“And she quickly loses interest in her ‘Tickle Me Yahoo Serious Doll.'”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: A Christmas Dream.
Category: Bill Corbett
Sketches & Speeches: “The El Paso Sketch”
Kevin: This looks vaguely familiar. Oh right, my vacation footage from when I went to hell.
PixTrax: “Walker, Texas Eavesdropper.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: Breaker! Breaker!
“‘Police Academy 14’ direct to Pluto TV.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Martial Law.
“‘Oh Yor,’ Wednesday nights after ‘Hello Larry.'”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Yor Hunter From the Future.
“We now return to ‘Robert Z’Dar Puts On A Lab Coat and Makes a Grilled Cheese’ already in progress.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Godmonster of Indian Flatts.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Bird Plague Movie” Sketch
Mike: I just don’t understand how we’re this far into a bird plague movie with no discussion of stock options.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Mass Solar” Sketch
Bill: About my new company, Mass Solar.
“Bark beetles cause forest fires. Good night.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Billy’s Helicopter Ride.
“The high society equivalent of ‘uhh, I hear a mountain lion.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Power.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Tree-Hugger Guy” Sketch
Bill: I hear a mountain lion.
Riff & React: “Ten million dollars.”
Movie: Ten million dollars.
Riff & React: “There’s just nothing wrong with shooting a few damn birds.”
Movie: There’s just nothing wrong with shooting a few damn birds.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Rod From Birdemic” Sketch
Kevin: This feels like Rod Sterling should step out and do a monologue.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Young James Nguyen” Sketch
Bill: Okay, it’s not a coat hanger but it’s very close.
Sketches & Speeches: The “James Nguyen Trucker Picture” Sketch
Mike: This scene of an 18-wheeler slowly starting and pulling away guest directed by James Nguyen.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Diving Scenes’ First Cousin” Sketch
Kevin: And here comes driving scenes’ first cousin, carefully signaling and turning into a parking lot scene.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Directed By Mr. James Nguyen” Sketch
Mike: Parking scene guest directed by Mr. James Nguyen.
“Silent nod of respect from James Nguyen for these driving and parking scenes.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Killers in Space.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Our First Birdemic” Sketch
Kevin: Ot-oh, she’s going to pull a Becky on the beach.
Sketches & Speeches: “The Imagine Sketch”
Bill: Is the soundtrack trying to become John Lennon’s “Imagine” or am I just a dreamer?
Riff & React: “Don’t you get it, you’re a dreamer.”
Movie: Don’t you get it, you’re a dreamer.
Riff & React: “Anybody you chose.”
Movie: Anybody you chose.
“This is like if the first Wings album started with two minutes of ‘Hey Jude.'”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Psycho II.
Sketches & Speeches: The “If Dogs Wrote The Beatles Songs” Sketch
Bill: He’s laughing cause he remembers that great hashtag pun on Twitter last night.
Riff & React: “So Mark, how do you feel about putting some board breaking into the act?”
Movie: So Mark, how do you feel about putting some board breaking into the act?
“Live a normal life? You’re a volleyball player, not one of The Beatles. C’mon!”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Spiker.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Ringo’s a Chicken” Sketch
Bill: That’s my favorite Beatles movie. Yellow Submarine was too weird. What the hell is with Magical Mystery Tour?
RiffTrax Tracks: “Back in the USSR (At Least It Wasn’t Delta)”
“Back in the USSR (At Least It Wasn’t Delta)” pulled from RiffTrax: Wonder Women.
“I turned off my mind, relaxed, and floated down stream.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Self Conscious Guy.
“Turn me on, dead man. Turn me on, dead man. Turn me on.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Killers From Space.
“Not a dirty, old man like Mean Mr. Mustard.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Fairy King of Ar.
“That’s it. I’m going to set all my Beatles albums on fire. Dragon Sound and friendship for life!”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Miami Connection.
Riff & React: Bill & Retro Puppet Master
Movie: I’m sorry my friends. I’m sorry I failed you and I’m sorry that I need your help.
Riff & React: Bill & Dragon Wars: D-War
Movie: In appearance, the creature seems reptilian.
Riff & React: Bill & Laser Mission
Movie: And just south of here is the most miserable, burning, parched stretch of god forsaken desert in the world.
Riff & React: Bill & Berserker: Hell’s Warrior
Movie: Quiet serf!
Riff & React: Bill & Missile to the Moon – Three Riffer Edition
Movie: A wedding that will follow an event in the extermination chamber.
Riff & React: Bill & Neutron the Atomic Superman vs. the Death Robots
Movie: These three brave, young men collaborated with him: Charles, James, and Mark.
Riff & React: Bill & The Dark
Movie: This channel sucks.
Riff & React: Bill & The Journey: Absolution
Movie: Why the hell are you here, boy!?! Why!?!
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Ice Cream Man
Mike: Golden Corral’s new slogan—ah dang, I can’t quite make that work.
Sketches & Speeches: The “You Golden Corralled Us” Sketch
Movie: Very close to success.
“‘It was worth a try,’ Golden Corral’s old slogan? Nobody would believe that?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Oblivion 2: Backlash.
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Son of Sinbad… Again!
Movie: If this doesn’t kill them, the smell will.
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By The Return
Movie: Dog, bite whatever it is or shut up.
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Fever Lake… Again!
Movie: I’m telling you it’s going to blow.
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Subspecies IV: The Awakening
Movie: Have you tasted blood?
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Radical Jack
Movie: To be honest with you, the less you know the better.
