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Keep Rolling!

…Because some Riffs have it coming!

Category: Action

Written by RifftraxOctober 30, 2022November 12, 2022

“Kids love watching daredevils quietly sneak into mental hospitals to rescue bitter alcoholics.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Viva Knievel!

Written by RifftraxOctober 26, 2022October 26, 2022

“That President Nixon is a real cool cat.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Velvet Smooth.

Written by RifftraxOctober 21, 2022October 19, 2022

“Speaking of mistakes, I went hard on the seven-layer dip. I’m going to go wreck the billionaires’ men’s room.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Universal Soldier III: Unfinished Business.

Written by RifftraxOctober 20, 2022October 19, 2022

Riff & React: Kevin & Universal Soldier II: Brother In Arms

Movie: Police today are still on the lookout for Veronica Roberts

Written by RifftraxOctober 15, 2022October 18, 2022

“Man can you wreck a can. Whoa. The waft just hit me.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Trucker’s Woman.

Written by RifftraxOctober 12, 2022October 13, 2022

“And what does it mean for the hammock lifestyle?”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Treasure of the Amazon.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 5, 2022August 10, 2022

“These two are about as covert as a pride parade.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Sons of Hercules: Land of Darkness.

Written by RifftraxAugust 29, 2022August 1, 2022

“I should warn you, my pants have a touch of Lycra for an easy feel.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Retrievers.

Written by RifftraxAugust 15, 2022July 27, 2022

“She could tell the skeleton belonged to a white person by The Decemberists ticket in its pocket.”

Rock ‘n’ Riffs pulled from RiffTrax: The Minion.

Written by RifftraxAugust 14, 2022July 27, 2022

Riff & React: Bill & The Million Eyes of Sumuru

Movie: You know Rome?

Written by RifftraxJuly 24, 2022July 24, 2022

Sketches & Speeches: The “We Can Go Have Sex” Sketch

Kevin: We can go have sex.

Written by RifftraxJuly 22, 2022July 17, 2022

“She’s like Sgt. Shultz but with a better midriff.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Girl from Rio.

Written by RifftraxJuly 18, 2022July 14, 2022

“I hope this doesn’t sound culturally insensitive, but your religion eats.”

Riff pulled from The Film Crew: Wild Women of Wongo.

Written by RifftraxJuly 15, 2022July 14, 2022

“Yes, sir. This is what I do it for. To be lifted and caressed by other bediapered men.”

Riff pulled from The Film Crew: Giant of Marathon.

Written by RifftraxJune 10, 2022June 2, 2022

Sketches & Speeches: The “Body Sacks” Sketch

Bill: You know Lupe, I love using burlap for my body sacks. Sturdy, yet light and breathable.

Written by RifftraxJune 9, 2022June 2, 2022

“It’s always nice to know when characters who aren’t in the movie are sword fishing.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Superargo and the Faceless Giants.

Written by RifftraxJune 8, 2022June 2, 2022

Riff & React: Kevin & Super Mario Bros.

Movie: This pit hole. Germs everywhere. Fungus.

Written by RifftraxJune 7, 2022June 2, 2022

“Whoa, this is the building where George Zaloom wrote Encino Man. I’m sorry, I’m a bit of a Cino head.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Sunset Strip.

Written by RifftraxMay 30, 2022May 29, 2022

“There was a sale on Go-GURT this week. We’re going to be rich.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Stone Cold.

Written by RifftraxMay 21, 2022March 24, 2022

“This guy’s being a real tent-maker right now.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Son of Sinbad.

Written by RifftraxMay 12, 2022March 17, 2022

“Anybody need anything Walked or Texas ranged?”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Silent Rage.

Written by RifftraxMay 3, 2022March 12, 2022

“Hey kids, proper grammar is everyone’s family.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Max Havoc: Ring of Fire.

Written by RifftraxMay 1, 2022March 11, 2022

“Well, you know this is about a woman because she’s got the heat full blast.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: SHE.

Written by RifftraxApril 20, 2022March 8, 2022

Sketches & Speeches: The “Family’s Domestic Love and Bliss” Sketch

Mike: Alright, I’ve seen a lot of movies and I can tell you exactly where this is going.

Written by RifftraxApril 2, 2022February 28, 2022

PixTrax: “The Art Garfunkel Army has finally seized power.”

PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: Robo Vampire.

