PixTrax: “Buff Hayden Christensen.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: 1990: Bronx Warriors.
Category: Action
“But don’t go anywhere, the World Series of Marbles is up next.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Spiker.
“‘That’s Our Bruce,’ Fridays at eight.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Fist of Fury.
PixTrax: “Walker, Texas Eavesdropper.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: Breaker! Breaker!
“‘Three Nuns and a Little Dragon,’ Fridays on ABC.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Super Mario Bros.
PixTrax: “We now return to ‘The Adventures of Young John Cleese.'”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: Robo Vampire.
“‘Police Academy 14’ direct to Pluto TV.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Martial Law.
“‘Douche Bottle and Skank,’ this fall on TNT.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Laser Mission.
“Tonight on ‘Law and Order: Special Outfits Unit.'”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Superargo and the Faceless Giants.
“Coming soon to ABC, ‘Extreme Home Invasion Makeover.’ They’re going to threaten your life and critique your wood paneling.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Samurai Cop.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Mass Solar” Sketch
Bill: About my new company, Mass Solar.
“No wait—that’s a bark beetle infestation.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Icebreaker.
“Sorry, I thought I saw a spruce bark beetle.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Berserker: Hell’s Warrior.
“We’ve heard tales of your cruelty. The Birdemic is nigh.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Treasure of The Amazon.
Riff & React: “Ten million dollars.”
Movie: Ten million dollars.
“Yo, slowly pull in and park this baby Birdemic-style. Word to your mother.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Cool as Ice.
“I’ve always wondered what Platoon would have been like if James Nguyen had directed it.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Deadly Prey.
PixTrax: “James Nguyen’s Hell’s Angels brother.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: Sunset Strip.
Sketches & Speeches: The “James Nguyen Trucker Picture” Sketch
Mike: This scene of an 18-wheeler slowly starting and pulling away guest directed by James Nguyen.
“‘Emergency vehicles parking,’ James Nguyen’s idea of a great disaster movie.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Hijacked Flight 285.
Sketches & Speeches: The “James Nguyen’s Taxi Driver” Sketch
Mike: James Nguyen’s Taxi Driver.
Riff & React: “Anybody you chose.”
Movie: Anybody you chose.
“Everyone is losing their minds just like when The Beatles played Mrs. Peterson’s third period study hall.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Lovely But Deadly.
Riff & React: “So Mark, how do you feel about putting some board breaking into the act?”
Movie: So Mark, how do you feel about putting some board breaking into the act?
“Hey guys, guys. Hey, let’s do the Abbey Road thing, guys. Guys? Come on.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: No Retreat, No Surrender.
RiffTrax Tracks: “Back in the USSR (At Least It Wasn’t Delta)”
“Back in the USSR (At Least It Wasn’t Delta)” pulled from RiffTrax: Wonder Women.
PixTrax: “Oh no, hillbilly John Lennon is robbing a bank.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: Light Blast.
“That’s it. I’m going to set all my Beatles albums on fire. Dragon Sound and friendship for life!”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Miami Connection.
Riff & React: Bill & Laser Mission
Movie: And just south of here is the most miserable, burning, parched stretch of god forsaken desert in the world.
Riff & React: Kevin & Lovely But Deadly
Movie: And now it’s time for Captain Magic to show you how he got his name.
Riff & React: Bill & Neutron the Atomic Superman vs. the Death Robots
Movie: These three brave, young men collaborated with him: Charles, James, and Mark.
Riff & React: Kevin & 1990: Bronx Warriors
Movie: Hey, one more step and you’re dead.
Sketches & Speeches: The “You Golden Corralled Us” Sketch
Movie: Very close to success.
“A woman being thrown into a buffet table. If I want to see that I’ll just head to Golden Corral.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Lovely But Deadly.
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Son of Sinbad… Again!
Movie: If this doesn’t kill them, the smell will.
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Son of Sinbad
Movie: Stop feeding your ugly faces and listen to me.
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Velvet Smooth
Movie: I never expect anything.
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Radical Jack
Movie: To be honest with you, the less you know the better.
“Golden Corral’s New Slogan” Served By Yor, The Hunter From the Future
Movie: Why did you come to this land of death?
“Golden Corral’s New Slogan” Served by R.O.T.O.R
Movie: Hey, you want to go the IHOP? Huh?
“Golden Corral’s New Slogan” Served By To Catch A Yeti
Movie: Please don’t die. It’s really good for you. Please eat it.
“Golden Corral’s New Slogan” Served By RiffTrax: Suburban Sasquatch
Movie: I can’t tell what it is from here, but you’ll have its head on a platter by nightfall.
“They loved super annoying noise in the sixties. I mean, between this and The Doors.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Girl from Rio.
PixTrax: “Anthony Kiedis, civil servant.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: Death Promise.
“The young tramp was before the tramp got powers and became Supertramp.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Sunset Strip.
“Glen Danzig will watch you bathe outdoors. Just try our new service. Get 15 percent off your first order with discount code ‘Glen Danzig will watch you bathe outdoors.'”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Berserker: Hell’s Warrior.
“Big missed opportunity not queuing up something off of Atom Heart Mother for this fight.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Ninja Warlord.
“Patty Smyth is pissed. She’s going to shoot at them like they’re the walls of heartache.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Bounty Tracker.
“‘Rumours on the Street,’ Fleetwood Mac’s unfortunate attempt at a hip hop album.”
Riff Pulled from RiffTrax: Velvet Smooth.
“We’ll go our own way per Fleetwood Mac’s advice.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Girl from Rio.
“Use the Force, Zindy.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Zindy The Swamp Boy.
