if the first Wings album started with two minutes of ‘Hey Jude.'”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Psycho II.
“Everyone is losing their minds just like when The Beatles played Mrs. Peterson’s third period study hall.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Lovely But Deadly.
Sketches & Speeches: The “If Dogs Wrote The Beatles Songs” Sketch
Bill: He’s laughing cause he remembers that great hashtag pun on Twitter last night.
Riff & React: “So Mark, how do you feel about putting some board breaking into the act?”
Movie: So Mark, how do you feel about putting some board breaking into the act?
“Hey guys, guys. Hey, let’s do the Abbey Road thing, guys. Guys? Come on.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: No Retreat, No Surrender.
Riff & React: “The other two have disappeared.”
Movie: The other two have disappeared.
“Live a normal life? You’re a volleyball player, not one of The Beatles. C’mon!”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Spiker.
“Sir George Martin, we get it. You produced The Beatles. Do something this century.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Magic Sword.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Ringo’s a Chicken” Sketch
Bill: That’s my favorite Beatles movie. Yellow Submarine was too weird. What the hell is with Magical Mystery Tour?
Riff & React: “So, I’m a stingy, old flattop?”
Movie: So, I’m a stingy, old flattop?
“As you are he and we are all together. Goo goo g’joob.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: If Mirrors Could Speak.
RiffTrax Tracks: “Back in the USSR (At Least It Wasn’t Delta)”
“Back in the USSR (At Least It Wasn’t Delta)” pulled from RiffTrax: Wonder Women.
Riff & React: “Is it possible that the man who was talking to you outside the door, came into the living room through that window?”
Movie: Is it possible that the man who was talking to you outside the door, came into the living room through that window?
PixTrax: “Sam is the Katzman. Yeah, he’s the Katzman.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Voodoo Man.
“Omus’ robots. Writing the words of a sermon that no one will hear. Robots comes near.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Shape of Things To Come.
“Why don’t you vaporize me in the road?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Battlefield Earth.
“I turned off my mind, relaxed, and floated down stream.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Self Conscious Guy.
“Turn me on, dead man. Turn me on, dead man. Turn me on.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Killers From Space.
Riff & React: “Close your eyes.”
Movie: Close your eyes.
“Not a dirty, old man like Mean Mr. Mustard.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Fairy King of Ar.
PixTrax: “Oh no, hillbilly John Lennon is robbing a bank.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: Light Blast.
“I thought phony Beatlemania had bitten dust. Was everything The Clash taught me a lie?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Apple.
“That’s it. I’m going to set all my Beatles albums on fire. Dragon Sound and friendship for life!”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Miami Connection.
PixTrax: “Sgt. Pepper’s Foxy Hearts Club Band.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Wonderful Land of Oz.
PixTrax: “This is The Beatles lowest moment since ‘Wild Honey Pie.'”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: Terror at Tenkiller.
“Ladies and gentlemen, The Beatles: John, Paul, George, and Summlaxadork.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Starship Troopers.
Riff & React: Mike & Missile to the Moon – Three Riffer Edition
Movie: It seems their troubles began about twenty years ago.
Riff & React: Bill & Retro Puppet Master
Movie: I’m sorry my friends. I’m sorry I failed you and I’m sorry that I need your help.
Riff & React: Mike & Kiss of the Tarantula
Movie: How can two brothers be so different?
Riff & React: Kevin & Planet of Dinosaurs
Movie: Navigation, where are we?
Riff & React: Mike & The Return
Movie: I’m not used to lady scientists running through the streets of my little town.
Riff & React: Kevin & Hillbillys in a Haunted House
Movie: It’s so elegant.
Riff & React: Bill & Dragon Wars: D-War
Movie: In appearance, the creature seems reptilian.
Riff & React: Kevin & Martial Law 2
Movie: So, who’s the new girl?
Riff & React: Mike & Dinosaurus
Movie: I have found a caveman.
Riff & React: Kevin & Cyborg Cop 2
Movie: What about the constitution?
