“And a young, sand-hating Anakin Skywalker starts down a path that will inevitably lead him down the dark side of the playground.”
Star Wars Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: When Should Grown-ups Stop Fights?
Category: Star Wars
Riff & React: Bridget & What Will Bernard Do
Movie: Eight times.
“Let’s see, damp basement, bearded guys in capes, two strong indicators that the people around you care deeply whether Han shot first.”
Star Wars Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Voodoo Man.
“Always have to take an elective before you begin Jedi training.”
Star Wars Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Bride and the Beast.
“Unless Arbor Day and Life Day happen to coincide. Then, you know, Chewbacca’s out.”
Star Wars riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Patriotism.
Sketches & Speeches: “The Ninjas Suck Sketch”
Kevin: Wait! This guy—it just occurred to me—
“His debut gets a Jar Jar Binks like reception.”
Star Wars riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Individual Differences.
“Warnings by fish-headed Star Wars characters not withstanding”
Star Wars riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Carnivorous Plants.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Emperor Palpatine In Drag” Sketch
Kevin: Think the kid knows his mom is Emperor Palpatine in drag?
PixTrax: “Man, they really Nabooed the hell out of her, didn’t they?”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: Aladdin.
PixTrax: “Buff Hayden Christensen.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: 1990: Bronx Warriors.
“Use the Force, Zindy.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Zindy The Swamp Boy.
“So they all have regrettable Star Wars tattoos. Who cares?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Yesterday’s Target.
“I feel a great disturbance in the Yambao.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Yambao.
“So, throwing tantrums is his main power. He’s like a way cooler version of Kylo Ren.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Wes Craven’s Mind Ripper.
“So, is he a padawan learner or a stormtrooper? These Star Wars Blu-rays are really confusing.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Warriors of the Wasteland.
“Let’s see, damp basement, bearded guys in capes–two strong indicators that the people around you care deeply whether Han shot first.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Voodoo Man.
“Malla? They’re praying to Chewbacca’s wife?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Sons of Hercules: Land of Darkness.
Riff & React: “There’s a force in this room.”
Movie: There’s a force in this room.
“I assume for 1930s audiences seeing this pack of dogs on screen was the equivalent of a hundred Death Stars.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Most Dangerous Game.
RiffTrax Tracks: “Can It Nerd”
“Can It Nerd” pulled from RiffTrax: The Little Unicorn.
“Ah, Luke is here to free Leia and Han from—I’m kidding. It’s a barely disguised Jaime Pressly.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Journey: Absolution.
“Always have to take an elective before you begin Jedi training.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Bride and The Beast.
“I got metachorlreians coming out of my ass, I tells ya.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Supersonic Man.
“You call that a hyperdrive? I’ve seen more torque on a BB-8.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Star Games.
“A text from General Akbar. It says: ‘It’s a tra’–I’ll finish it later. “
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Jack the Giant Killer.
“Reno: the Tosche Station of Nevada.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Godmonster of Indian Flats.
“The last person I was this happy to see burn was Anakin Skywalker.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Ghosthouse.
“Not to be confused with ‘Fisto Fury.’ That is some very disturbing fan fiction about Kit Fitso.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Fist of Fury.
“They did it. They invented a kid more annoying then Jake Lloyd. I didn’t think it was possible.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Firehead.
Sketches & Speeches: “The Undramatic Digital Fantasy Effects Sketch”
Kevin: So, at what age do you stop being interested in really undramatic digital fantasy effects?
PixTrax: “R2 fell in with some bad droids.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: Dr. Who: Daleks – Invasion Earth: 2150 A.D.
“Someday, with any luck, I’ll be ‘Grand Moff’ of a place like this.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Dr. Who and The Daleks.
“Ohh, this one’s big enough to tauntaun.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Deadly Prey.
“Yeah, it’s a bit late to start dropping fourth-rate Han Solo quips, pal.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Cyber Tracker.
“They can’t fix the bike until their nephew returns with some power converters.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Cool as Ice.
“Hey, that mace looks heavy pal. Don’t let the Mace Windu. I’ll see myself out.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Bloody Pit of Horror.
“Hey, a stormtrooper finally hit somebody.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Battlefield Earth.
“This excitement is what Star Wars failed to deliver by not showing Luke picking up the power converters at Tosche Station.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Attack From Space.
PixTrax: “Welcome to Skywalker Ranch.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Alien Outlaw.
“147 parsecs!?! Han Solo could have made the Kessel Run 12 times by now.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe.
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