“Golden Corral’s New Slogan” Served By Uninvited
“‘Here pussy, have some food.’ Golden Corral’s new slogan.”
“Golden Corral’s New Slogan” Served by R.O.T.O.R
Movie: Hey, you want to go the IHOP? Huh?
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Starship Invasions
Movie: Please don’t die. It’s really good for you. Please eat it.
“Golden Corral’s New Slogan” Served By To Catch A Yeti
Movie: Please don’t die. It’s really good for you. Please eat it.
“Golden Corral’s New Slogan” Served By RiffTrax: The Room
Movie: Fed me.
Sketches & Speeches: “Not Golden Corral’s New Slogan Sketch”
Bill: Golden Corral, your favorite dinning establishment.
Sketches & Speeches: “The Army of Ziggys Sketch”
Bill: Man, I just realized he’s making an army of Ziggys.
“Behold my powers of drapery procurement.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Christmas Circus with Whizzo the Clown!
“Ned Wertimer, he is good in everything.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.
“Okay lady, play God all you want but leave the Ed Grimley dancing out of it.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.
“Yep. Just an old man, with a sharp weapon, stamping baby butts on a conveyor belt. You know.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Festival of Fun Days.
“Oh, when I get bored I mutilate phallic objects.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Christmas Shorts-stravaganza!
“Okay, now try beckoning not like a wraith trying to lure us into a hell dimension.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: A Song For Santa.
“Hey Timmy, could you grab my balls like 100 percent less?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny.
Sketches & Speeches: “The Polonia Brothers Erotica Sketch”
Kevin: Oh yes. Soap up there, mustache. That’s how Kevie likes it.
“Oh, when I get bored I mutilate phallic objects.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Christmas Shorts-stravaganza!
“Sure, text books. Add those to the list of things that belong in a little girl’s room right under full-size piano and tree candles.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: A Christmas Dream.
“Nikki Sixx once woke up with a needle still in his arm, but you know, respectfully doing household chores is pretty metal too.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Rock ‘n’ Roll Nightmare.
Riff & React: “Like it’s warm; the arms hold you tight; it’s dark.”
Movie: Like it’s warm; the arms hold you tight; it’s dark.
“Cyrus Clemmons, he use to play saxophone with Bryce Sprungsteen, Steamy Zan Fant, Jack Steinberg, and the rest of the Three Street Band.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Godmonster of Indian Flatts.
“They loved super annoying noise in the sixties. I mean, between this and The Doors.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Girl from Rio.
“The young tramp was before the tramp got powers and became Supertramp.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Sunset Strip.
PixTrax: “The Journey and Boston album covers are at war.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: Star Games.
“‘Uncharted Journeys to the Sun,’ is this a mellow crooner cover of a Rush song?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Ruby.
“Oh great! Now, a prog rock concert is gonna to start. Run kid, run.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Bermuda Triangle.
Sketches & Speeches: “The Emerson, Lake and Palmer Song Is Trying to Start Sketch”
Mike: An Emerson, Lake and Palmer song is trying to start!
“Based on the noise, I’d say we’re hiding in Keith Emerson’s closet.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Rock ‘N’ Roll Nightmare.
Sketches & Speeches: “The Boys Sketch”
Mike: Maybe these are “The Boys?”
Sketches & Speeches: “The Dresden 1945 Sketch”
Mike: Mmm, I guess we’re in Dresden 1945?
Sketches & Speeches: “The Are You Ready To Rock Sketch”
Kevin: Are you ready to rock?
“Use the Force, Zindy.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Zindy The Swamp Boy.
“So, throwing tantrums is his main power. He’s like a way cooler version of Kylo Ren.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Wes Craven’s Mind Ripper.
“So, is he a padawan learner or a stormtrooper? These Star Wars Blu-rays are really confusing.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Warriors of the Wasteland.
“Malla? They’re praying to Chewbacca’s wife?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Sons of Hercules: Land of Darkness.
“A text from General Akbar. It says: ‘It’s a tra’–I’ll finish it later. “
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Jack the Giant Killer.
“The last person I was this happy to see burn was Anakin Skywalker.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Ghosthouse.
“They did it. They invented a kid more annoying then Jake Lloyd. I didn’t think it was possible.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Firehead.
PixTrax: “R2 fell in with some bad droids.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: Dr. Who: Daleks – Invasion Earth: 2150 A.D.
“Someday, with any luck, I’ll be ‘Grand Moff’ of a place like this.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Dr. Who and The Daleks.
“Yeah, it’s a bit late to start dropping fourth-rate Han Solo quips, pal.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Cyber Tracker.
“147 parsecs!?! Han Solo could have made the Kessel Run 12 times by now.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe.
“In terms of erotic moments, this rates right in between Craig Stadler’s win at the ’82 Masters and President Taft’s inauguration.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Room.
“Hot chocolate and a mint tea, are you guys headed to Lilithfair?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Room.
“He’s like Richard Nixon setting up the Watergate recordings only not as sexy.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Room.
“I think I broke me underwears.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Room.
“Yeah, and that’s why Russel Stover was just drowning in poon.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Room.
Sketches & Speeches: “The Efficient Sex Scene Sketch”
Kevin: Now, why can’t the sex scenes be that efficient?
“Just sitting next to a framed picture of a spoon.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Room.
Sketches & Speeches: “The Poor Usher Sketch”
Mike: Man, poor usher, huh?
“Wait! There’s a second The Room upstairs? I’m confused already.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Room.
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