“Omus’ robots. Writing the words of a sermon that no one will hear. Robots comes near.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Shape of Things To Come.
Category: RiffTrax Movies
“Why don’t you vaporize me in the road?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Battlefield Earth.
“Turn me on, dead man. Turn me on, dead man. Turn me on.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Killers From Space.
Riff & React: “Close your eyes.”
Movie: Close your eyes.
“Not a dirty, old man like Mean Mr. Mustard.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Fairy King of Ar.
PixTrax: “Oh no, hillbilly John Lennon is robbing a bank.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: Light Blast.
“I thought phony Beatlemania had bitten dust. Was everything The Clash taught me a lie?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Apple.
“That’s it. I’m going to set all my Beatles albums on fire. Dragon Sound and friendship for life!”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Miami Connection.
PixTrax: “Sgt. Pepper’s Foxy Hearts Club Band.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Wonderful Land of Oz.
PixTrax: “This is The Beatles lowest moment since ‘Wild Honey Pie.'”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: Terror at Tenkiller.
Riff & React: Mike & Missile to the Moon – Three Riffer Edition
Movie: It seems their troubles began about twenty years ago.
Riff & React: Bill & Retro Puppet Master
Movie: I’m sorry my friends. I’m sorry I failed you and I’m sorry that I need your help.
Riff & React: Mike & Kiss of the Tarantula
Movie: How can two brothers be so different?
Riff & React: Kevin & Planet of Dinosaurs
Movie: Navigation, where are we?
Riff & React: Mike & The Return
Movie: I’m not used to lady scientists running through the streets of my little town.
Riff & React: Kevin & Hillbillys in a Haunted House
Movie: It’s so elegant.
Riff & React: Bill & Dragon Wars: D-War
Movie: In appearance, the creature seems reptilian.
Riff & React: Kevin & Martial Law 2
Movie: So, who’s the new girl?
Riff & React: Mike & Dinosaurus
Movie: I have found a caveman.
Riff & React: Mike & Ator, The Fighting Eagle
Movie: You will be mine until you have no strength left to gratify me.
Riff & React: Bill & Berserker: Hell’s Warrior
Movie: Quiet serf!
Riff & React: Kevin & Lovely But Deadly
Movie: And now it’s time for Captain Magic to show you how he got his name.
Riff & React: Bill & Missile to the Moon – Three Riffer Edition
Movie: A wedding that will follow an event in the extermination chamber.
Riff & React: Mike & Nightmare at Noon
Movie: I Love You.
Riff & React: Kevin & The Dark Power
Ms. Dalton: Mr. Girard, what are you doing here?
Riff & React: Mike & Yesterday’s Target
Movie: Is there a pharmacy around here?
Riff & React: Bill & Neutron the Atomic Superman vs. the Death Robots
Movie: These three brave, young men collaborated with him: Charles, James, and Mark.
Riff & React: Kevin & 1990: Bronx Warriors
Movie: Hey, one more step and you’re dead.
Riff & React: Mike & Prisoners of the Lost Universe
Movie: I thought you were about to suffer a fate worse than death.
Riff & React: Kevin & Tourist Trap
Movie: Feels like flesh.
Riff & React: Bill & The Journey: Absolution
Movie: Why the hell are you here, boy!?! Why!?!
Riff & React: Mike & “MANOS” The Hands of Fate
Movie: No matter where we go, he is with us.
Riff & React: Kevin & Blood Theatre
Movie: What did we do to deserve to be sent to this pit?
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Ice Cream Man
Mike: Golden Corral’s new slogan—ah dang, I can’t quite make that work.
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By The Incredible 2-Headed Transplant
“‘I’m hungry, imbecile.’ Golden Corral’s new slogan.”
Sketches & Speeches: The “You Golden Corralled Us” Sketch
Movie: Very close to success.
“‘It was worth a try,’ Golden Corral’s old slogan? Nobody would believe that?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Oblivion 2: Backlash.
“A woman being thrown into a buffet table. If I want to see that I’ll just head to Golden Corral.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Lovely But Deadly.
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Son of Sinbad… Again!
Movie: If this doesn’t kill them, the smell will.
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Son of Sinbad
Movie: Stop feeding your ugly faces and listen to me.
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Night of the Yellow Beast
Movie: Come now, it’s good meat. Probably better than anything you ever tasted. Eat, my boy.
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Fever Lake… Again!
Movie: I’m telling you it’s going to blow.
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Fever Lake
Movie: Cause what I’m about to do isn’t legal and I don’t want any witnesses.
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Contamination
“Golden Corral’s new slogan.”
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Rats Night of Terror
Movie: Hey, food!
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Subspecies IV: The Awakening
Movie: Have you tasted blood?
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Velvet Smooth
Movie: I never expect anything.
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Radical Jack
Movie: To be honest with you, the less you know the better.
“Golden Corral’s New Slogan” Served by Vengeance of the Dead
“Golden Corral’s new slogan.”
“Golden Corral’s New Slogan” Served by I Believe in Santa Claus
Movie: I can’t wait a few hours. I’m hungry.
“Golden Corral’s New Slogan” Served By Uninvited
“‘Here pussy, have some food.’ Golden Corral’s new slogan.”
“Golden Corral’s New Slogan” Served By Yor, The Hunter From the Future
Movie: Why did you come to this land of death?
“Golden Corral’s New Slogan” Served by R.O.T.O.R
Movie: Hey, you want to go the IHOP? Huh?
