TBD
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: With An All-star Cast.
Category: RiffTrax Shorts
“Find your own bovine teat to suckle.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Wing, Claw and Fang!
PixTrax: “The Mod Squad Babies.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Willy Whistle.
“Grandpa’s just savoring that sweet moment before enjoying a brand new Marmaduke.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: William’s Doll.
“If you listen closely, you can almost smell New Jersey.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: William From Georgia to Harlem.
Riff & React: Kevin & Why Vandalism?
Movie: What about the church?
“Please, I need an answer or the Diary Council is going to take my thumbs.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Why Doesn’t Cathy Eat Breakfast?/Petaluma Chicken.
TBD
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Why Study Science.
TBD
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: When You Grow Up.
“And a young, sand-hating Anakin Skywalker starts down a path that will inevitably lead him down the dark side of the playground.”
Star Wars Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: When Should Grown-ups Stop Fights?
Sketches & Speeches: The “Poems About Nature” Sketch
Bill: Too bad there are no good poems about nature.
Riff & React: Bridget & What Will Bernard Do
Movie: Eight times.
“But first let’s stop at the Stationers for some security envelopes.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: What Mary Jo Wanted.
TBD
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: What Mary Jo Shared.
TBD
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: What Makes Things Float?
“No, I can’t pay you in doobage.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: What It Means to Be An American (Part 2).
“Alert, plainclothes Cub Scouts wrestle the squirt gun away from the would-be assailant.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: What it Means to be an American (Part 1).
“I hope the nothingness consumes us after Sesame Street.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: What is Nothing?
“Also, Radio with Cuba Gooding Jr. is pretty skippable.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: What is a Map?
“We have a lot of red stuff if you’re into that. You like red stuff?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: What If We Had a Fire?
TBD
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: What Are Letters For?
Riff & React: Kevin & What About Juvenile Delinquency?
Movie: We’ll see him in the morning at school when we give this to him.
“Norman seems like the kind of guy who would wish Selena Gomez a happy birthday on Twitter.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Welcome Back, Norman.
“Jim, you are not a licensed narrator.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: We Discover the Dictionary.
“And the butterfly says, ‘That’s not a proboscis.’ Thank you. Thank you.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Watch Out For My Plant.
TBD
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Warty, The Toad.
“Yes, all around the world people travel by stereotype.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Walking to School.
“Can we codify ‘Don’t Bogart that blunt’ into law?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Voting at 18.
“Just gathering some after dinner roundworms and blood flukes.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Vision in the Forest.
“Hi, I’m John Wayne for existential despair.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Victory Squad.
“It’s practically begging us to lick it.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Values: Understanding Ourselves.
“His diverse business and charity interests require top-notch fiduciary oversight from qualified peers.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Values: The Right Thing to Do.
“Sure, I can record a bitching guitar solo for you. Using it for a chase scene or an extreme sports montage? Oh, chicken movie, huh?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Unto the Least of These.
“What happens to a dream deferred? Does it get soggy like a cracker in the rain?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Understanding Your Ideals.
“Resist the temptation to stick your wiener in the Addressograph.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: U.S. Elections: How We Vote.
“Though Bill does stand alone on his main issue, people should be allowed to marry cows.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Tuesday in November.
“He’s truckin’ but not like do-dah man. Arrest him!”
Rock ‘n’ Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Truck Song.
“They look hungry. Maybe we should show them a cartoon?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Toyland.
“Okay, then. To prove a point, I’m going to release 10,000 Africanized killer bees into the room.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Toward Emotional Maturity.
“Weaker areas of knowledge include shoe purchasing and pants maintenance”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Tooth Truth with Harv and Marv.
“Such haphazard bunny placement.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Tommy’s Day.
“You know, if she didn’t do all this crap maybe she wouldn’t have grandma toes.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Toes Tell/Whose Shoes?
“So, two years ago I got kicked in the head by a Clydesdale. Now, I make clocks out of children.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Tic Toc Time Clock.
“They are running out of rhymes, they’ll have to go with Peter Tork.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Three Magic Words.
“Careful, handling oblong tins can lead to picnic boning.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: This is Hormel.
“The number one and number two reasons for missed baseball games: Tommy John surgery and bracket repair.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Things Are Different Now.
“Think of it as nature’s Pepsi.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Water We Drink.
“So what’s weirder, a talking dog or dog that wants to watch a kid rehearse theater?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Value of Teamwork.
“These shoulder pads are a full time job.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: The Troublemaker.
“Now there are tampons in the cigarette machine.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Trouble With Women.
Riff & React: Mike & The Toy Maker
Movie: I want to tell you a story about two puppets I made.
“You know I have a bad feeling about this. White mice are the ‘red shirts’ of the animal kingdom.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Tiny Astronaut.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Talking Cat!?!” Sketch
Kevin: The talking cat!?!
“Lesson number one for winter survival, do not watch the Star Wars Holiday Special.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Tale of Moose Baby.