Riff & React: Bill & Laser Mission
Movie: And just south of here is the most miserable, burning, parched stretch of god forsaken desert in the world.
Riff & React: Kevin & Zombie: I Eat Your Skin
Movie: Please don’t touch it.
Riff & React: Mike & Ator, The Fighting Eagle
Movie: You will be mine until you have no strength left to gratify me.
Riff & React: Bill & Berserker: Hell’s Warrior
Movie: Quiet serf!
Riff & React: Kevin & Lovely But Deadly
Movie: And now it’s time for Captain Magic to show you how he got his name.
Riff & React: Bill & Missile to the Moon – Three Riffer Edition
Movie: A wedding that will follow an event in the extermination chamber.
Riff & React: Mike & Nightmare at Noon
Movie: I Love You.
Riff & React: Kevin & The Dark Power
Ms. Dalton: Mr. Girard, what are you doing here?
Riff & React: Mary Jo & Bride of the Gorilla
Movie: Don’t fight before dinner.
Riff & React: Mike & Yesterday’s Target
Movie: Is there a pharmacy around here?
Riff & React: Bill & Neutron the Atomic Superman vs. the Death Robots
Movie: These three brave, young men collaborated with him: Charles, James, and Mark.
Riff & React: Kevin & 1990: Bronx Warriors
Movie: Hey, one more step and you’re dead.
Riff & React: Mike & Prisoners of the Lost Universe
Movie: I thought you were about to suffer a fate worse than death.
Riff & React: Bill & The Dark
Movie: This channel sucks.
Riff & React: Matthew & Assignment: Outer Space
Movie: I have never felt so lonely.
Riff & React: Kevin & Tourist Trap
Movie: Feels like flesh.
Riff & React: Janet & Dreamscape
Movie: They’re getting progressively worse.
Riff & React: Bill & The Journey: Absolution
Movie: Why the hell are you here, boy!?! Why!?!
Riff & React: Mike & “MANOS” The Hands of Fate
Movie: No matter where we go, he is with us.
Riff & React: Kevin & Blood Theatre
Movie: What did we do to deserve to be sent to this pit?
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Ice Cream Man
Mike: Golden Corral’s new slogan—ah dang, I can’t quite make that work.
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Last Woman On Earth
Movie: In a couple of days the stench alone will choke us.
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By The Incredible 2-Headed Transplant
“‘I’m hungry, imbecile.’ Golden Corral’s new slogan.”
Sketches & Speeches: The “You Golden Corralled Us” Sketch
Movie: Very close to success.
“‘It was worth a try,’ Golden Corral’s old slogan? Nobody would believe that?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Oblivion 2: Backlash.
“A woman being thrown into a buffet table. If I want to see that I’ll just head to Golden Corral.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Lovely But Deadly.
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Son of Sinbad… Again!
Movie: If this doesn’t kill them, the smell will.
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Son of Sinbad
Movie: Stop feeding your ugly faces and listen to me.
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By The Return
Movie: Dog, bite whatever it is or shut up.
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Dark Future
“‘What is this place? Just shut up.’ Golden Corral’s new slogan.” Golden Corral’s new slogan pulled from RiffTrax: Dark Future.
“Golden Corral’s New Slogan” Served By Carnival of Souls.
Movie: It was unsanitary but delicious.
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Night of the Yellow Beast
Movie: Come now, it’s good meat. Probably better than anything you ever tasted. Eat, my boy.
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Fever Lake… Again!
Movie: I’m telling you it’s going to blow.
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Fever Lake
Movie: Cause what I’m about to do isn’t legal and I don’t want any witnesses.
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Contamination
“Golden Corral’s new slogan.”
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Rats Night of Terror
Movie: Hey, food!
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Subspecies IV: The Awakening
Movie: Have you tasted blood?
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Velvet Smooth
Movie: I never expect anything.
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Radical Jack
Movie: To be honest with you, the less you know the better.
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