“Don’t get your hopes up guys. It’s Canadian stripping. She changes into a snowmobile suit.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe.
Category: Science Fiction
“Next, on ‘America’s Funniest Dimensional Transporter Bloopers.'”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Prisoners of the Lost Universe.
“‘Alien Car Wreckers’ this fall on the History Channel. Hell, we’ll show anything.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Alien Outlaw.
“‘Oh Yor,’ Wednesday nights after ‘Hello Larry.'”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Yor Hunter From the Future.
“The director challenged them to walk less naturally than Rod from Birdemic.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Dark Future.
“Well, somehow the spruce bark beetles are to blame.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Star Games.
“What it would look like if NASA had hired James Nguyen to fake the moon landing instead of Kubrick.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Battle for the Lost Planet.
Riff & React: “There’s just nothing wrong with shooting a few damn birds.”
Movie: There’s just nothing wrong with shooting a few damn birds.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Diving Scenes’ First Cousin” Sketch
Kevin: And here comes driving scenes’ first cousin, carefully signaling and turning into a parking lot scene.
“Silent nod of respect from James Nguyen for these driving and parking scenes.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Killers in Space.
Riff & React: “Don’t you get it, you’re a dreamer.”
Movie: Don’t you get it, you’re a dreamer.
“Omus’ robots. Writing the words of a sermon that no one will hear. Robots comes near.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Shape of Things To Come.
“Why don’t you vaporize me in the road?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Battlefield Earth.
“Turn me on, dead man. Turn me on, dead man. Turn me on.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Killers From Space.
“Ladies and gentlemen, The Beatles: John, Paul, George, and Summlaxadork.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Starship Troopers.
Riff & React: Mike & Missile to the Moon – Three Riffer Edition
Movie: It seems their troubles began about twenty years ago.
Riff & React: Kevin & Planet of Dinosaurs
Movie: Navigation, where are we?
Riff & React: Mike & The Return
Movie: I’m not used to lady scientists running through the streets of my little town.
Riff & React: Mike & Dinosaurus
Movie: I have found a caveman.
Riff & React: Kevin & Cyborg Cop 2
Movie: What about the constitution?
Riff & React: Bill & Missile to the Moon – Three Riffer Edition
Movie: A wedding that will follow an event in the extermination chamber.
Riff & React: Mike & Yesterday’s Target
Movie: Is there a pharmacy around here?
Riff & React: Mike & Prisoners of the Lost Universe
Movie: I thought you were about to suffer a fate worse than death.
Riff & React: Bill & The Dark
Movie: This channel sucks.
Riff & React: Matthew & Assignment: Outer Space
Movie: I have never felt so lonely.
Riff & React: Janet & Dreamscape
Movie: They’re getting progressively worse.
Riff & React: Bill & The Journey: Absolution
Movie: Why the hell are you here, boy!?! Why!?!
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Last Woman On Earth
Movie: In a couple of days the stench alone will choke us.
“‘It was worth a try,’ Golden Corral’s old slogan? Nobody would believe that?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Oblivion 2: Backlash.
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By The Return
Movie: Dog, bite whatever it is or shut up.
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Dark Future
“‘What is this place? Just shut up.’ Golden Corral’s new slogan.” Golden Corral’s new slogan pulled from RiffTrax: Dark Future.
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Contamination
“Golden Corral’s new slogan.”
“Golden Corral’s New Slogan” Served By Yor, The Hunter From the Future
Movie: Why did you come to this land of death?
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Starship Invasions
Movie: Please don’t die. It’s really good for you. Please eat it.
“Golden Corral’s New Slogan” Served By RiffTrax: Star Games
Movie: Don’t swallow. Don’t swallow. Just chew.
PixTrax: “The Journey and Boston album covers are at war.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: Star Games.
PixTrax: “If you stare into it long enough you join Emerson, Lake and Palmer.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: The Return.
“So they all have regrettable Star Wars tattoos. Who cares?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Yesterday’s Target.
“So, is he a padawan learner or a stormtrooper? These Star Wars Blu-rays are really confusing.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Warriors of the Wasteland.
“Ah, Luke is here to free Leia and Han from—I’m kidding. It’s a barely disguised Jaime Pressly.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Journey: Absolution.
“I got metachorlreians coming out of my ass, I tells ya.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Supersonic Man.
“You call that a hyperdrive? I’ve seen more torque on a BB-8.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Star Games.
“They did it. They invented a kid more annoying then Jake Lloyd. I didn’t think it was possible.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Firehead.
PixTrax: “R2 fell in with some bad droids.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: Dr. Who: Daleks – Invasion Earth: 2150 A.D.
“Someday, with any luck, I’ll be ‘Grand Moff’ of a place like this.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Dr. Who and The Daleks.
“Yeah, it’s a bit late to start dropping fourth-rate Han Solo quips, pal.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Cyber Tracker.
“Hey, a stormtrooper finally hit somebody.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Battlefield Earth.
“This excitement is what Star Wars failed to deliver by not showing Luke picking up the power converters at Tosche Station.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Attack From Space.
PixTrax: “Welcome to Skywalker Ranch.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Alien Outlaw.
“147 parsecs!?! Han Solo could have made the Kessel Run 12 times by now.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe.
“A Joshua Tree! Look out for stray Bonos!”
First riff from RiffTrax: Killers From Space.
Sketches and Speeches: “The Jesse Ventura Sketch”
Mike: Guys, I’m not sure what’s coming but this music is getting me pretty pumped up about it.
