Sketches & Speeches: “The I’m Gonna Come Back and Haunt You, Okay? Speech”
“Ohai Mark. Hai Denny. Hai Lisa.
Category: Just The Jokes
“Even in death he smells of expired buttermilk.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Room.
“The unspecified banking industry has just been hell lately.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Room.
“I’m pretty sure your boyfriend is a dried apple in a wig.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Room.
“This is all wrong. This isn’t how people play football. Where’s the tuxes?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Room.
“In terms of erotic moments, this rates right in between Craig Stadler’s win at the ’82 Masters and President Taft’s inauguration.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Room.
“Oh baby, talk naughty to me in an incomprehensible accent.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Room.
“Hot chocolate and a mint tea, are you guys headed to Lilithfair?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Room.
“Not like jean jackets, man. Jean jackets make total sense to me.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Room.
“He’s like Richard Nixon setting up the Watergate recordings only not as sexy.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Room.
“It is pretty customary to buy your mother-in-law’s friend a house.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Room.
“I think I broke me underwears.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Room.
“Sorry guys, I miss read the email. Thought we were meeting on the fake roof not the fake alley.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Room.
“Gentlemen, please. I am wearing a beanie!”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Room.
“Yeah, and that’s why Russel Stover was just drowning in poon.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Room.
“My banking shirt. I need that for banking.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Room.
Riff & React: “If you love me you’ll drink this.”
Movie: If you love me you’ll drink this.
“Ah yes, Dominos’ I-was-born-without-taste-buds special.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Room.
Sketches & Speeches: “The Efficient Sex Scene Sketch”
Kevin: Now, why can’t the sex scenes be that efficient?
“Just sitting next to a framed picture of a spoon.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Room.
“How did he get this rose to smell like old cat food?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Room.
“Who sets their alarm for 28 minutes past the hour?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Room.
Sketches & Speeches: “The Poor Usher Sketch”
Mike: Man, poor usher, huh?
“Poor kid, has to do homework instead of watching his gross neighbors bone like most kids.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Room.
“Wait! There’s a second The Room upstairs? I’m confused already.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Room.
“As soon as I brillo off the residue of that kiss.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Room.
PixTrax: “Our story begins in an unidentified city.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Room.
“And we’re back.”
First riff from RiffTrax: The Room.
Keep Rolling! 
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