Written by RifftraxMarch 23, 2022February 26, 2022

“Airport Taco Bell was a terrible idea.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Sharknado 2.

Written by RifftraxMarch 22, 2022March 4, 2022

“You are a bikini bar waitress. Show some dignity!”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Sharknado.

Written by RifftraxMarch 18, 2022February 23, 2022

Riff & React: Kevin & RiffTrax Live: Samurai Cop

Movie: Feel like somebody stuck a big club up my ass and it hurts.

Written by RifftraxMarch 12, 2022February 21, 2022

Sketches & Speeches: The “Dragon Sound and Friendship For Life” Sketch.

Kevin: Well, that’s it. I’m burning all my Beatles albums. Dragon Sound and friendship for life. Yeah!

Written by RifftraxFebruary 8, 2022February 4, 2022

“Yes, the poor wheat harvest was due to their mistaken belief that in Soviet Russia wheat harvests you.”

The first riff from RiffTrax: Red Dawn.

Written by RifftraxFebruary 2, 2022February 8, 2022

PixTrax: “I write Drupal code.”

PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: Radical Jack.

Written by RifftraxJanuary 25, 2022January 24, 2022

“How much do you know about Vermont’s cheddar mining industry?”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Pressure Point.

Written by RifftraxJanuary 15, 2022January 31, 2022

Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Fugitive Rage

Movie: Then you must have a very big ass.

Written by RifftraxJanuary 5, 2022January 5, 2022

“Is now the time to tell them I’m Robert Smigel? No, not yet.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Omega Cop.

Written by RifftraxDecember 27, 2021December 27, 2021

“Enjoy the Dragon Sound concert tonight, kids.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: No Retreat, No Surrender.

Written by RifftraxDecember 26, 2021December 27, 2021

“Make them suffer. Only let them have access to those weird video games you can play on hotel room TVs.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Ninja Warlord.

Written by RifftraxDecember 19, 2021December 19, 2021

Riff & React: Kevin & Neutron The Atomic Superman vs. The Death Robots

Movie: This is Professor Mensies.

Written by RifftraxDecember 5, 2021December 5, 2021

“Because I need to catch up on my friend’s web series first. It’s about dating in L.A.—very fresh.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Missile X: The Neutron Bomb Incident.

Written by RifftraxDecember 4, 2021January 31, 2022

“This here narrative has entered a Möbius strip of repeatin’ violence.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Atomic Garden.

Written by RifftraxNovember 30, 2021November 30, 2021

“The history of cinema has a lot of mail checking scenes, but this one is definitely the best. Oh, I’m sorry. Did I say ‘the best?’ I meant the ‘longest.'”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Miami Connection.

Written by RifftraxNovember 22, 2021November 21, 2021

“Spanish guys with guns swarming over a wall—it’s a Lou Dobbs fever dream.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: McBain.

Written by RifftraxNovember 21, 2021November 18, 2021

“Why did they make this prison so hard to get out of?”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Maximum Revenge.

Written by RifftraxNovember 20, 2021November 18, 2021

Sketches & Speeches: “The Ninjas Suck Sketch”

Kevin: Wait! This guy—it just occurred to me—

Written by RifftraxNovember 18, 2021November 18, 2021

Riff & React: Kevin & Martial Law 2

Movie: So, who’s the new girl?

Written by RifftraxNovember 17, 2021November 17, 2021

PixTrax: “Classic. They’re playing good cop, Kenny Loggins-resembling cop.”

PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: Martial Law.

Written by RifftraxNovember 13, 2021January 31, 2022

“Sun visor gun’s got nothing on ass-knife.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Dangerous Men.*

Written by RifftraxNovember 5, 2021November 4, 2021

PixTrax: “He should be at the skinny Adam West convention.”

PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: Lovely But Deadly.

Written by RifftraxOctober 30, 2021October 31, 2021

“My father said I’d never be able to extort city governments with a light blaster. How do you like me now, dad!”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Light Blast.

Written by RifftraxOctober 23, 2021October 22, 2021

“Around this time, the director said he was going for some real Lawrence of Arabia type stuff while the two unpaid interns standing behind him made exaggerated jerk-off motions.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Laser Mission.

Written by RifftraxOctober 13, 2021October 13, 2021

Sketches & Speeches: The “Ruined Heling” Sketch

Kevin: You know, it’s almost like Nazis have ruined heiling things for the rest of us.

