“Kids love watching daredevils quietly sneak into mental hospitals to rescue bitter alcoholics.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Viva Knievel!
Tag: kid
“So what’s weirder, a talking dog or dog that wants to watch a kid rehearse theater?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Value of Teamwork.
“You make me wish your sister and I never had kids.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Galaxy Invader.
“Damn kids; always interrupting my plant-sex.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Creeps Machine.
“Some kids think soccer is a sport, but police know it’s a threat to society.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Teenagers on Trial.
“Oh, I know this place. When I was a kid we called this ‘Swamp of the Ravens’ which was obviously stupid because these birds are buzzards. Ha. Ha. Stupid kids who luckily don’t title movies.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Swamp of the Ravens.
“A living clown erection. Hi kids.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Story-telling: Can You Tell It In Order?
“Look at that, poor kid’s addicted to sandwich fumes.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Paper and I.
“Enjoy the Dragon Sound concert tonight, kids.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: No Retreat, No Surrender.
“Best anal glands in the business, kids.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Mother Goose’s Birthday Party with Ronald McDonald.
“You’re less popular than the kid who called teacher ‘mommy.’”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Manners in School.
“You’re dead kid. I’m this land’s Usain Bolt.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Jack and the Beanstalk.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Emperor Palpatine In Drag” Sketch
Kevin: Think the kid knows his mom is Emperor Palpatine in drag?
Sketches & Speeches: The “That Is Not A Cylinder” Sketch
Kevin: Kid, it’s the narrator. I’m locked out. That is not a cylinder. Kid, let me in.
“Oh great! Now, a prog rock concert is gonna to start. Run kid, run.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Bermuda Triangle.
“They did it. They invented a kid more annoying then Jake Lloyd. I didn’t think it was possible.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Firehead.
“Poor kid, has to do homework instead of watching his gross neighbors bone like most kids.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Room.
“Hey kid, this is Christmas. Try to look a little less like a Dorothea Lange photo can you?”
RiffTrax Shorts: Christmas Customs Near and Far
Keep Rolling! 
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