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…Because some Riffs have it coming!

Category: Science Fiction

Written by RifftraxJanuary 19, 2021January 20, 2021

“Don’t get your hopes up guys. It’s Canadian stripping. She changes into a snowmobile suit.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe.

Written by RifftraxDecember 17, 2020December 30, 2020

“Next, on ‘America’s Funniest Dimensional Transporter Bloopers.'”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Prisoners of the Lost Universe.

Written by RifftraxDecember 16, 2020December 11, 2020

“‘Alien Car Wreckers’ this fall on the History Channel. Hell, we’ll show anything.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Alien Outlaw.

Written by RifftraxDecember 13, 2020December 11, 2020

“‘Oh Yor,’ Wednesday nights after ‘Hello Larry.'”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Yor Hunter From the Future.

Written by RifftraxNovember 27, 2020November 25, 2020

“The director challenged them to walk less naturally than Rod from Birdemic.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Dark Future.

Written by RifftraxNovember 26, 2020November 25, 2020

“Well, somehow the spruce bark beetles are to blame.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Star Games.

Written by RifftraxNovember 21, 2020November 21, 2020

“What it would look like if NASA had hired James Nguyen to fake the moon landing instead of Kubrick.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Battle for the Lost Planet.

Written by RifftraxNovember 18, 2020November 13, 2020

Riff & React: “There’s just nothing wrong with shooting a few damn birds.”

Movie: There’s just nothing wrong with shooting a few damn birds.

Written by RifftraxNovember 9, 2020November 9, 2020

Sketches & Speeches: The “Diving Scenes’ First Cousin” Sketch

Kevin: And here comes driving scenes’ first cousin, carefully signaling and turning into a parking lot scene.

Written by RifftraxNovember 3, 2020November 2, 2020

“Silent nod of respect from James Nguyen for these driving and parking scenes.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Killers in Space.

Written by RifftraxOctober 30, 2020October 1, 2020

Riff & React: “Don’t you get it, you’re a dreamer.”

Movie: Don’t you get it, you’re a dreamer.

Written by RifftraxOctober 13, 2020October 1, 2020

“Omus’ robots. Writing the words of a sermon that no one will hear. Robots comes near.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Shape of Things To Come.

Written by RifftraxOctober 12, 2020October 1, 2020

“Why don’t you vaporize me in the road?”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Battlefield Earth.

Written by RifftraxOctober 10, 2020October 1, 2020

“Turn me on, dead man. Turn me on, dead man. Turn me on.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Killers From Space.

Written by RifftraxOctober 1, 2020October 1, 2020

“Ladies and gentlemen, The Beatles: John, Paul, George, and Summlaxadork.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Starship Troopers.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 30, 2020September 30, 2020

Riff & React: Mike & Missile to the Moon – Three Riffer Edition

Movie: It seems their troubles began about twenty years ago.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 27, 2020September 24, 2020

Riff & React: Kevin & Planet of Dinosaurs

Movie: Navigation, where are we?

Written by RifftraxSeptember 26, 2020September 24, 2020

Riff & React: Mike & The Return

Movie: I’m not used to lady scientists running through the streets of my little town.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 22, 2020September 15, 2020

Riff & React: Mike & Dinosaurus

Movie: I have found a caveman.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 21, 2020September 15, 2020

Riff & React: Kevin & Cyborg Cop 2

Movie: What about the constitution?

Written by RifftraxSeptember 15, 2020September 10, 2020

Riff & React: Bill & Missile to the Moon – Three Riffer Edition

Movie: A wedding that will follow an event in the extermination chamber.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 11, 2020September 11, 2020

Riff & React: Mike & Yesterday’s Target

Movie: Is there a pharmacy around here?

Written by RifftraxSeptember 8, 2020September 10, 2020

Riff & React: Mike & Prisoners of the Lost Universe

Movie: I thought you were about to suffer a fate worse than death.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 7, 2020September 1, 2020

Riff & React: Bill & The Dark

Movie: This channel sucks.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 6, 2020September 1, 2020

Riff & React: Matthew & Assignment: Outer Space

Movie: I have never felt so lonely.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 4, 2020September 1, 2020

Riff & React: Janet & Dreamscape

Movie: They’re getting progressively worse.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 3, 2020September 1, 2020

Riff & React: Bill & The Journey: Absolution

Movie: Why the hell are you here, boy!?! Why!?!

Written by RifftraxAugust 30, 2020August 5, 2020

Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Last Woman On Earth

Movie: In a couple of days the stench alone will choke us.

Written by RifftraxAugust 27, 2020August 4, 2020

“‘It was worth a try,’ Golden Corral’s old slogan? Nobody would believe that?”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Oblivion 2: Backlash.

Written by RifftraxAugust 23, 2020August 4, 2020

Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By The Return

Movie: Dog, bite whatever it is or shut up.

Written by RifftraxAugust 22, 2020August 4, 2020

Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Dark Future

“‘What is this place? Just shut up.’ Golden Corral’s new slogan.” Golden Corral’s new slogan pulled from RiffTrax: Dark Future.

Written by RifftraxAugust 17, 2020August 17, 2020

Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Contamination

“Golden Corral’s new slogan.”

Written by RifftraxAugust 9, 2020August 4, 2020

“Golden Corral’s New Slogan” Served By Yor, The Hunter From the Future

Movie: Why did you come to this land of death?

Written by RifftraxAugust 6, 2020August 4, 2020

Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Starship Invasions

Movie: Please don’t die. It’s really good for you. Please eat it.

Written by RifftraxAugust 2, 2020August 4, 2020

“Golden Corral’s New Slogan” Served By RiffTrax: Star Games

Movie: Don’t swallow. Don’t swallow. Just chew.

Written by RifftraxJune 20, 2020June 17, 2020

PixTrax: “The Journey and Boston album covers are at war.”

PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: Star Games.

Written by RifftraxJune 18, 2020June 17, 2020

PixTrax: “If you stare into it long enough you join Emerson, Lake and Palmer.”

PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: The Return.

Written by RifftraxMay 30, 2020May 25, 2020

“So they all have regrettable Star Wars tattoos. Who cares?”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Yesterday’s Target.

Written by RifftraxMay 27, 2020May 16, 2020

“So, is he a padawan learner or a stormtrooper? These Star Wars Blu-rays are really confusing.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Warriors of the Wasteland.

Written by RifftraxMay 21, 2020May 16, 2020

“Ah, Luke is here to free Leia and Han from—I’m kidding. It’s a barely disguised Jaime Pressly.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Journey: Absolution.

Written by RifftraxMay 19, 2020May 16, 2020

“I got metachorlreians coming out of my ass, I tells ya.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Supersonic Man.

Written by RifftraxMay 18, 2020May 16, 2020

“You call that a hyperdrive? I’ve seen more torque on a BB-8.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Star Games.

Written by RifftraxMay 13, 2020May 13, 2020

“They did it. They invented a kid more annoying then Jake Lloyd. I didn’t think it was possible.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Firehead.

Written by RifftraxMay 11, 2020May 11, 2020

PixTrax: “R2 fell in with some bad droids.”

PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: Dr. Who: Daleks – Invasion Earth: 2150 A.D.

Written by RifftraxMay 10, 2020May 2, 2020

“Someday, with any luck, I’ll be ‘Grand Moff’ of a place like this.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Dr. Who and The Daleks.

Written by RifftraxMay 8, 2020May 9, 2020

“Yeah, it’s a bit late to start dropping fourth-rate Han Solo quips, pal.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Cyber Tracker.

Written by RifftraxMay 4, 2020May 2, 2020

“Hey, a stormtrooper finally hit somebody.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Battlefield Earth.

Written by RifftraxMay 3, 2020May 1, 2020

“This excitement is what Star Wars failed to deliver by not showing Luke picking up the power converters at Tosche Station.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Attack From Space.

Written by RifftraxMay 2, 2020May 1, 2020

PixTrax: “Welcome to Skywalker Ranch.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Alien Outlaw.

Written by RifftraxMay 1, 2020May 1, 2020

“147 parsecs!?! Han Solo could have made the Kessel Run 12 times by now.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe.

Written by RifftraxMarch 31, 2020March 30, 2020

“A Joshua Tree! Look out for stray Bonos!”

First riff from RiffTrax: Killers From Space.

Written by RifftraxMarch 16, 2020March 5, 2020

Sketches and Speeches: “The Jesse Ventura Sketch”

Mike: Guys, I’m not sure what’s coming but this music is getting me pretty pumped up about it.