“For once, I’m glad I didn’t go to refrigeration school.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: The Spring Collection.
“Eat a fish, pull your beard, laugh about it—all classic snowman stuff!”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Snowman.
“You know, as soon as this town gets Sara on track they can tackle the booming meth problem.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: The Snob.
“I like my ‘five-tini’ up, with an olive, no elf.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Shoemaker and the Elves.
“I’ll dominate all conifers.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: The Relaxed Wife + Consuming Women.
“So, she’s just going to sit there in the duck urine?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Red Hen.
“Oh Dick, I just love Slayer!”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: The Prom: It’s A Pleasure.
“Those are the exact same words people use when trying to describe Rosie O’Donnell: ‘Ah, they. Um, them. Or, she. No, um, her. It! Yeah.'”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Parts of Speech.
“I’m giving you a wedgie with my mind.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Other Fellow’s Feelings.
“A common Transylvanian food that may be killing you. We’ll have the full story at ten.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Night That Dracula Saved The World.
“What child wouldn’t want a swan replica?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Night Before Christmas.
“Way to stereotype. Of course, the shoplifter is a folk-rock contemporary fan.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Myths of Shoplifting.
“I’m going with ‘D’ because ‘Bedonger’ is a hilarious name.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Mysterious Message.
“’Hidden Sugar’ is the name of a smooth jazz album I recorded with Al Jarreau in the eighties.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Munchers.
“Discussing aging against a backdrop of today’s hottest baroque hits.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: The Maturing Woman.
“I love stuff from other people’s mouths.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Magic Shop.
“All cartoons led me to believe that long underwear with butt flaps would be a bigger part of my life.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Little King: Christmas Night.
“Finally, a movie that blends my two loves: close-ups of trash and the music of Iron Butterfly.”
Rock ‘n’ Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Litter Monster.
“If there’s only one collaborator, who’d she collaborate with?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Lemonade Stand: What’s Fair?
“Poor dope. He always wanted a pool. In the end, he got himself a pool, but the price turned out to be a little high.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: The Lady and the Rocket.
Riff & React: The Kids Guide to the Internet
Movie: Yahoo. I’ve heard of that.Connor or Sean: —Yahoo’s new slogan.
“Can we speak frankly about your stankiness?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts with Bridget & Mary Jo: The Joy of Living With Fragrance
PixTrax: “Wow, the inner tube under your pants look was huge in the sixties.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Hothead / The Forgetter.
“Right now, he’s going to pretend he’s Caroline in the City.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Home of the Future.
“I’ve seen enough tortoise ass to last a lifetime.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Hare & The Tortoise.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Gossip” Sketch
Mary Jo: Bridget, I want to gossip about you, but you’re my only coworker. So, do you mind?
“I’m sorry, Mrs. Johnson, but our policy won’t allow us to take checks written to the order of your ass.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts With Bridget & Mary Jo: The Front Line.
“Finally, all the fun of looking at a fish tank without having to actually look at a fish tank.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Fish That Nearly Drowned.
“‘The Day I Died’ the follow up to ‘The Night I Ate Two Baconator Triple Combos.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Day I Died.
“Damn kids; always interrupting my plant-sex.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Creeps Machine.
“Oh, leave her be. She has a Yankees jersey, a Mets clock, and a Dodgers posters. She’s clearly a very confused child.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Clean Club.
“We interrupt this mind-numbingly dull safety film to bring you a mind-numbingly dull safety film.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Case of Tommy Tucker (Part 2).
“Safer than Safeville and Safetown? You’re mad!”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Case of Tommy Tucker (Part 1).
“Reproach and everlasting shame sits mocking in my pigtails.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Calendar: How To Use It.
“People’s dreams are so boring even if they are wearing chaps in them.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Boy Who Didn’t Listen.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Retrograde Thrust” Sketch
Mary Jo: Oh yeah, that must be the retrograde thrust.
“Do you like my tam o’ shanter?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: The Blessed Midnight.
Riff & React: Bill & The Big Yellow Fellow
Movie: All sorts of things you have to know about school buses, son.Bill: –Like you don’t need to wear a seat belt in one for some reason. Riff & React pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Big Yellow Fellow.
“I’m not getting off this swing until I figure out my own gender.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Being On Time Game.
“Classic childhood milestones: get a bike, learn to ride it, get chased off it by a living sack.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Baggs (Studio ed.).
“Yeah, Mary. Don’t break all their books.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: The Babysitter.
“Ah, Chip, we can see you. You might want put the old teaser away.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: The Adventures of Chip and Dip.
“Holy crap, Inglewood likes to compost!”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The ABC of Walking Wisely.
“‘Ten Long Minutes,’ Peter Jackson’s adaptation of the book, ‘Two Minutes.’”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Ten Long Minutes.
“This looks like a job for my lemon bar recipe.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Telephone for Help.
“Some kids think soccer is a sport, but police know it’s a threat to society.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Teenagers on Trial.
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