Sketches & Speeches: The “Learning People’s Name” Sketch
Bill: Icebreaker. Get ready for ninety minutes of a corporate retreat where everyone sits in a circle learning people’s name through a fun game.
Category: Action
PixTrax: “Bentals Unlimited. I wonder if they bent roats. I’d love to take my fids kishing.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: Honor and Glory.
“You got Venmo or are you one of those Zelle weirdos?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Hijacked: Flight 285.
Sketches & Speeches: The “I’d Hate To Be Rick Wakeman Right About Now” Sketch
Bill: Ooh, Zamfir. Get down with your bad self. Tear Windham Hill a new one.
“I’m horny but not ‘me so horny.'”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Fist of Fury.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Estonia” Sketch
Kevin: What do we want?
“This screenplay broke the world record for the use of the word ‘lumbering.'”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Final Justice.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Power Corp” Sketch
Movie: In other news, a plane containing medical supplies exploded last night and authorities believe it’s the work of the Power Corp.
“Live Chinese and krill comedy! Come see the very best in Chairman Mao impressions and crawfish anecdotes.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Death Promise.
“‘Action International,’ parent company to ‘Romantic Comedy Regional.'”
The first riff from RiffTrax: Deadly Prey.
PixTrax: “Suddenly, out of nowhere, Duane Allman appeared.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: Buffalo Rider.
“The worst complaint of all is Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo wasn’t long enough.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Breaker! Breaker!
Sketches & Speeches: The “This Is Boston” Speech
“Please, gentlemen. This is Boston. Can’t we fight over something civilized like Deflategate or whether the Dropkick Murphys kind of suck?”
“He’s, without a doubt, the lickiest villain that we’ve ever seen.”
Riff pulled from Best of RiffTrax: Villains.
“Hey, tell them what you’re going to growl. Growl. Then tell them what you growled.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Berserker: Hell’s Warrior.
“Now to hit on that flight attendant who looks suspiciously like Bane.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman: Tunnel of Terror (Episode 2).
“That’s the kind of box that holds the promise of your dad’s old Playboys but turns out to be extension cords and a broken smoke alarm.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman: The Wizard’s Challenge (Episode 13).
“Sam Katzman, wildly considered the Orson Wells of stories about diamond powered, remote controlled, magnetic, science weapons.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman: The Wizard Strikes Back (Episode 9).
Sketches & Speeches: The “Acetylene Torch” Sketch
Bill: Carries an acetylene torch in his pants?
“But you don’t understand. I’m a Robin and I strike fear into the hearts of men like real robins do.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman: Target Robin (Episode 6).
“Keep Rolling!” From RiffTrax Shorts: Batman: Robin’s Wild Ride (Episode 3)
Mike: ‘Snap.’ Oh god, my ankle! Guys, we have to stop.
“Cause that’s what superheroes do. They remain motionless while known criminals strip off their clothes.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman: Robin’s Ruse (Episode 11).
“That was Parker in our radioactive arachnid division.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Batman: Robin Rides the Wind (Episode 12).
“Batman and Robin, the second worst serial after Apple Jacks.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman: Robin Rescues Batman (Episode 5).
“You’re always on the bat rag.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman: Robin Meets the Wizard! (Episode 8).
“It’s as I feared, my bat sperm are few and sluggish.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman Vs. The Wizard (Episode 14).
“We suspect sinister villain ‘The Valet.'”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman Victorious (Episode 15).
“Predicting drive-time radio news, the lamest super villain power of all-time.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman Trapped! (Episode 4).
“Science: pants not required.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman Takes Over (Episode 1).
“How many steps did we get in? Enough to go to Chili’s?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: Angels’ Revenge.
PixTrax: “Buff Hayden Christensen.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: 1990: Bronx Warriors.
“But don’t go anywhere, the World Series of Marbles is up next.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Spiker.
“‘That’s Our Bruce,’ Fridays at eight.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Fist of Fury.
PixTrax: “Walker, Texas Eavesdropper.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: Breaker! Breaker!
“‘Three Nuns and a Little Dragon,’ Fridays on ABC.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Super Mario Bros.
PixTrax: “We now return to ‘The Adventures of Young John Cleese.'”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: Robo Vampire.
“‘Police Academy 14’ direct to Pluto TV.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Martial Law.
“‘Douche Bottle and Skank,’ this fall on TNT.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Laser Mission.
“Tonight on ‘Law and Order: Special Outfits Unit.'”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Superargo and the Faceless Giants.
“Coming soon to ABC, ‘Extreme Home Invasion Makeover.’ They’re going to threaten your life and critique your wood paneling.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Samurai Cop.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Mass Solar” Sketch
Bill: About my new company, Mass Solar.
“No wait—that’s a bark beetle infestation.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Icebreaker.
“Sorry, I thought I saw a spruce bark beetle.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Berserker: Hell’s Warrior.
“We’ve heard tales of your cruelty. The Birdemic is nigh.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Treasure of The Amazon.
Riff & React: “Ten million dollars.”
Movie: Ten million dollars.
“Yo, slowly pull in and park this baby Birdemic-style. Word to your mother.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Cool as Ice.
“I’ve always wondered what Platoon would have been like if James Nguyen had directed it.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Deadly Prey.
PixTrax: “James Nguyen’s Hell’s Angels brother.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: Sunset Strip.
Sketches & Speeches: The “James Nguyen Trucker Picture” Sketch
Mike: This scene of an 18-wheeler slowly starting and pulling away guest directed by James Nguyen.
“‘Emergency vehicles parking,’ James Nguyen’s idea of a great disaster movie.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Hijacked Flight 285.
Sketches & Speeches: The “James Nguyen’s Taxi Driver” Sketch
Mike: James Nguyen’s Taxi Driver.