Written by RifftraxMarch 15, 2020March 1, 2020

PixTrax: “Vacuum cleaners of the gods.”

First riff from RiffTrax: Supersonic Man.

Written by RifftraxMarch 13, 2020March 1, 2020

PixTrax: “Presents the name that shocked the spelling world.”

First riff from RiffTrax: Cyborg Cop 2.

Written by RifftraxMarch 11, 2020March 5, 2020

Sketches and Speeches: “The Signal Lamp Sketch.”

Mike: A signal lamp trying to tell us something. Kevin, please decode.

Written by RifftraxMarch 5, 2020March 5, 2020

Speeches & Sketches: “The Betty Columbia Speech.”

“Hi, guys. Betty Columbia here. Welcome to the show.

Written by RifftraxJanuary 19, 2020December 2, 2019

Sketches & Speeches: “The Ed McMahon Serious Threat Sketch”

Bill: These aliens move like barges. They’re too slow to be a serious threat.

Written by RifftraxJanuary 18, 2020December 2, 2019

Sketches & Speeches: “The Andromeda Strain/Alien Sketch”

Mike: Hey, you got your Andromeda Strain in my Alien.

Written by RifftraxJanuary 14, 2020January 14, 2020

Sketches & Speeches: “The Missal to the Moon Sketch”

Bill: So, um, they’re referring to a rocket, right, and not ‘missal’ as in the Catholic prayer book?

Written by RifftraxJanuary 12, 2020December 2, 2019

Sketches & Speeches: “The Horse Racing Sketch”

Janet: And straight out of the gate it’s Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah with a strong lead followed by Baby Got Back and Precious Moments, and Scarface, Wobble Maker, and Beep-Bop-Boo bringing up the rear.

Written by RifftraxJanuary 2, 2020January 2, 2020

Sketches & Speeches: Bill Corbett’s “How Do I Know This You Ask Speech”

“How do I know this you ask?  I’m in a bowling league with Starman.

Written by RifftraxDecember 30, 2019January 2, 2020

Sketches & Speeches: “The We Are Destroying Sketch”

Movie: Destroy! Destroy them!

Written by RifftraxDecember 26, 2019December 26, 2019

RiffList: “Dave Ryder Nicknames”

Lump Drywall

Written by RifftraxDecember 1, 2019November 29, 2019

Sketches & Speeches: “The Christmas Nostalgia Sketch”

Bill: Yeah, gotta admit guys all this tender Christmas nostalgia is kinda getting to me.

Written by RifftraxNovember 22, 2019November 6, 2019

PixTrax: “Can you confirm my resemblance to Sam Elliott, over?”

RiffTrax: Warriors of the Wasteland

Written by RifftraxNovember 20, 2019November 6, 2019

“She can ‘John’ my ‘Pertwee’ anytime.”

RiffTrax: Dr. Who and The Daleks

Written by RifftraxNovember 6, 2019November 5, 2019

PixTrax: “How can I fit more 2s on my hat?”

RiffTrax: Contamination

Written by RifftraxNovember 5, 2019November 4, 2019

“I could be banging Marvin the Martian’s wife right now.”

RiffTrax: Feeders

Written by RifftraxNovember 1, 2019October 30, 2019

“They ventured across the galaxy to tease our cats!”

RiffTrax: The Visitor

Written by RifftraxOctober 20, 2019August 17, 2019

“Dying is easy. Interesting Martian dramas are hard.”

RiffTrax Presents: Devil Girl From Mars

Written by RifftraxOctober 11, 2019October 11, 2019

“Your hair is even hockey-er than I remember.”

RiffTrax Live: Time Chasers

Written by RifftraxOctober 4, 2019August 15, 2019

“Rutherford B. Hayes gets a lap dance.”

RiffTrax Live: Space Mutiny

Written by RifftraxSeptember 21, 2019September 10, 2019

RiffTrax Tracks: “Cyborg Cop Flashdance”

RiffTrax: Cyborg Cop

Written by RifftraxSeptember 14, 2019August 11, 2019

RiffTrax Track: “Music Montage”

RiffTrax: Outlaw Alien

Written by RifftraxSeptember 8, 2019August 7, 2019

RiffTrax Tracks: “Clouds and Cities”

RiffTrax: Julie and Jack

Written by RifftraxSeptember 5, 2019August 7, 2019

RiffTrax Tracks: “In A Lost Universe With You”

RiffTrax: Prisoners of the Lost Universe

Written by RifftraxJuly 28, 2019July 27, 2019

PixTrax: “Rush hour in Barstow.”

