“Oh, I know this place. When I was a kid we called this ‘Swamp of the Ravens’ which was obviously stupid because these birds are buzzards. Ha. Ha. Stupid kids who luckily don’t title movies.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Swamp of the Ravens.
Tag: movie
“It’s always nice to know when characters who aren’t in the movie are sword fishing.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Superargo and the Faceless Giants.
“Critics agree, no movie has more incoherent bus chatter than Spiker.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Spiker.
“Please don’t be a Charlie Chan movie. I’m not up to riffing anything problematic.”
The first riff from RiffTrax Presents: Sherlock Holmes: Terror By Night.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Family’s Domestic Love and Bliss” Sketch
Mike: Alright, I’ve seen a lot of movies and I can tell you exactly where this is going.
Riff & React: Kevin & RiffTrax Live: Samurai Cop
Movie: Feel like somebody stuck a big club up my ass and it hurts.
“Finally, a movie about clown thermometers. Thank you.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: MST3K Reunion.
“Tell me, why do people in old-timey movies preface a question with the phrase ‘tell me’ when the interrogative nature of the statement demands a response anyway?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: Purple Death from Outer Space.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Gary Gygax” Sketch
Mike: Hey, I just got a note from the ghost of Gary Gygax.
“We need the movie in our monitors.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Play Safe (Live Edition).
Sketches & Speeches: The “Citizen Kane of Bad Movies” Sketch
Mike: And here we go with the Citizen Kane of bad movies.
“This movie contains uncredited dialogue written by Ed Wood. Enjoy in moderation.”
The first riff from RiffTrax Presents: Married Too Young.
“Boats. Photography. Caffeinated beverages. This movie has everything.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: Before I Say Goodbye*
“Look at this, two stupid robots sitting in front of a dumb movie.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Dr. Who and the Daleks.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Doesn’t This Director Know How To Make A Horror Movie?” Speech
“Come on, this is ridiculous. Doesn’t this director know how to make a horror movie?
Sketches & Speeches: The “Bird Plague Movie” Sketch
Mike: I just don’t understand how we’re this far into a bird plague movie with no discussion of stock options.
“Rest of the movie is her picking up Rod from Birdemic and comparing their Mustangs’ mpg.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Astro Zombies.
PixTrax: “Don’t let James Nguyen put footage of this in a terrible movie.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: Psycho II.
“‘Emergency vehicles parking,’ James Nguyen’s idea of a great disaster movie.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Hijacked Flight 285.
“Which is my favorite kidnapping in this movie–don’t make me decide.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: I Believe in Santa Claus.
Riff & React: “It happened two million years ago.”
Movie: It happened two million years ago. Mike: —but enough about the last good Star Wars movie. Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Curse of Bigfoot.
“The National Weather Service has issued a severe thunderstorm storm warning as well as a severely cheesy movie watch.”
First riff from RiffTrax: The Bride and The Beast.
Sketches and Speeches: “The Signal Lamp Sketch.”
Mike: A signal lamp trying to tell us something. Kevin, please decode.
Speeches & Sketches: “The Japan Sketch.”
Mike: This movie brought to you by Japan.
Sketches and Speeches: “The 12 Days of Jack Frost Sketch”
Mike: Three meatheads staring.
“C’mon! Brokeback Mountain had less fanny packing than this movie?”
RiffTrax: Cyborg Cop 2
Keep Rolling! 
You must be logged in to post a comment.