Riff & React: “Anybody you chose.”
Movie: Anybody you chose.
“Everyone is losing their minds just like when The Beatles played Mrs. Peterson’s third period study hall.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Lovely But Deadly.
Riff & React: “So Mark, how do you feel about putting some board breaking into the act?”
Movie: So Mark, how do you feel about putting some board breaking into the act?
“Hey guys, guys. Hey, let’s do the Abbey Road thing, guys. Guys? Come on.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: No Retreat, No Surrender.
RiffTrax Tracks: “Back in the USSR (At Least It Wasn’t Delta)”
“Back in the USSR (At Least It Wasn’t Delta)” pulled from RiffTrax: Wonder Women.
PixTrax: “Oh no, hillbilly John Lennon is robbing a bank.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: Light Blast.
“That’s it. I’m going to set all my Beatles albums on fire. Dragon Sound and friendship for life!”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Miami Connection.
Riff & React: Bill & Laser Mission
Movie: And just south of here is the most miserable, burning, parched stretch of god forsaken desert in the world.
Riff & React: Kevin & Lovely But Deadly
Movie: And now it’s time for Captain Magic to show you how he got his name.
Riff & React: Bill & Neutron the Atomic Superman vs. the Death Robots
Movie: These three brave, young men collaborated with him: Charles, James, and Mark.
Riff & React: Kevin & 1990: Bronx Warriors
Movie: Hey, one more step and you’re dead.
Sketches & Speeches: The “You Golden Corralled Us” Sketch
Movie: Very close to success.
“A woman being thrown into a buffet table. If I want to see that I’ll just head to Golden Corral.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Lovely But Deadly.
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Son of Sinbad… Again!
Movie: If this doesn’t kill them, the smell will.
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Son of Sinbad
Movie: Stop feeding your ugly faces and listen to me.
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Velvet Smooth
Movie: I never expect anything.
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Radical Jack
Movie: To be honest with you, the less you know the better.
“Golden Corral’s New Slogan” Served By Yor, The Hunter From the Future
Movie: Why did you come to this land of death?
“Golden Corral’s New Slogan” Served by R.O.T.O.R
Movie: Hey, you want to go the IHOP? Huh?
“Golden Corral’s New Slogan” Served By To Catch A Yeti
Movie: Please don’t die. It’s really good for you. Please eat it.
“Golden Corral’s New Slogan” Served By RiffTrax: Suburban Sasquatch
Movie: I can’t tell what it is from here, but you’ll have its head on a platter by nightfall.
“They loved super annoying noise in the sixties. I mean, between this and The Doors.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Girl from Rio.
PixTrax: “Anthony Kiedis, civil servant.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: Death Promise.
“The young tramp was before the tramp got powers and became Supertramp.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Sunset Strip.
“Glen Danzig will watch you bathe outdoors. Just try our new service. Get 15 percent off your first order with discount code ‘Glen Danzig will watch you bathe outdoors.'”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Berserker: Hell’s Warrior.
“Big missed opportunity not queuing up something off of Atom Heart Mother for this fight.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Ninja Warlord.
“Patty Smyth is pissed. She’s going to shoot at them like they’re the walls of heartache.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Bounty Tracker.
“‘Rumours on the Street,’ Fleetwood Mac’s unfortunate attempt at a hip hop album.”
Riff Pulled from RiffTrax: Velvet Smooth.
“We’ll go our own way per Fleetwood Mac’s advice.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Girl from Rio.
“Use the Force, Zindy.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Zindy The Swamp Boy.
“Malla? They’re praying to Chewbacca’s wife?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Sons of Hercules: Land of Darkness.
“Not to be confused with ‘Fisto Fury.’ That is some very disturbing fan fiction about Kit Fitso.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Fist of Fury.
“Ohh, this one’s big enough to tauntaun.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Deadly Prey.
“Yeah, it’s a bit late to start dropping fourth-rate Han Solo quips, pal.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Cyber Tracker.
“147 parsecs!?! Han Solo could have made the Kessel Run 12 times by now.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe.
“This week on Funky Missile and the Uptown Scuds!”
First riff from RiffTrax: Missile X: The Neutron Bomb Incident.
Sketches & Speeches: “The Sprach Zarathustra Speech.”
Kevin: Sounds like Sprach Zarathustra.
PixTrax: “We now take you live to the set of the seventies porn film, The Life and Times of Grizzly Ass Hams.”
First riff from RiffTrax: The Guy From Harlem.
PixTrax: “Presents the name that shocked the spelling world.”
First riff from RiffTrax: Cyborg Cop 2.
PixTrax: “Scott Shaw presents default Adobe Premiere slate templates.”
The first riff from RiffTrax: Rollergator.
PixTrax: “We now join an Iron Butterfly video already in progress.”
The first riff from RiffTrax: Superargo and the Faceless Giants.
PixTrax: “Cornet presents: Putting on Gloves and You.”
The first riff from RiffTrax: Laser Mission.
Speeches & Sketches: “The Japan Sketch.”
Mike: This movie brought to you by Japan.
“Edgewood Studios: we survived Time Chasers and Radical Jack. You think you can stop Edgewood Studios? Nothing can stop Edgewood Studios!”
The first riff from RiffTrax: Icebreaker.
“If that turns out to be a Jellicle cat’s foot, I’m leaving.”
The first riff from RiffTrax: Sunset Strip.
Sketches & Speeches: “The Dry Cleaner Sketch”
Kevin: What? Wait! What the—
“First, there was only darkness. Then there was synth.”
The first riff from RiffTrax: Bounty Tracker.
“Roast in hell 1940s Batman.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman Victorious (Episode 15).
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