“I used to play synthesizer for the group ‘New Balance Factor.'”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Down and Out.
Category: A to Z
Sketches & Speeches: The “Power Corp” Sketch
Movie: In other news, a plane containing medical supplies exploded last night and authorities believe it’s the work of the Power Corp.
“It was time to go to YouTube comments and tell classical violinists they’re ugly.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Don’t Get Angry.
“Oh, ‘When They Go Bush’ that’s the title of Lou Diamond Phillips’ book about his wife leaving him for Melissa Ethridge.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Don’t Be a Bloody Idiot.
“I shouldn’t do it, but how many people can ever say they had sex with a dinosaur?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Dinosaurus.
Riff & React: Mike & Dinosaurs: The Age of the Terrible Lizard
Movie: They were reptiles and they were hatched from eggs.
“Okay fruit, prepare to be looked at by a real pro.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Dining Together.
“London isn’t international. It’s just in a different country.”
The first riff from RiffTrax Presents: Devil Girl From Mars.
PixTrax: “A young Rachel Maddow looks perplexed.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: Decisions Decisions.
“And now the ancient tradition of giving a present to Tommy Lasorda.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: December Holidays.
“Live Chinese and krill comedy! Come see the very best in Chairman Mao impressions and crawfish anecdotes.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Death Promise.
“‘Action International,’ parent company to ‘Romantic Comedy Regional.'”
The first riff from RiffTrax: Deadly Prey.
“He managed to be lascivious about rubble.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: Deadly Instincts.
“Sad people soullessly stamping out product. This is how I picture Marvel films.”
Riff pulled from Day of the Shorts: SF Sketchfest 2019.
“Ah, the California Angels. Such an uncomplicated, natural sounding team name. I hope it never changes.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Day of the Animals.
“Almonds! Who do you think we are, King Nebuchadnezzar II of Babylon?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: David and Hazel: A Story in Communication.
“My hand! I needed that to feel up 7 of 9.”
Star Trek Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Dark Future.
“If I was homeless, I’d definitely urinate here!”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Shorts: Danger Keep Out!
“And can my resemblance to Mark Trail help in anyway?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Damaged Goods.
PixTrax: “They’ve found a Metroid save point.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: Cyborg Cop 2.
“An Australian guy with a knife. Man, I just wish I could think of a reference here, guys. Coming up blank.”
This Crocodile Dundee reference pulled from RiffTrax: Cyber Tracker.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Doesn’t This Director Know How To Make A Horror Movie?” Speech
“Come on, this is ridiculous. Doesn’t this director know how to make a horror movie?
“Those green egg trees are missing something. I can’t quite put my finger on it.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Courtesy: A Good Eggsample.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Hard Bop” Sketch
Bill: Kids really enjoy their hard bop, don’t they?
RiffTrax Tracks: County Fair Super Mix
RiffTrax Track pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: County Fair.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Suzanne Pleshette” Speech
“Hi, folks. I’m Corkren Theopolis Crow. You may remember me from Alfred Hitchcock’s classic thriller, The Birds. I got to pluck Suzanne Pleshette’s eyes out. You know, working with Ms. Pleshette was a delight. She was a real pro and her eyeballs were delicious. And now here’s our story.” The “Suzanne Pleshette” Speech pulled from […]
PixTrax: “Joseph Goebbels loves his recumbent bike.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Cork – Crashes and Curiosities.
“I am a William Katt doppelganger, sir, and I deserve respect.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Cops: Who Needs Them?
“Someone in the audience has to go to the bathroom but they’re worried he might light up the stage and wax a chump like a candle while they’re in there.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Cool As Ice.
“Got a tartare of ear shell clams on two, make the Chateaubriand walk, and give the panna cotta wings!”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Cooks and Chefs.
“Tim is easily surprised by batter textures. It’s an endearing quirk of his.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Cooking Terms.
“Hey, please don’t insult the puss-filled eggs by comparing them to Coors Light.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Contamination.