RiffTrax: Missle to the Moon – Three Riffer Edition

Written by RifftraxJuly 27, 2019June 19, 2019

PixTrax: “Neil deGrasse Tyson just tweeted that these names are scientifically implausible.”

RiffTrax: Starship Invasions

Written by RifftraxJuly 17, 2019July 10, 2019

PixTrax: “Mark David Chapman just hanging outside the Dakota. Cool.”

RiffTrax: Starship Invasion

Written by RifftraxJuly 14, 2019July 13, 2019

PixTrax: “Repairs to Snoop Dog’s bong continue.”

RiffTrax Presents: Warning From Space

Written by RifftraxJuly 10, 2019July 10, 2019

PixTrax: “Look at all the controls. How do they keep track of everything?”

RiffTrax: Plan Nine From Outer Space  

Written by RifftraxJuly 4, 2019June 14, 2019

PixTrax: “Rosie the Riveter is looking rough.”

RiffTrax: Yesterday’s Target

Written by RifftraxJune 30, 2019June 25, 2019

“On the upside we’ll save hundreds on our gravy bills.”

RiffTrax: Plan 9 From Outer Space

Written by RifftraxJune 30, 2019June 18, 2019

“Hey! C’mon! We’re death robots. We’re overclocked as it is. “

RiffTrax: Neutron The Atomic Superman vs. Death Robots

Written by RifftraxJune 28, 2019June 18, 2019

“Dressing like a Starksy and Hutch extra finally broke him.”

RiffTrax: The Dark

Written by RifftraxJune 22, 2019June 18, 2019

“Tongue my girlfriend. Eat Cheetos. It’s all good.”

RiffTrax Presents: Cat-Women of the Moon

Written by RifftraxJune 21, 2019June 14, 2019

“C’mon! Brokeback Mountain had less fanny packing than this movie?”

RiffTrax: Cyborg Cop 2

Written by RifftraxJune 20, 2019June 14, 2019

“I’m gonna go do levy town.”

RiffTrax: Plan 9 From Outer Space

Written by RifftraxJune 18, 2019June 14, 2019

“Good idea waiting until night. I always think NASA is daft launching rockets in the day when space isn’t there yet.”

RiffTrax Presents: Flight to Mars

Written by RifftraxJune 17, 2019June 14, 2019

“Now we can’t use our televiser to watch The Tonighter Show.”

RiffTrax: Plan Nine From Outer Space

Written by RifftraxJune 15, 2019June 14, 2019

“You know what they say, leg health starts at the crotch.”

RiffTrax: Cyber Tracker

Written by RifftraxJune 15, 2019June 14, 2019

“Advice for anyone touching anything that’s been inside Daniel Baldwin: never touch anything that’s been inside Daniel Baldwin.”

RiffTrax: Yesterday’s Target

Written by RifftraxJune 14, 2019June 14, 2019

“‘Guys Talking in Drab Rooms’ magazine gave this film five stars.”

RiffTrax: Killers from Space

Written by RifftraxJune 13, 2019June 8, 2019

“Erich Von Daniken’s Cocktail Shakers of the Gods.”

RiffTrax Presents: Warning From Space

Written by RifftraxJune 11, 2019June 7, 2019

“Out of the way. We’re henchmen. We have important henching to do.”

RiffTrax Live: Time Chasers

Written by RifftraxJune 11, 2019June 11, 2019

“Yes, could you please say ‘skin of the plane’ one thousand percent less.”

RiffTrax Live: Time Chasers

Written by RifftraxJune 10, 2019June 7, 2019

“Wow, I guess that sectional sofa dry-hump was better than it looked.”

RiffTrax: Replica

Written by RifftraxJune 7, 2019June 6, 2019

“Damn, it’s already planet o’clock.”

RiffTrax Live: Star Raiders

Written by RifftraxMay 26, 2019June 7, 2019

“Try not to think about our 36th president saying ‘bunghole.'”

RiffTrax: The Astro-Zombies  

Written by RifftraxMay 24, 2019June 7, 2019

“Also, what human being would ever say a sentence like: ”He grows organic apples which I buy from him?'”

RiffTrax: Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe

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