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…Because some Riffs have it coming!

Category: Educational

Written by RifftraxDecember 6, 2022December 6, 2022

TBD

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: With An All-star Cast.

Written by RifftraxDecember 4, 2022December 2, 2022

“Find your own bovine teat to suckle.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Wing, Claw and Fang!

Written by RifftraxDecember 3, 2022December 2, 2022

PixTrax: “The Mod Squad Babies.”

PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Willy Whistle.

Written by RifftraxDecember 2, 2022December 1, 2022

“Grandpa’s just savoring that sweet moment before enjoying a brand new Marmaduke.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: William’s Doll.

Written by RifftraxDecember 1, 2022December 1, 2022

“If you listen closely, you can almost smell New Jersey.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: William From Georgia to Harlem.

Written by RifftraxNovember 30, 2022December 1, 2022

Riff & React: Kevin & Why Vandalism?

Movie: What about the church?

Written by RifftraxNovember 29, 2022December 1, 2022

“Please, I need an answer or the Diary Council is going to take my thumbs.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Why Doesn’t Cathy Eat Breakfast?/Petaluma Chicken.

Written by RifftraxNovember 28, 2022December 1, 2022

TBD

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Why Study Science.

Written by RifftraxNovember 27, 2022December 1, 2022

TBD

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: When You Grow Up.

Written by RifftraxNovember 26, 2022December 1, 2022

“And a young, sand-hating Anakin Skywalker starts down a path that will inevitably lead him down the dark side of the playground.”

Star Wars Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: When Should Grown-ups Stop Fights?

Written by RifftraxNovember 24, 2022November 29, 2022

Sketches & Speeches: The “Poems About Nature” Sketch

Bill: Too bad there are no good poems about nature.

Written by RifftraxNovember 23, 2022November 29, 2022

Riff & React: Bridget & What Will Bernard Do

Movie: Eight times.

Written by RifftraxNovember 21, 2022November 29, 2022

TBD

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: What Mary Jo Shared.

Written by RifftraxNovember 20, 2022November 29, 2022

TBD

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: What Makes Things Float?

Written by RifftraxNovember 19, 2022November 29, 2022

“No, I can’t pay you in doobage.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: What It Means to Be An American (Part 2).

Written by RifftraxNovember 18, 2022November 29, 2022

“Alert, plainclothes Cub Scouts wrestle the squirt gun away from the would-be assailant.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: What it Means to be an American (Part 1).

Written by RifftraxNovember 17, 2022November 29, 2022

“I hope the nothingness consumes us after Sesame Street.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: What is Nothing?

Written by RifftraxNovember 16, 2022November 29, 2022

“Also, Radio with Cuba Gooding Jr. is pretty skippable.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: What is a Map?

Written by RifftraxNovember 15, 2022November 29, 2022

“We have a lot of red stuff if you’re into that. You like red stuff?”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: What If We Had a Fire?

Written by RifftraxNovember 13, 2022November 29, 2022

TBD

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: What Are Letters For?

Written by RifftraxNovember 12, 2022November 29, 2022

Riff & React: Kevin & What About Juvenile Delinquency?

Movie: We’ll see him in the morning at school when we give this to him.

Written by RifftraxNovember 9, 2022November 29, 2022

“Norman seems like the kind of guy who would wish Selena Gomez a happy birthday on Twitter.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Welcome Back, Norman.

Written by RifftraxNovember 8, 2022November 29, 2022

“Jim, you are not a licensed narrator.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: We Discover the Dictionary.

Written by RifftraxNovember 7, 2022November 29, 2022

“And the butterfly says, ‘That’s not a proboscis.’ Thank you. Thank you.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Watch Out For My Plant.

Written by RifftraxNovember 6, 2022November 29, 2022

TBD

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Warty, The Toad.

Written by RifftraxNovember 3, 2022November 12, 2022

TBD

Riff pulled from RiffRiffTrax Shorts: Wanted: The Perfect Guy.

Written by RifftraxNovember 2, 2022November 12, 2022

“Yes, all around the world people travel by stereotype.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Walking to School.