“Huh? Constance Bennett presents her daily beauty rituals. I wonder what this one’s about?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Constance Bennett’s Daily Beauty Rituals.
“Ah, urinals and comic sans. Together at last.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Color It Clean.
“You know, when you think about it, there’s almost a certain logic to it that people associate coffee houses with coffee.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Coffeehouse Rendezvous.
“Aneurysms tickle.”
RiffTrax Shorts: Clean and Neat with Harv and Marv.
“That was one wild night—drank a bottle of Old Grand-dad, smoked a packed of cigarettes, and studied plankton till dawn.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The City of the Dead.
“A codependent fairy godmother.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: Cindy Goes To A Party.
“Whoa! A face like a squid’s anus.”
Riff pulled from Christmas with RiffTrax: Santa’s Village of Madness.
“The doughnuts give me the husky energy I need.”
Riff pulled from Christmas with RiffTrax featuring Magic Christmas Tree.
“Is dad a retired stooge or something?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Christmas Toyshop.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Not He-Man” Sketch
Bill: Now, which one these figures is Stinkor, the Evil Master of Odors?
“Chairman Mao goes nuts for a good nativity scene.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax shorts: Christmas Customs Near and Far.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Discussing Watchmen” Speech
“No, see, I have to agree with Alan Moore that the whole Before Watchmen thing is shameless.
“I hope Santa doesn’t bring him corn on the cob.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: Charlie’s Christmas Secret.
“He was kinda the Pete Best of the group.”
The Beatles riff pulled from RiffTrax: Charade.
PixTrax: “Hey, this would make a good Star Trek set.”
Star Trek PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax Presents: Cat-Women of the Moon.
“Warnings by fish-headed Star Wars characters not withstanding”
Star Wars riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Carnivorous Plants.
“These two can’t stand each other, but they put it aside for the love of the dredging.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Carnival of Souls.
“Every kitchen needs an Andy Warhol installation.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: Campbell’s Soup: The Magic Shelf.
“Dear Diary, my bowtie hates me.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Call It Free Part 2.
“And replace the panties and check the tension of the g-string.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Call It Free Part 1.
“And don’t let your son join a band called ‘The Skinless Wieners.'”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Buying Food.
“The Muppets look more natural riding bikes.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Busy Bodies.
“Can my pocket help?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Building Better Paragraphs.”
“Pregnant women and the elderly should not attempt sub-topics without a doctor’s approval.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Building An Outline.
PixTrax: “Suddenly, out of nowhere, Duane Allman appeared.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: Buffalo Rider.
PixTrax: “Bryan Ferry and Bruce Dern: mad scientists.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax Presents: Bridget and Mary Jo’s Halloween Safety and Monster Movie Mash-up.
“This Amazonian rainforest heat calls for a wool pashmina.”
Riff pulled RiffTrax Presents: Bride of the Gorilla.
“The worst complaint of all is Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo wasn’t long enough.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Breaker! Breaker!
“This is already totally wrong. Nothing like how Brainic looks in the Superman Comics. Good job, Hollywood. I’m taking this to the forums.”
The first riff from RiffTrax: Brainiac.
Riff & React: Bill & Boy of India: Rama and His Elephant
Movie: A working elephant understands about 30 command words for doing different jobs.
Sketches & Speeches: The “This Is Boston” Speech
“Please, gentlemen. This is Boston. Can’t we fight over something civilized like Deflategate or whether the Dropkick Murphys kind of suck?”
“Half man. Half curb. Man-a-curb!”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Borrowed Power.
“So, you want to hear about the new Lean Cuisine I had today?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: Boredom At Work.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Hey, Raul” Speech
“Raul. Hey, Raul. This has been bugging me. What was the name of the chick who played the daughter on Alf? Raul? Can you hear me? Daughter on Alf? Yeah, you’re no use.”
“Oh Ellen, thank you for being brave enough to give people like the Kardashians some attention.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Blood Theater.
PixTrax: “Alright, first off let me just explain how I got Timothy B. Schmidt’s hair.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: Birdemic: Shock and Terror.
“Billy is overcome with ennui at observing the mediocrity of his own neighborhood from above.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Billy’s Helicopter Ride.
“It’s like if Tim Tebow had decided to suck at rapping instead of football.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: Bicycle Safety Camp.
“Flu shots and then cocktails.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: Beyond Christmas.
“He’s, without a doubt, the lickiest villain that we’ve ever seen.”
Riff pulled from Best of RiffTrax: Villains.
“Hey, tell them what you’re going to growl. Growl. Then tell them what you growled.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Berserker: Hell’s Warrior.
“Yeah, just have a nap and maybe duck down to the crap pile and have myself a roll. Perfect afternoon.
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Behavior of Domestic Pigs.
“Ned Flanders does have a kicking onion.”
The Simpsons riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Behave Bernard.
PixTrax: “Reggie’s a cross between Milhouse and Ralph Wiggum.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Beginning Responsibility: Taking Care Of Your Own Things.
“Easy as burning through grant money.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Beginning Responsibility: Learning to Follow Instructions.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Emperor Palpatine In Drag” Sketch
Kevin: Think the kid knows his mom is Emperor Palpatine in drag?
“And speaking of others, if we learn to care for others, to respect others will learn how to care for, to respect our country.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Beginning Responsibility: Doing Things For Ourselves In School.
“I don’t know. That’s a pretty big wang to erase.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Beginning Responsibility: Broken Bookshop.
“Luckily, I’ll always have my Cindy Brady cosplay.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Beginning Responsibility: Being a Good Sport.
PixTrax: “Grade school principal or curator of a vintage pornography museum?”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Beginning Responsibility: A Lunchroom Goes Bananas.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Daughter-In-Law” Sketch
Mary Jo: Bridget, did your daughter-in-law deep clean and redecorate your house on her honeymoon?
“Those windows lack basic energy efficiency measures such as seals.”
Birdemic Callback pulled from RiffTrax: Beaks.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Living Post Apocalypse” Sketch
Mike: The upside to living post apocalypse? No Rachel Ray.
“Pretty pompous for a guy who spent five years masturbating into a pillow.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Battle for the Lost Planet.
“Now to hit on that flight attendant who looks suspiciously like Bane.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman: Tunnel of Terror (Episode 2).
“That’s the kind of box that holds the promise of your dad’s old Playboys but turns out to be extension cords and a broken smoke alarm.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman: The Wizard’s Challenge (Episode 13).
“Sam Katzman, wildly considered the Orson Wells of stories about diamond powered, remote controlled, magnetic, science weapons.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman: The Wizard Strikes Back (Episode 9).
Sketches & Speeches: The “Acetylene Torch” Sketch
Bill: Carries an acetylene torch in his pants?
“But you don’t understand. I’m a Robin and I strike fear into the hearts of men like real robins do.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman: Target Robin (Episode 6).
“Keep Rolling!” From RiffTrax Shorts: Batman: Robin’s Wild Ride (Episode 3)
Mike: ‘Snap.’ Oh god, my ankle! Guys, we have to stop.
“Cause that’s what superheroes do. They remain motionless while known criminals strip off their clothes.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman: Robin’s Ruse (Episode 11).
“That was Parker in our radioactive arachnid division.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Batman: Robin Rides the Wind (Episode 12).
“Batman and Robin, the second worst serial after Apple Jacks.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman: Robin Rescues Batman (Episode 5).
“You’re always on the bat rag.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman: Robin Meets the Wizard! (Episode 8).
“You got to give your super villains their positive reinforcement or else they get cranky.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Batman’s Last Chance (Episode 10).
“It’s as I feared, my bat sperm are few and sluggish.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman Vs. The Wizard (Episode 14).
“We suspect sinister villain ‘The Valet.'”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman Victorious (Episode 15).
“Predicting drive-time radio news, the lamest super villain power of all-time.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman Trapped! (Episode 4).