“Malla? They’re praying to Chewbacca’s wife?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Sons of Hercules: Land of Darkness.
“Not to be confused with ‘Fisto Fury.’ That is some very disturbing fan fiction about Kit Fitso.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Fist of Fury.
“Ohh, this one’s big enough to tauntaun.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Deadly Prey.
“Yeah, it’s a bit late to start dropping fourth-rate Han Solo quips, pal.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Cyber Tracker.
“147 parsecs!?! Han Solo could have made the Kessel Run 12 times by now.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe.
“This week on Funky Missile and the Uptown Scuds!”
First riff from RiffTrax: Missile X: The Neutron Bomb Incident.
Sketches & Speeches: “The Sprach Zarathustra Speech.”
Kevin: Sounds like Sprach Zarathustra.
PixTrax: “We now take you live to the set of the seventies porn film, The Life and Times of Grizzly Ass Hams.”
First riff from RiffTrax: The Guy From Harlem.
PixTrax: “Presents the name that shocked the spelling world.”
First riff from RiffTrax: Cyborg Cop 2.
PixTrax: “Scott Shaw presents default Adobe Premiere slate templates.”
The first riff from RiffTrax: Rollergator.
PixTrax: “We now join an Iron Butterfly video already in progress.”
The first riff from RiffTrax: Superargo and the Faceless Giants.
PixTrax: “Cornet presents: Putting on Gloves and You.”
The first riff from RiffTrax: Laser Mission.
Speeches & Sketches: “The Japan Sketch.”
Mike: This movie brought to you by Japan.
“Edgewood Studios: we survived Time Chasers and Radical Jack. You think you can stop Edgewood Studios? Nothing can stop Edgewood Studios!”
The first riff from RiffTrax: Icebreaker.
“If that turns out to be a Jellicle cat’s foot, I’m leaving.”
The first riff from RiffTrax: Sunset Strip.
Sketches & Speeches: “The Dry Cleaner Sketch”
Kevin: What? Wait! What the—
“First, there was only darkness. Then there was synth.”
The first riff from RiffTrax: Bounty Tracker.
“Roast in hell 1940s Batman.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman Victorious (Episode 15).
“Cause that’s what superheroes do. They remain motionless while known criminals strip off their clothes.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman: Robin’s Ruse (Episode 11).
“Wonder if the Wizard ever had a tiff with Hooded Justice from the Watchmen over costume similarities?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman: The Wizard’s Challenge (Episode 13).
“Journal of Vicky Vale, intrepid girl reporter. As I crept toward The Harbor Club, the odors of hooliganism and loaded potato skins mingled threateningly in the air.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman: The Wizard Strikes Back (Episode 9).
“It’s a hot one. I should have worn my seersucker balaclava.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman: Robin Rides the Wind (Episode 12).
“Spontaneous combustion: it’s not just for elderly shut-ins anymore.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman: Robin Meets the Wizard! (Episode 8).
“The Macarena starts arm out palm down, Callahan. You’re off the force!”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman Vs. The Wizard (Episode 14)
PixTrax: “Ikea’s new Kevorkian chair.”
PixTrax captured from RiffTrax Shorts: Robin Rescues Batman (Episode 5).
“Batman and Robin presumed dead or squatting.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman’s Last Chance (Episode 10).
“Splendid! Care for some tweed?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman: Robin’s Wild Ride (Episode 3).
PixTrax: “How Apple wants you to see your year-old iPhone.”
PixTrax captured from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman Victorious (Episode 15).
“I hear Batman doesn’t like green beans. You guys ever hear that?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman: Target Robin (Episode 6).
“‘Unseen’ like A Million Ways to Die in the West.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman Vs. The Wizard (Episode 14).
“I once broke into his garage and ate a bag of his potting soil.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman’s Last Chance (Episode 10).
Sketches & Speeches: “The Much More Discrete Sketch”
Kevin: This is much more discrete then simply walking to the rendezvous point.
“Hand stamp undamaged—good! Sorry CBGB, The Wizard only pays one cover charge.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman Vs. The Wizard (Episode 14).
“I drank too much Moxie on the way here. I’m going to find a tinkle bush.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman: The Wizard’s Challenge (Episode 13).
“I just want to forget you saying the phrase ‘wizard placenta.'”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman: Robin Rides the Wind (Episode 12).
“Also, Batman smells like Aspercreme.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman: Robin’s Ruse (Episode 11).
“I’m starting to think I can’t trust this known super villain associater.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman’s Last Chance (Episode 10).
“I want your insight as a dissipated gadabout.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman: The Wizard Strikes Back (Episode 9).
“There they go. John Goodman’s dirty undies.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman: Robin Meets the Wizard! (Episode 8).
“I feel like even more of a douche smoking one of these and I’m already Robin.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman: The Fatal Blast (Episode 7).
“It’s the museum of lame gang names.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman: Target Robin (Episode 6).
“Now we can make our own table salt instead of buying it like suckers.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Robin Rescues Batman (Episode 5).
“Gross. It’s full of sexy The Penguin ladies Halloween costumes.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman Trapped! (Episode 4).
“But I’m late for my Louis Nye resembling lesson.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman: Robin’s Wild Ride (Episode 3).
“The cliffs of Gotham. This city’s got it all.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman: Tunnel of Terror (Episode 2).
“First, I’m going to make Bill O’Reilly and Shaquille O’Neal kiss.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman Takes Over (Episode 1).
Sketches & Speeches: “The Beach Blanket Assassins Sketch”
Mike: Frankie Avalon in Beach Blanket Assassins.
Sketches & Speeches: “Fred Stanford’s Truck Sketch”
Bill: They blew up Fred Stanford’s truck.