PixTrax: “Vacuum cleaners of the gods.”
First riff from RiffTrax: Supersonic Man.
PixTrax: “Presents the name that shocked the spelling world.”
First riff from RiffTrax: Cyborg Cop 2.
Sketches and Speeches: “The Signal Lamp Sketch.”
Mike: A signal lamp trying to tell us something. Kevin, please decode.
Speeches & Sketches: “The Betty Columbia Speech.”
“Hi, guys. Betty Columbia here. Welcome to the show.
Sketches & Speeches: “The Ed McMahon Serious Threat Sketch”
Bill: These aliens move like barges. They’re too slow to be a serious threat.
Sketches & Speeches: “The Andromeda Strain/Alien Sketch”
Mike: Hey, you got your Andromeda Strain in my Alien.
Sketches & Speeches: “The Missal to the Moon Sketch”
Bill: So, um, they’re referring to a rocket, right, and not ‘missal’ as in the Catholic prayer book?
Sketches & Speeches: “The Horse Racing Sketch”
Janet: And straight out of the gate it’s Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah with a strong lead followed by Baby Got Back and Precious Moments, and Scarface, Wobble Maker, and Beep-Bop-Boo bringing up the rear.
Sketches & Speeches: Bill Corbett’s “How Do I Know This You Ask Speech”
“How do I know this you ask? I’m in a bowling league with Starman.
Sketches & Speeches: “The We Are Destroying Sketch”
Movie: Destroy! Destroy them!
RiffList: “Dave Ryder Nicknames”
Lump Drywall
Sketches & Speeches: “The Christmas Nostalgia Sketch”
Bill: Yeah, gotta admit guys all this tender Christmas nostalgia is kinda getting to me.
PixTrax: “Can you confirm my resemblance to Sam Elliott, over?”
RiffTrax: Warriors of the Wasteland
“She can ‘John’ my ‘Pertwee’ anytime.”
RiffTrax: Dr. Who and The Daleks
PixTrax: “How can I fit more 2s on my hat?”
RiffTrax: Contamination
“I could be banging Marvin the Martian’s wife right now.”
RiffTrax: Feeders
“They ventured across the galaxy to tease our cats!”
RiffTrax: The Visitor
“Dying is easy. Interesting Martian dramas are hard.”
RiffTrax Presents: Devil Girl From Mars
“Your hair is even hockey-er than I remember.”
RiffTrax Live: Time Chasers
“Rutherford B. Hayes gets a lap dance.”
RiffTrax Live: Space Mutiny
RiffTrax Tracks: “Cyborg Cop Flashdance”
RiffTrax: Cyborg Cop
RiffTrax Track: “Music Montage”
RiffTrax: Outlaw Alien
RiffTrax Tracks: “Clouds and Cities”
RiffTrax: Julie and Jack
RiffTrax Tracks: “In A Lost Universe With You”
RiffTrax: Prisoners of the Lost Universe
PixTrax: “Rush hour in Barstow.”
RiffTrax: Missle to the Moon – Three Riffer Edition
PixTrax: “Neil deGrasse Tyson just tweeted that these names are scientifically implausible.”
RiffTrax: Starship Invasions
PixTrax: “Mark David Chapman just hanging outside the Dakota. Cool.”
RiffTrax: Starship Invasion
PixTrax: “Repairs to Snoop Dog’s bong continue.”
RiffTrax Presents: Warning From Space
PixTrax: “Look at all the controls. How do they keep track of everything?”
RiffTrax: Plan Nine From Outer Space
PixTrax: “Rosie the Riveter is looking rough.”
RiffTrax: Yesterday’s Target
“On the upside we’ll save hundreds on our gravy bills.”
RiffTrax: Plan 9 From Outer Space
“Hey! C’mon! We’re death robots. We’re overclocked as it is. “
RiffTrax: Neutron The Atomic Superman vs. Death Robots
“Dressing like a Starksy and Hutch extra finally broke him.”
RiffTrax: The Dark
“Tongue my girlfriend. Eat Cheetos. It’s all good.”
RiffTrax Presents: Cat-Women of the Moon
“C’mon! Brokeback Mountain had less fanny packing than this movie?”
RiffTrax: Cyborg Cop 2
“I’m gonna go do levy town.”
RiffTrax: Plan 9 From Outer Space
“Good idea waiting until night. I always think NASA is daft launching rockets in the day when space isn’t there yet.”
RiffTrax Presents: Flight to Mars
“Now we can’t use our televiser to watch The Tonighter Show.”
RiffTrax: Plan Nine From Outer Space
“You know what they say, leg health starts at the crotch.”
RiffTrax: Cyber Tracker
“‘Guys Talking in Drab Rooms’ magazine gave this film five stars.”
RiffTrax: Killers from Space
“Erich Von Daniken’s Cocktail Shakers of the Gods.”
RiffTrax Presents: Warning From Space
“Out of the way. We’re henchmen. We have important henching to do.”
RiffTrax Live: Time Chasers
“Yes, could you please say ‘skin of the plane’ one thousand percent less.”
RiffTrax Live: Time Chasers
“Wow, I guess that sectional sofa dry-hump was better than it looked.”
RiffTrax: Replica
“Damn, it’s already planet o’clock.”
RiffTrax Live: Star Raiders
“Try not to think about our 36th president saying ‘bunghole.'”
RiffTrax: The Astro-Zombies
“Also, what human being would ever say a sentence like: ”He grows organic apples which I buy from him?'”
RiffTrax: Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe
