“In the event of mosh pit, the boy pushes the girl from the back by the hips into the middle of the crowd. Or the girl holds tightly to the boy’s waist as he throws punches. Mosh pit etiquette calls for certain considerations that mean more fun for everyone. A courteous boy always picks up the girl when she is trampled, however with this social group, if Ed or Lee should fall it would be acceptable for Linda, June, or Robin to help him to his feet. No one should crowd surf when there is no music.”

Bridget Nelson’s “Mosh Pit Etiquette Speech” pulled from RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: The Prom: It’s a Pleasure.