Written by RifftraxNovember 1, 2022November 12, 2022

“Can we codify ‘Don’t Bogart that blunt’ into law?”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Voting at 18.

Written by RifftraxOctober 29, 2022October 28, 2022

“Just gathering some after dinner roundworms and blood flukes.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Vision in the Forest.

Written by RifftraxOctober 28, 2022November 12, 2022

“Hi, I’m John Wayne for existential despair.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Victory Squad.

Written by RifftraxOctober 25, 2022October 26, 2022

“It’s practically begging us to lick it.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Values: Understanding Ourselves.

Written by RifftraxOctober 24, 2022October 26, 2022

“His diverse business and charity interests require top-notch fiduciary oversight from qualified peers.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Values: The Right Thing to Do.

Written by RifftraxOctober 22, 2022October 19, 2022

“Sure, I can record a bitching guitar solo for you. Using it for a chase scene or an extreme sports montage? Oh, chicken movie, huh?”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Unto the Least of These.

Written by RifftraxOctober 18, 2022October 18, 2022

“What happens to a dream deferred? Does it get soggy like a cracker in the rain?”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Understanding Your Ideals.

Written by RifftraxOctober 17, 2022October 18, 2022

“Resist the temptation to stick your wiener in the Addressograph.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: U.S. Elections: How We Vote.

Written by RifftraxOctober 16, 2022October 18, 2022

“Though Bill does stand alone on his main issue, people should be allowed to marry cows.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Tuesday in November.

Written by RifftraxOctober 14, 2022October 13, 2022

“He’s truckin’ but not like do-dah man. Arrest him!”

Rock ‘n’ Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Truck Song.

Written by RifftraxOctober 10, 2022October 7, 2022

“Okay, then. To prove a point, I’m going to release 10,000 Africanized killer bees into the room.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Toward Emotional Maturity.

Written by RifftraxOctober 8, 2022October 7, 2022

Rif & React: Bill & Total Riff Off Episode 6: Brazilian Bigfoot

Movie: At last, I can see all around me, rather than just staring into dense bush.

Written by RifftraxOctober 7, 2022October 5, 2022

“He’s been weird ever since those chimps tossed him.”

Riff pulled from Total Riff Off Episode 5: Animals Behaving Badly

Written by RifftraxOctober 6, 2022October 6, 2022

Riff & React: Kevin & Total Riff Off Episode 4: Man V. Monster

Movie: I could soon be face-to-face with a monster.

Written by RifftraxOctober 5, 2022October 4, 2022

“Gator trapping is mostly about the laughs.”

Riff pulled from Total Riff Off Episode 3: Guy and a Goose.

Written by RifftraxOctober 4, 2022October 3, 2022

“So, now it’s multiple bats? I’m starting to doubt this guy’s degree in hogwash-ology.”

Riff pulled from Total Riff Off Episode 2: Demon Bat.

Written by RifftraxOctober 3, 2022October 3, 2022

“In short, the Shrimp-pocalypse is nigh. Weak humans bow before your new crustacean masters.”

Riff pulled from Total Riff Off Episode 1: Killer Shrimp N’ Friends

Written by RifftraxOctober 2, 2022October 2, 2022

“Weaker areas of knowledge include shoe purchasing and pants maintenance”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Tooth Truth with Harv and Marv.

Written by RifftraxOctober 1, 2022September 29, 2022

“Such haphazard bunny placement.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Tommy’s Day.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 30, 2022September 29, 2022

“You know, if she didn’t do all this crap maybe she wouldn’t have grandma toes.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Toes Tell/Whose Shoes?

Written by RifftraxSeptember 28, 2022September 27, 2022

“So, two years ago I got kicked in the head by a Clydesdale. Now, I make clocks out of children.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Tic Toc Time Clock.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 27, 2022September 27, 2022

“They are running out of rhymes, they’ll have to go with Peter Tork.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Three Magic Words.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 26, 2022September 27, 2022

“Okay, one more time in the shape of your butt—ah, my butt—a butt! Never mind.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts With Bridget & Mary Jo: This is Roller Skating.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 25, 2022September 24, 2022

“Careful, handling oblong tins can lead to picnic boning.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: This is Hormel.

Written by Andy BondSeptember 20, 2022September 20, 2022

“Think of it as nature’s Pepsi.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Water We Drink.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 16, 2022September 20, 2022

“So what’s weirder, a talking dog or dog that wants to watch a kid rehearse theater?”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Value of Teamwork.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 15, 2022September 15, 2022

“These shoulder pads are a full time job.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: The Troublemaker.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 14, 2022September 15, 2022

“Now there are tampons in the cigarette machine.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Trouble With Women.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 13, 2022September 15, 2022

Riff & React: Mike & The Toy Maker

Movie: I want to tell you a story about two puppets I made.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 12, 2022September 6, 2022

“You know I have a bad feeling about this. White mice are the ‘red shirts’ of the animal kingdom.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Tiny Astronaut.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 11, 2022August 31, 2022

“But then I remembered Chuck is a heroin addict. Our supply was probably where it always was in the bag labeled heroin right in the cabinet labeled heroin.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Terrible Truth.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 10, 2022August 10, 2022

Sketches & Speeches: The “Talking Cat!?!” Sketch

Kevin: The talking cat!?!

Written by RifftraxSeptember 9, 2022August 10, 2022

“Lesson number one for winter survival, do not watch the Star Wars Holiday Special.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Tale of Moose Baby.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 7, 2022August 31, 2022

“For once, I’m glad I didn’t go to refrigeration school.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: The Spring Collection.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 3, 2022August 10, 2022

“You know, as soon as this town gets Sara on track they can tackle the booming meth problem.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: The Snob.

Written by RifftraxAugust 28, 2022August 1, 2022

“I’ll dominate all conifers.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: The Relaxed Wife + Consuming Women.

Written by RifftraxAugust 27, 2022August 1, 2022

“So, she’s just going to sit there in the duck urine?”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Red Hen.

Written by RifftraxAugust 26, 2022August 1, 2022

“Oh Dick, I just love Slayer!”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: The Prom: It’s A Pleasure.

Written by RifftraxAugust 23, 2022July 30, 2022

“Those are the exact same words people use when trying to describe Rosie O’Donnell: ‘Ah, they. Um, them. Or, she. No, um, her. It! Yeah.'”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Parts of Speech.

Written by RifftraxAugust 22, 2022July 30, 2022

“I’m giving you a wedgie with my mind.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Other Fellow’s Feelings.

Written by RifftraxAugust 19, 2022August 18, 2022

“Way to stereotype. Of course, the shoplifter is a folk-rock contemporary fan.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Myths of Shoplifting.

Written by RifftraxAugust 18, 2022August 2, 2022

“I’m going with ‘D’ because ‘Bedonger’ is a hilarious name.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Mysterious Message.

Written by RifftraxAugust 17, 2022July 30, 2022

“’Hidden Sugar’ is the name of a smooth jazz album I recorded with Al Jarreau in the eighties.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Munchers.

Written by RifftraxAugust 13, 2022July 30, 2022

“Discussing aging against a backdrop of today’s hottest baroque hits.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: The Maturing Woman.

Written by RifftraxAugust 11, 2022August 2, 2022

“I love stuff from other people’s mouths.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Magic Shop.

Written by RifftraxAugust 8, 2022July 21, 2022

“Finally, a movie that blends my two loves: close-ups of trash and the music of Iron Butterfly.”

Rock ‘n’ Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Litter Monster.

Written by RifftraxAugust 7, 2022July 21, 2022

“If there’s only one collaborator, who’d she collaborate with?”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Lemonade Stand: What’s Fair?

Written by RifftraxAugust 3, 2022July 22, 2022

“Poor dope. He always wanted a pool. In the end, he got himself a pool, but the price turned out to be a little high.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: The Lady and the Rocket.

Written by RifftraxAugust 2, 2022July 21, 2022

Riff & React: The Kids Guide to the Internet

Movie: Yahoo. I’ve heard of that.Connor or Sean: —Yahoo’s new slogan.