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Starship Invasions
Movie: Please don’t die. It’s really good for you. Please eat it.
“Golden Corral’s New Slogan” Served By To Catch A Yeti
Movie: Please don’t die. It’s really good for you. Please eat it.
“Golden Corral’s New Slogan” Served By RiffTrax: A Talking Cat!?!
“You deserve toe-free appetizers, after the class action lawsuit–Golden Corral’s new slogan.”
“Golden Corral’s New Slogan” Served By RiffTrax: Suburban Sasquatch
Movie: I can’t tell what it is from here, but you’ll have its head on a platter by nightfall.
“Golden Corral’s New Slogan” Served By RiffTrax: Star Games
Movie: Don’t swallow. Don’t swallow. Just chew.
“Golden Corral’s New Slogan” Served By RiffTrax: The Room
Movie: Fed me.
“Which is my favorite kidnapping in this movie–don’t make me decide.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: I Believe in Santa Claus.
“Man, that is one messed up amphibian.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny.
“Behold my powers of drapery procurement.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Christmas Circus with Whizzo the Clown!
“Ned Wertimer, he is good in everything.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.
“Ah, garage chess, the best kind of chess.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Santa’s Summer House.
“Mark was tragically born with the body of a shop teacher.”
Riff pulled from Christmas with RiffTrax featuring The Magic Christmas Tree.
“Yep, I’d love to help, but I’m spreading leptospirosis into this water right now.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Santa’s Village of Madness.
“Hey Timmy, could you grab my balls like 100 percent less?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny.
“The script is a Google voice transcript of someone yelling at their phone from the other end of the gymnasium.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Christmas Circus with Whizzo the Clown!
Sketches & Speeches: “The Polonia Brothers Erotica Sketch”
Kevin: Oh yes. Soap up there, mustache. That’s how Kevie likes it.
“The new Marmadukes are in. This will keep us laughing for months.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Jack Frost.
“Kids love it when furries have labor disputes.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Santa’s Village of Madness.
“I don’t know. I don’t think, say Carl Reiner, has a lot of growing up to do.”
Carl Reiner March 20, 1922 – June 29, 2020
“Fake Roger Daltrey is just pissed because she stepped on his chance to do a ‘meet the new boss, same as the old boss’ thing.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Apple.
“Nikki Sixx once woke up with a needle still in his arm, but you know, respectfully doing household chores is pretty metal too.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Rock ‘n’ Roll Nightmare.
Riff & React: “Like it’s warm; the arms hold you tight; it’s dark.”
Movie: Like it’s warm; the arms hold you tight; it’s dark.
“Cyrus Clemmons, he use to play saxophone with Bryce Sprungsteen, Steamy Zan Fant, Jack Steinberg, and the rest of the Three Street Band.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Godmonster of Indian Flatts.
“Well, his hatred of doors is nothing compared to my hatred of The Doors.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Tourist Trap.
“They loved super annoying noise in the sixties. I mean, between this and The Doors.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Girl from Rio.
PixTrax: “Anthony Kiedis has seen better days.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: The Beast of the Yellow Night.
PixTrax: “Anthony Kiedis, civil servant.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: Death Promise.
“The young tramp was before the tramp got powers and became Supertramp.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Sunset Strip.
PixTrax: “The Journey and Boston album covers are at war.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: Star Games.
“‘Uncharted Journeys to the Sun,’ is this a mellow crooner cover of a Rush song?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Ruby.
PixTrax: “If you stare into it long enough you join Emerson, Lake and Palmer.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: The Return.
“Oh great! Now, a prog rock concert is gonna to start. Run kid, run.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Bermuda Triangle.
Sketches & Speeches: “The Emerson, Lake and Palmer Song Is Trying to Start Sketch”
Mike: An Emerson, Lake and Palmer song is trying to start!
“Based on the noise, I’d say we’re hiding in Keith Emerson’s closet.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Rock ‘N’ Roll Nightmare.
“I thought phony Beatlemania had bitten the dust. Was everything The Clash taught me a lie?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Apple.
“Glen Danzig will watch you bathe outdoors. Just try our new service. Get 15 percent off your first order with discount code ‘Glen Danzig will watch you bathe outdoors.'”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Berserker: Hell’s Warrior.
Sketches & Speeches: “The Boys Sketch”
Mike: Maybe these are “The Boys?”
“I don’t know. This underwater stage production of The Wall just isn’t hitting home for me.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Bermuda Triangle.
“Big missed opportunity not queuing up something off of Atom Heart Mother for this fight.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Ninja Warlord.
PixTrax: “Someday, Pink Floyd will record a song about this.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: Maniac.
“Patty Smyth is pissed. She’s going to shoot at them like they’re the walls of heartache.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Bounty Tracker.
“‘Rumours on the Street,’ Fleetwood Mac’s unfortunate attempt at a hip hop album.”
Riff Pulled from RiffTrax: Velvet Smooth.
“We’ll go our own way per Fleetwood Mac’s advice.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Girl from Rio.
“Okay, Fleetwood Mac rules. Everyone grab a new partner and switch beds.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Rock ‘n’ Roll Nightmare.
Sketches & Speeches: “The Dresden 1945 Sketch”
Mike: Mmm, I guess we’re in Dresden 1945?
Sketches & Speeches: “The Are You Ready To Rock Sketch”
Kevin: Are you ready to rock?
Keep Rolling! 
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