Riff & React: Bridget & What Will Bernard Do
Movie: Eight times.
Category: Bridget Nelson
“Her hairstyle is an off-label use of bumpits.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: Vacation Days.
“Okay, one more time in the shape of your butt—ah, my butt—a butt! Never mind.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts With Bridget & Mary Jo: This is Roller Skating.
“You know, as soon as this town gets Sara on track they can tackle the booming meth problem.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: The Snob.
“We demand freedom for ham slices now.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Second Annual Bridget and Mary Jo Christmas Special.
“I’ll dominate all conifers.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: The Relaxed Wife + Consuming Women.
“Poor dope. He always wanted a pool. In the end, he got himself a pool, but the price turned out to be a little high.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: The Lady and the Rocket.
“Right now, he’s going to pretend he’s Caroline in the City.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Home of the Future.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Gossip” Sketch
Mary Jo: Bridget, I want to gossip about you, but you’re my only coworker. So, do you mind?
“I’m sorry, Mrs. Johnson, but our policy won’t allow us to take checks written to the order of your ass.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts With Bridget & Mary Jo: The Front Line.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Retrograde Thrust” Sketch
Mary Jo: Oh yeah, that must be the retrograde thrust.
“Yeah, Mary. Don’t break all their books.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: The Babysitter.
“Ah, Chip, we can see you. You might want put the old teaser away.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: The Adventures of Chip and Dip.
“‘Pranking Wildlife,’ coming soon to Nat Geo.”
Television Teaser pulled from RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: Squeak the Squirrel.
“SpongeBob Band-Aids turn me on.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: Sherlock Holmes: Dressed To Kill.
“I wrote it myself, highlighting his love of mojitos and cat memes.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: Sherlock Holmes and the Woman in Green.
“Hate to snap-judge, but England looks kinda gray.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: Sherlock Holmes and the Deadly Necklace.
“Man, I hate cocky seniors.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: Senior Power.
“Gee, it’s not often you meet a guy who knows a Scottish guy. Should I let my heart go?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: Scared To Death.
“Is this the film where they send the dogs to the gym and cats have to stay and watch it?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts With Bridget & Mary Jo: It’s a Cat’s Life.
“What color do I feel like pooping?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts With Bridget & Mary Jo: Frances and Her Rabbit.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Myself Being Kidnapped” Sketch
Mary Jo: You know what, I hand it to her. I personally wouldn’t want to draw attention to myself being kidnapped.
“Yah, we need the reggae music now, Mary Jo. We make everybody feel high.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: Nobody Tells Me What to Do!
“No men were emasculated in the making of this film.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: Naturally a Girl.
“I have some very exciting news about decimal points.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: My Mother Was Never a Kid.
“You say: ‘Calm down, it’s impossible to contract freckles.’
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: My Brother is Afraid of Just About Everything.
“Well, calm down. This is no Wiggles concert. This is daycare. This is ‘The Show.’”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: Mother of the Bride.
Riff & React: Bridget & Meet Mrs. Swenson
Movie: Alright, the Packers will be here in a few minutes!
“My god! They’re killing non-consumers!”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: Life in the Suburbs.
Sketches and Speeches: The “Lady Mobster” Sketch
Mary Jo: Whoa, was this what it was like for you Bridget when you became a lady mobster?
“Kids love embroidery.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: Katy.
“You know, you have to encourage kids like him or they turn to drugs and improv.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: Junior Prom.
Sketches & Speeches: The “That’s Classifieds” Sketch
Bridget: What ads are you putting in the paper?
“Yes, always capitalize ‘fart.'”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: How to be a Friend.
“Are you ready for some Hinkelfinking?
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: High School Hero.
“I’m a cowboy, but I just love teaching dressage.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: Harry The Dirty Dog.
“So, all fungi please report to the cafeteria.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: Girls Are Better Than Ever.
“Four out of five dentists surveyed recommend break dancing for their patients who chew gum.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: Flash That Smile.
“Fear, my reaction to new ideas and surroundings.”
The First Riff from RiffTrax Presents: Fear.
“You know what though Mary Jo, if I lived on a farm I’d want it to be in the city, like with an open concept.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: Farm Family in Autumn.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Are You High On Something “Sketch
Movie: Are you high on something?
“Mr. Grey began to change the typewriter ribbon, letting the thin strip of feathery fabric cascade over her wool-suited, beclad bosom.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: Duties of a Secretary.
“London isn’t international. It’s just in a different country.”
The first riff from RiffTrax Presents: Devil Girl From Mars.
“He managed to be lascivious about rubble.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: Deadly Instincts.
PixTrax: “Hey, this would make a good Star Trek set.”
Star Trek PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax Presents: Cat-Women of the Moon.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Daughter-In-Law” Sketch
Mary Jo: Bridget, did your daughter-in-law deep clean and redecorate your house on her honeymoon?
PixTrax: “Me on my way to work at The Limited.”
Riff pulled RiffTrax Presents: Baby of the Bride.
“Do the guests know they’re going to a remedial buffet?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Arranging the Buffet Supper.
“Well, if anyone knows anything about design it’s the makers of the Chevette.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: American Look
PixTrax: “Apologies in advance if I call you ‘Worf.'”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax Presents: Amanda and the Alien.
“I wonder if she’s regretting the lip tattoo?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: A Very Merry Riff-mas (with Bridget and Mary Jo).
“Hey, it’s kitchen Fonzi on HGTV.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: MST3K Reunion.
“Hey, keep it down! We just got the baby Jesus to sleep.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: The Blessed Midnight.
Riff & React: “So, I’m a stingy, old flattop?”
Movie: So, I’m a stingy, old flattop?
“Oh gross. The ‘last burst’ is that pimple popping website.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: Beyond Christmas.
“Fear! My reaction to new ideas and surroundings.”
First riff from RiffTrax Presents: Fear.
Sketches & Speeches: Bridget Nelson’s “Mosh Pit Etiquette Speech”
“In the event of mosh pit, the boy pushes the girl from the back by the hips into the middle of the crowd. Or the girl holds tightly to the boy’s waist as he throws punches. Mosh pit etiquette calls for certain considerations that mean more fun for everyone. A courteous boy always picks up […]
Sketches & Speeches: “The Cumberbatch Sketch”
Mary Jo: Cumberbatch is back.
Sketches & Speeches: “The Spaceship Cooling Down Sketch”
Mary Jo: Oh that’s right, there’s a spaceship cooling down.
RiffTrax Track: “Beyond Jingle Bells”
RiffTrax Presents: Beyond Christmas
“Next, pause movie, google ‘What the heck are giblets?,’ let the truth sink in, and continue with disgusted face.”
RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: Let’s Talk Turkey
“It’s mental health improv night. I need a location and a psychiatric disorder.”
RiffTrax: Sherlock Holmes and the Deadly Necklace
“Dying is easy. Interesting Martian dramas are hard.”
RiffTrax Presents: Devil Girl From Mars
RiffTrax Tracks: “Junior Black Dog”
RiffTrax Presents: Junior Prom
“Hey, don’t be stingy with the Desitin.”
RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: The Babysitter
“The first time I saw this I actually wanted to be a strung out holstein.”
RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: Farm Family in Winter
“I’ll go back to the future, but I’m not touching his McFly.”
RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: My Mother Was Never A Kid
“I call this ‘Kinder Angst in Blue with Orange Mistake.'”
RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: What Mary Jo Shared
Mary Jo: “Here comes her partner. The word is they are going to attempt the double Duran Duran.” Bridget: “That’s right. In this case, a Duran Duran Duran Duran “
RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: Flash That Smile
PixTrax: “Abe Vigoda is Akhenaten.”
RiffTrax Presents: She
PixTrax: “It’s that time of the year when the Midwest really shows itself off.’
RiffTrax Live: SUMMER SHORTS BEACH PARTY
“Jim Backus’ crab boil restaurants never really caught on.”
RiffTrax Presents: Angels’ Revenge
“Stupid State Farm says our home owner policy doesn’t cover bikini justice.”
RiffTrax Presents: Angels’ Revenge
“I don’t think Moriarty has the décolletage to pull that off.”
RiffTrax Presents: Sherlock Holmes and the Deadly Necklace
“Tongue my girlfriend. Eat Cheetos. It’s all good.”
RiffTrax Presents: Cat-Women of the Moon
“Is this the ‘Karn Evil 9’ of movie songs?”
RiffTrax Presents: Rescue Me
“I only date provosts.”
RiffTrax Presents: Deadly Instincts
“I never saw the School House Rock on mandatory minimums so I have no idea about the legality of this.”
RiffTrax Presents: Angels’ Revenge
“Golda Meir sold Tupperware?”
RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: Wonderful World of Tupperware
“Hey, if it takes a world war and megalomania to get a couple communicating I say well done.”
RiffTrax Presents: She Demons
Keep Rolling! 
You must be logged in to post a comment.