“Aliens hate flash photography. Even more than museum guards.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Starship Invasions.
Category: Science Fiction
Sketches & Speeches: The “Which Brian?” Sketch
Kevin: Which Brian? I’m lost and I’m a Brian.
“Good night fat astronaut. May flights of aliens sing thee to thy rest”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: HANGAR 18 (with Matthew J. Elliott and Ian Potter).
“Now, when they promised me a model sequence I was hoping for something with Kate Upton and a skipping rope.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: Flight to Mars (Matthew J. Elliott, Ian Potter)
“A Plymouth Reliant shot through a chain link fence? Dial back the visual splendor please!”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Time Chasers.
“Hey, I’m a reptile. Anyone know why I have breasts?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Star Raiders.
PixTrax: “‘Give me the Gabe Kaplan,’ she told her hairdresser.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax Live: Space Mutiny.
“Attention aliens, will you leave if we give you Shirley MacLaine?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Plan 9 From Outer Space.
“Is this soundtrack racist? Because Mickey Rooney’s character in Breakfast at Tiffany’s thinks it might be a little racist.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Replica.
“And I do mean crawl. You see folks, I’m secretly a baby.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: R.O.T.O.R.
“Tell me, why do people in old-timey movies preface a question with the phrase ‘tell me’ when the interrogative nature of the statement demands a response anyway?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: Purple Death from Outer Space.
RiffTrax Tracks: “Truck Driving Blues”
“Truck Driving Blues” pulled from RiffTrax: Psychotronic Man.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Gary Gygax” Sketch
Mike: Hey, I just got a note from the ghost of Gary Gygax.
“Sorry about the mess in here guys. I kinda live out of my dirigible.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: Planet Outlaws (with Matthew J. Elliott and Ian Potter).
“Mary Appleseth wanted top billing but got crushed by the powerful Derna Wylde publicly machine.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Planet of Dinosaurs.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Citizen Kane of Bad Movies” Sketch
Mike: And here we go with the Citizen Kane of bad movies.
“The good, the bad, and the straight to video.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Oblivion 2: Backlash.
“One request, have townsfolk throw mud instead of tomatoes at me. I have a lycopene allergy.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Oblivion.
“Would a guy with a velvet bull fighter painting lie?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Missile to the Moon (Mike Nelson and Fred Willard edition).
“Would a guy with a velvet bull fighter painting lie?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Missile to the Moon
“You know, think what you want, but Roger Corman really revolutionized how bipeds were portrayed on screen.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: Last Woman on Earth.
“Clearly, we need a 20-part true crime podcast that tells maybe 40 minutes of story.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Killers From Space.
“She walks like Rod from Birdemic.”
Birdemic Callback Riff pulled from RiffTrack: Julie and Jack.
“I just want to hold a file today that isn’t damp from sheriff sweat.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: Invasion of the Bee Girls (with Matthew J. Elliott and Ian Potter).
“Junior high health class was especially tough on William Cameron Menzies.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Invaders from Mars.
“We should all start judging time in terms of when scientists arrive at airports.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Gammera The Invincible.
“Good, our new copy of ‘Hideous 80s Couples in Wretched Ugly Kitchens Monthly’ is here.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Future Zone.
“Give me a good beer-belly beer. I gotta maintain.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Future Force.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Tiny Stool” Sketch
Ian: He was sitting on a ridiculously tiny stool.
“He spends more time in the basement than the New York Jets.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Feeders 2: Slay Bells.
“The art department nailed what I thought her closet would look like.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Feeders.
“‘Zupnick-Curtis Enterprises’—when you want your film production to sound like office supplies.”
The first riff of RiffTrax Presents: Dreamscape.
Riff & React: Kevin & Dragon Wars: D-War
Movie: I’ve covered some crazy stories.
“Look at this, two stupid robots sitting in front of a dumb movie.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Dr. Who and the Daleks.
“London isn’t international. It’s just in a different country.”
The first riff from RiffTrax Presents: Devil Girl From Mars.
“My hand! I needed that to feel up 7 of 9.”
Star Trek Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Dark Future.
PixTrax: “They’ve found a Metroid save point.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: Cyborg Cop 2.
“An Australian guy with a knife. Man, I just wish I could think of a reference here, guys. Coming up blank.”
This Crocodile Dundee reference pulled from RiffTrax: Cyber Tracker.
PixTrax: “Hey, this would make a good Star Trek set.”
Star Trek PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax Presents: Cat-Women of the Moon.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Living Post Apocalypse” Sketch
Mike: The upside to living post apocalypse? No Rachel Ray.
“Pretty pompous for a guy who spent five years masturbating into a pillow.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Battle for the Lost Planet.
“Hey, when super monsters attack you’re going to lose some kids to the rodents.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Attack of Super Monsters.
“I know we’re under siege guys, but you still got to get your Q/A audits done by six.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: Attack From Space.
PixTrax: “Apologies in advance if I call you ‘Worf.'”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax Presents: Amanda and the Alien.
Nick Nolte Moment From Alien Outlaw
Bill: Nick Nolte’s mountain home.
“Don’t get your hopes up guys. It’s Canadian stripping. She changes into a snowmobile suit.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe.
“Next, on ‘America’s Funniest Dimensional Transporter Bloopers.'”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Prisoners of the Lost Universe.
“‘Alien Car Wreckers’ this fall on the History Channel. Hell, we’ll show anything.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Alien Outlaw.
“‘Oh Yor,’ Wednesday nights after ‘Hello Larry.'”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Yor Hunter From the Future.
“The director challenged them to walk less naturally than Rod from Birdemic.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Dark Future.
“Well, somehow the spruce bark beetles are to blame.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Star Games.
“What it would look like if NASA had hired James Nguyen to fake the moon landing instead of Kubrick.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Battle for the Lost Planet.
Riff & React: “There’s just nothing wrong with shooting a few damn birds.”
Movie: There’s just nothing wrong with shooting a few damn birds.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Diving Scenes’ First Cousin” Sketch
Kevin: And here comes driving scenes’ first cousin, carefully signaling and turning into a parking lot scene.
“Silent nod of respect from James Nguyen for these driving and parking scenes.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Killers in Space.
Riff & React: “Don’t you get it, you’re a dreamer.”
Movie: Don’t you get it, you’re a dreamer.
“Omus’ robots. Writing the words of a sermon that no one will hear. Robots comes near.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Shape of Things To Come.
“Why don’t you vaporize me in the road?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Battlefield Earth.
“Turn me on, dead man. Turn me on, dead man. Turn me on.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Killers From Space.
“Ladies and gentlemen, The Beatles: John, Paul, George, and Summlaxadork.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Starship Troopers.
Riff & React: Mike & Missile to the Moon – Three Riffer Edition
Movie: It seems their troubles began about twenty years ago.
Riff & React: Kevin & Planet of Dinosaurs
Movie: Navigation, where are we?
Riff & React: Mike & The Return
Movie: I’m not used to lady scientists running through the streets of my little town.
Riff & React: Mike & Dinosaurus
Movie: I have found a caveman.
Riff & React: Kevin & Cyborg Cop 2
Movie: What about the constitution?
Riff & React: Bill & Missile to the Moon – Three Riffer Edition
Movie: A wedding that will follow an event in the extermination chamber.
Riff & React: Mike & Yesterday’s Target
Movie: Is there a pharmacy around here?
Riff & React: Mike & Prisoners of the Lost Universe
Movie: I thought you were about to suffer a fate worse than death.
Riff & React: Bill & The Dark
Movie: This channel sucks.
Riff & React: Matthew & Assignment: Outer Space
Movie: I have never felt so lonely.
Riff & React: Janet & Dreamscape
Movie: They’re getting progressively worse.
Riff & React: Bill & The Journey: Absolution
Movie: Why the hell are you here, boy!?! Why!?!
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Last Woman On Earth
Movie: In a couple of days the stench alone will choke us.
“‘It was worth a try,’ Golden Corral’s old slogan? Nobody would believe that?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Oblivion 2: Backlash.
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By The Return
Movie: Dog, bite whatever it is or shut up.
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Dark Future
“‘What is this place? Just shut up.’ Golden Corral’s new slogan.” Golden Corral’s new slogan pulled from RiffTrax: Dark Future.
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Contamination
“Golden Corral’s new slogan.”
“Golden Corral’s New Slogan” Served By Yor, The Hunter From the Future
Movie: Why did you come to this land of death?
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Starship Invasions
Movie: Please don’t die. It’s really good for you. Please eat it.
“Golden Corral’s New Slogan” Served By RiffTrax: Star Games
Movie: Don’t swallow. Don’t swallow. Just chew.
PixTrax: “The Journey and Boston album covers are at war.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: Star Games.
PixTrax: “If you stare into it long enough you join Emerson, Lake and Palmer.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: The Return.
“So they all have regrettable Star Wars tattoos. Who cares?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Yesterday’s Target.
“So, is he a padawan learner or a stormtrooper? These Star Wars Blu-rays are really confusing.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Warriors of the Wasteland.
“Ah, Luke is here to free Leia and Han from—I’m kidding. It’s a barely disguised Jaime Pressly.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Journey: Absolution.
“I got metachorlreians coming out of my ass, I tells ya.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Supersonic Man.
“You call that a hyperdrive? I’ve seen more torque on a BB-8.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Star Games.
“They did it. They invented a kid more annoying then Jake Lloyd. I didn’t think it was possible.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Firehead.
PixTrax: “R2 fell in with some bad droids.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: Dr. Who: Daleks – Invasion Earth: 2150 A.D.
“Someday, with any luck, I’ll be ‘Grand Moff’ of a place like this.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Dr. Who and The Daleks.
“Yeah, it’s a bit late to start dropping fourth-rate Han Solo quips, pal.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Cyber Tracker.
“Hey, a stormtrooper finally hit somebody.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Battlefield Earth.
“This excitement is what Star Wars failed to deliver by not showing Luke picking up the power converters at Tosche Station.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Attack From Space.
PixTrax: “Welcome to Skywalker Ranch.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Alien Outlaw.
“147 parsecs!?! Han Solo could have made the Kessel Run 12 times by now.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe.
“A Joshua Tree! Look out for stray Bonos!”
First riff from RiffTrax: Killers From Space.
Sketches and Speeches: “The Jesse Ventura Sketch”
Mike: Guys, I’m not sure what’s coming but this music is getting me pretty pumped up about it.
PixTrax: “Vacuum cleaners of the gods.”
First riff from RiffTrax: Supersonic Man.
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