Written by RifftraxAugust 1, 2022July 21, 2022

“Can we speak frankly about your stankiness?”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts with Bridget & Mary Jo: The Joy of Living With Fragrance

Written by RifftraxJuly 28, 2022July 21, 2022

PixTrax: “Wow, the inner tube under your pants look was huge in the sixties.”

PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Hothead / The Forgetter.

Written by RifftraxJuly 27, 2022July 19, 2022

“Right now, he’s going to pretend he’s Caroline in the City.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Home of the Future.

Written by RifftraxJuly 25, 2022July 18, 2022

“I’ve seen enough tortoise ass to last a lifetime.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Hare & The Tortoise.

Written by RifftraxJuly 23, 2022July 24, 2022

Sketches & Speeches: The “Gossip” Sketch

Mary Jo: Bridget, I want to gossip about you, but you’re my only coworker. So, do you mind?

Written by RifftraxJuly 20, 2022July 14, 2022

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Johnson, but our policy won’t allow us to take checks written to the order of your ass.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts With Bridget & Mary Jo: The Front Line.

Written by RifftraxJuly 19, 2022July 14, 2022

“Finally, all the fun of looking at a fish tank without having to actually look at a fish tank.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Fish That Nearly Drowned.

Written by RifftraxJuly 13, 2022July 12, 2022

“‘The Day I Died’ the follow up to ‘The Night I Ate Two Baconator Triple Combos.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Day I Died.

Written by RifftraxJuly 10, 2022July 9, 2022

“Damn kids; always interrupting my plant-sex.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Creeps Machine.

Written by RifftraxJuly 8, 2022July 9, 2022

“Oh, leave her be. She has a Yankees jersey, a Mets clock, and a Dodgers posters. She’s clearly a very confused child.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Clean Club.

Written by RifftraxJuly 7, 2022June 21, 2022

“We interrupt this mind-numbingly dull safety film to bring you a mind-numbingly dull safety film.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Case of Tommy Tucker (Part 2).

Written by RifftraxJuly 6, 2022June 21, 2022

“Safer than Safeville and Safetown? You’re mad!”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Case of Tommy Tucker (Part 1).

Written by RifftraxJuly 5, 2022June 20, 2022

“Reproach and everlasting shame sits mocking in my pigtails.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Calendar: How To Use It.

Written by RifftraxJuly 3, 2022June 21, 2022

“People’s dreams are so boring even if they are wearing chaps in them.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Boy Who Didn’t Listen.

Written by RifftraxJuly 1, 2022June 20, 2022

Sketches & Speeches: The “Retrograde Thrust” Sketch

Mary Jo: Oh yeah, that must be the retrograde thrust.

Written by RifftraxJune 29, 2022June 20, 2022

“Ladies and gentlemen, the First Amendment as interpreted by Tito Puente.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Bill of Rights in Action.

Written by RifftraxJune 28, 2022June 20, 2022

Riff & React: Bill & The Big Yellow Fellow

Movie: All sorts of things you have to know about school buses, son.Bill: –Like you don’t need to wear a seat belt in one for some reason. Riff & React pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Big Yellow Fellow.

Written by RifftraxJune 26, 2022June 21, 2022

“I’m not getting off this swing until I figure out my own gender.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Being On Time Game.

Written by RifftraxJune 25, 2022June 21, 2022

“Classic childhood milestones: get a bike, learn to ride it, get chased off it by a living sack.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Baggs (Studio ed.).

Written by RifftraxJune 24, 2022June 15, 2022

“Yeah, Mary. Don’t break all their books.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: The Babysitter.

Written by RifftraxJune 20, 2022June 14, 2022

“Ah, Chip, we can see you. You might want put the old teaser away.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: The Adventures of Chip and Dip.

Written by RifftraxJune 19, 2022June 14, 2022

“Holy crap, Inglewood likes to compost!”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The ABC of Walking Wisely.

Written by RifftraxJune 16, 2022June 14, 2022

“‘Ten Long Minutes,’ Peter Jackson’s adaptation of the book, ‘Two Minutes.’”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Ten Long Minutes.

Written by RifftraxJune 15, 2022June 14, 2022

“This looks like a job for my lemon bar recipe.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Telephone for Help.

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