Written by RifftraxOctober 12, 2021October 11, 2021

“I told you I can’t stand that tape of John Williams B-sides.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Kill and Kill Again.

Written by RifftraxOctober 8, 2021October 7, 2021

“He gets so snippy when he’s sleeveless.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Karate Cop.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 16, 2021September 16, 2021

Sketches & Speeches: The “Learning People’s Name” Sketch

Bill: Icebreaker. Get ready for ninety minutes of a corporate retreat where everyone sits in a circle learning people’s name through a fun game.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 7, 2021September 7, 2021

PixTrax: “Bentals Unlimited. I wonder if they bent roats. I’d love to take my fids kishing.”

PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: Honor and Glory.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 5, 2021September 1, 2021

“You got Venmo or are you one of those Zelle weirdos?”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Hijacked: Flight 285.

Written by RifftraxAugust 31, 2021August 31, 2021

Sketches & Speeches: The “I’d Hate To Be Rick Wakeman Right About Now” Sketch

Bill: Ooh, Zamfir. Get down with your bad self. Tear Windham Hill a new one.

Written by Andy BondJuly 23, 2021July 22, 2021

“I’m horny but not ‘me so horny.'”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Fist of Fury.

Written by RifftraxJuly 20, 2021July 20, 2021

Sketches & Speeches: The “Estonia” Sketch

Kevin: What do we want?

Written by RifftraxJuly 19, 2021July 18, 2021

“This screenplay broke the world record for the use of the word ‘lumbering.'”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Final Justice.

Written by RifftraxJune 13, 2021June 11, 2021

Sketches & Speeches: The “Power Corp” Sketch

Movie: In other news, a plane containing medical supplies exploded last night and authorities believe it’s the work of the Power Corp.

Written by RifftraxJune 4, 2021June 3, 2021

“Live Chinese and krill comedy! Come see the very best in Chairman Mao impressions and crawfish anecdotes.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Death Promise.

Written by RifftraxJune 3, 2021June 2, 2021

“‘Action International,’ parent company to ‘Romantic Comedy Regional.'”

The first riff from RiffTrax: Deadly Prey.

Written by RifftraxApril 19, 2021April 16, 2021

PixTrax: “Suddenly, out of nowhere, Duane Allman appeared.”

PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: Buffalo Rider.

Written by RifftraxApril 16, 2021April 15, 2021

“The worst complaint of all is Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo wasn’t long enough.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Breaker! Breaker!

Written by RifftraxApril 13, 2021April 11, 2021

Sketches & Speeches: The “This Is Boston” Speech

“Please, gentlemen. This is Boston. Can’t we fight over something civilized like Deflategate or whether the Dropkick Murphys kind of suck?”

Written by RifftraxApril 4, 2021April 7, 2021

“He’s, without a doubt, the lickiest villain that we’ve ever seen.”

Riff pulled from Best of RiffTrax: Villains.

Written by RifftraxApril 3, 2021April 2, 2021

“Hey, tell them what you’re going to growl. Growl. Then tell them what you growled.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Berserker: Hell’s Warrior.

Written by RifftraxMarch 20, 2021March 19, 2021

“Now to hit on that flight attendant who looks suspiciously like Bane.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman: Tunnel of Terror (Episode 2).

Written by RifftraxMarch 19, 2021March 19, 2021

“That’s the kind of box that holds the promise of your dad’s old Playboys but turns out to be extension cords and a broken smoke alarm.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman: The Wizard’s Challenge (Episode 13).

Written by RifftraxMarch 18, 2021March 16, 2021

“Sam Katzman, wildly considered the Orson Wells of stories about diamond powered, remote controlled, magnetic, science weapons.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman: The Wizard Strikes Back (Episode 9).

Written by RifftraxMarch 17, 2021March 16, 2021

Sketches & Speeches: The “Acetylene Torch” Sketch

Bill: Carries an acetylene torch in his pants?

Written by RifftraxMarch 16, 2021March 14, 2021

“But you don’t understand. I’m a Robin and I strike fear into the hearts of men like real robins do.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman: Target Robin (Episode 6).

Written by RifftraxMarch 15, 2021March 16, 2021

“Keep Rolling!” From RiffTrax Shorts: Batman: Robin’s Wild Ride (Episode 3)

Mike: ‘Snap.’ Oh god, my ankle! Guys, we have to stop.

Written by RifftraxMarch 14, 2021March 4, 2021

“Cause that’s what superheroes do. They remain motionless while known criminals strip off their clothes.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman: Robin’s Ruse (Episode 11).

Written by RifftraxMarch 13, 2021March 4, 2021

“That was Parker in our radioactive arachnid division.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Batman: Robin Rides the Wind (Episode 12).

Written by RifftraxMarch 12, 2021March 4, 2021

“Batman and Robin, the second worst serial after Apple Jacks.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman: Robin Rescues Batman (Episode 5).

Written by RifftraxMarch 11, 2021March 4, 2021

“You’re always on the bat rag.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman: Robin Meets the Wizard! (Episode 8).

Written by RifftraxMarch 9, 2021March 8, 2021

“It’s as I feared, my bat sperm are few and sluggish.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman Vs. The Wizard (Episode 14).

Written by RifftraxMarch 8, 2021March 4, 2021

“We suspect sinister villain ‘The Valet.'”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman Victorious (Episode 15).

Written by RifftraxMarch 7, 2021March 4, 2021

“Predicting drive-time radio news, the lamest super villain power of all-time.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman Trapped! (Episode 4).

Written by RifftraxMarch 6, 2021March 4, 2021

“Science: pants not required.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman Takes Over (Episode 1).

Written by RifftraxFebruary 6, 2021February 5, 2021

“How many steps did we get in? Enough to go to Chili’s?”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: Angels’ Revenge.

Written by RifftraxJanuary 2, 2021January 20, 2021

PixTrax: “Buff Hayden Christensen.”

PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: 1990: Bronx Warriors.

Written by RifftraxDecember 27, 2020December 26, 2020

“But don’t go anywhere, the World Series of Marbles is up next.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Spiker.         

Written by RifftraxDecember 26, 2020December 23, 2020

“‘That’s Our Bruce,’ Fridays at eight.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Fist of Fury.

Written by RifftraxDecember 23, 2020December 16, 2020

PixTrax: “Walker, Texas Eavesdropper.”

PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: Breaker! Breaker! 

Written by RifftraxDecember 21, 2020December 16, 2020

“‘Three Nuns and a Little Dragon,’ Fridays on ABC.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Super Mario Bros.

Written by RifftraxDecember 19, 2020December 30, 2020

PixTrax: “We now return to ‘The Adventures of Young John Cleese.'”

PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: Robo Vampire.

Written by RifftraxDecember 15, 2020December 30, 2020

“‘Police Academy 14’ direct to Pluto TV.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Martial Law.

Written by RifftraxDecember 14, 2020December 30, 2020

“‘Douche Bottle and Skank,’ this fall on TNT.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Laser Mission.

Written by RifftraxDecember 9, 2020December 30, 2020

“Tonight on ‘Law and Order: Special Outfits Unit.'”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Superargo and the Faceless Giants.

Written by RifftraxDecember 3, 2020December 4, 2020

“Coming soon to ABC, ‘Extreme Home Invasion Makeover.’ They’re going to threaten your life and critique your wood paneling.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Samurai Cop.         

Written by RifftraxNovember 29, 2020November 29, 2020

Sketches & Speeches: The “Mass Solar” Sketch

Bill: About my new company, Mass Solar.

Written by RifftraxNovember 28, 2020November 27, 2020

RiffTrax Tracks: “Hanging Out With My Enemies”

Written by RifftraxNovember 26, 2020November 25, 2020

“No wait—that’s a bark beetle infestation.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Icebreaker.

Written by RifftraxNovember 26, 2020January 8, 2022

“Sorry, I thought I saw a spruce bark beetle.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Berserker: Hell’s Warrior.

Written by RifftraxNovember 25, 2020November 25, 2020

“We’ve heard tales of your cruelty. The Birdemic is nigh.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Treasure of The Amazon.

Written by RifftraxNovember 20, 2020November 20, 2020

Riff & React: “Ten million dollars.”

Movie: Ten million dollars.

Written by RifftraxNovember 19, 2020November 18, 2020

“Yo, slowly pull in and park this baby Birdemic-style. Word to your mother.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Cool as Ice.

Written by RifftraxNovember 13, 2020November 10, 2020

“I’ve always wondered what Platoon would have been like if James Nguyen had directed it.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Deadly Prey.

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