“‘Beneath the grotto’ is also where I’m gonna need you to focus my sponge bath.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Frankenstein Island.
Category: RiffTrax Movies
“I’m horny but not ‘me so horny.'”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Fist of Fury.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Estonia” Sketch
Kevin: What do we want?
“This screenplay broke the world record for the use of the word ‘lumbering.'”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Final Justice.
“Stupid non-Wings Hauser actor. Why aren’t you Wings Hauser? God, I miss Wings Hauser. Now, that man can microwave a croissant.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Fever Lake.
“He spends more time in the basement than the New York Jets.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Feeders 2: Slay Bells.
“The art department nailed what I thought her closet would look like.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Feeders.
“Fear, my reaction to new ideas and surroundings.”
The First Riff from RiffTrax Presents: Fear.
“Welcome to Waldrick, a tiny country bordered by Fredonia, Gilder, and the Duchy of Grand Fenwick.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Fangs of the Living Dead.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Guy From That Terrible Star Trek Movie” Sketch
Bill: Help! That guy from that terrible Star Trek movie is grabbing us.
Riff & React: Kevin & Dragon Wars: D-War
Movie: I’ve covered some crazy stories.
“Look at this, two stupid robots sitting in front of a dumb movie.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Dr. Who and the Daleks.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Power Corp” Sketch
Movie: In other news, a plane containing medical supplies exploded last night and authorities believe it’s the work of the Power Corp.
“I shouldn’t do it, but how many people can ever say they had sex with a dinosaur?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Dinosaurus.
“Live Chinese and krill comedy! Come see the very best in Chairman Mao impressions and crawfish anecdotes.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Death Promise.
“‘Action International,’ parent company to ‘Romantic Comedy Regional.'”
The first riff from RiffTrax: Deadly Prey.
“Ah, the California Angels. Such an uncomplicated, natural sounding team name. I hope it never changes.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Day of the Animals.
“My hand! I needed that to feel up 7 of 9.”
Star Trek Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Dark Future.
PixTrax: “They’ve found a Metroid save point.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: Cyborg Cop 2.
“An Australian guy with a knife. Man, I just wish I could think of a reference here, guys. Coming up blank.”
This Crocodile Dundee reference pulled from RiffTrax: Cyber Tracker.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Doesn’t This Director Know How To Make A Horror Movie?” Speech
“Come on, this is ridiculous. Doesn’t this director know how to make a horror movie?
“Hey, please don’t insult the puss-filled eggs by comparing them to Coors Light.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Contamination.
“That was one wild night—drank a bottle of Old Grand-dad, smoked a packed of cigarettes, and studied plankton till dawn.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The City of the Dead.
“Whoa! A face like a squid’s anus.”
Riff pulled from Christmas with RiffTrax: Santa’s Village of Madness.
“The doughnuts give me the husky energy I need.”
Riff pulled from Christmas with RiffTrax featuring Magic Christmas Tree.
“He was kinda the Pete Best of the group.”
The Beatles riff pulled from RiffTrax: Charade.
“These two can’t stand each other, but they put it aside for the love of the dredging.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Carnival of Souls.
PixTrax: “Suddenly, out of nowhere, Duane Allman appeared.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: Buffalo Rider.
“The worst complaint of all is Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo wasn’t long enough.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Breaker! Breaker!
“This is already totally wrong. Nothing like how Brainic looks in the Superman Comics. Good job, Hollywood. I’m taking this to the forums.”
The first riff from RiffTrax: Brainiac.
Sketches & Speeches: The “This Is Boston” Speech
“Please, gentlemen. This is Boston. Can’t we fight over something civilized like Deflategate or whether the Dropkick Murphys kind of suck?”
Sketches & Speeches: The “Hey, Raul” Speech
“Raul. Hey, Raul. This has been bugging me. What was the name of the chick who played the daughter on Alf? Raul? Can you hear me? Daughter on Alf? Yeah, you’re no use.”
“Oh Ellen, thank you for being brave enough to give people like the Kardashians some attention.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Blood Theater.
PixTrax: “Alright, first off let me just explain how I got Timothy B. Schmidt’s hair.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: Birdemic: Shock and Terror.
“Hey, tell them what you’re going to growl. Growl. Then tell them what you growled.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Berserker: Hell’s Warrior.
“Those windows lack basic energy efficiency measures such as seals.”
Birdemic Callback pulled from RiffTrax: Beaks.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Living Post Apocalypse” Sketch
Mike: The upside to living post apocalypse? No Rachel Ray.
“Pretty pompous for a guy who spent five years masturbating into a pillow.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Battle for the Lost Planet.
“Hey, when super monsters attack you’re going to lose some kids to the rodents.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Attack of Super Monsters.
“See, I may be holding you against your will, but I don’t fib about beddy-bye.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Attack of the Puppet People.
“I know we’re under siege guys, but you still got to get your Q/A audits done by six.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: Attack From Space.
“Remember our safe word is ‘spider daddy.'”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Ator, The Fighting Eagle.
Sketches & Speeches: “The Blood Exchanger Sketch”
Bill: We have a blood exchanger?
Nick Nolte Moment From Arachnia
Kevin: Oh, it’s Nick Nolte’s summer place.
Nick Nolte Moment From Alien Outlaw
Bill: Nick Nolte’s mountain home.
PixTrax: “Man, they really Nabooed the hell out of her, didn’t they?”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: Aladdin.
“Don’t get your hopes up guys. It’s Canadian stripping. She changes into a snowmobile suit.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe.
PixTrax: “It just dawned on him that he has history’s worst soul patch.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: A Talking Cat!?!
PixTrax: “Buff Hayden Christensen.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: 1990: Bronx Warriors.
Sketches & Speeches: “The El Paso Sketch”
Kevin: This looks vaguely familiar. Oh right, my vacation footage from when I went to hell.
RiffTrax: A To Z (Currently on the Letter F)
All through 2021… pulling one riff from every RiffTrax offering!
“Next week on ‘Elderly Women Rummaging Through Things.'”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Stitches.
“‘Crowbar Hunter’ a new series on the Learning Channel.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Giant From the Unknown.
“And now back to the ‘Real World: Nilbog.'”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Troll 2.
“But don’t go anywhere, the World Series of Marbles is up next.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Spiker.
“‘That’s Our Bruce,’ Fridays at eight.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Fist of Fury.
PixTrax: “Walker, Texas Eavesdropper.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: Breaker! Breaker!
“Tonight on ‘House Hunters After Dark.'”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Room.
“‘Three Nuns and a Little Dragon,’ Fridays on ABC.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Super Mario Bros.
PixTrax: “We now return to ‘The Adventures of Young John Cleese.'”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: Robo Vampire.
“‘One Guy Eats While Two Other Guys Watch’ will return after this.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Grizzly.
“Next, on ‘America’s Funniest Dimensional Transporter Bloopers.'”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Prisoners of the Lost Universe.
“‘Alien Car Wreckers’ this fall on the History Channel. Hell, we’ll show anything.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Alien Outlaw.
“‘Police Academy 14’ direct to Pluto TV.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Martial Law.
“‘Douche Bottle and Skank,’ this fall on TNT.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Laser Mission.
“‘Oh Yor,’ Wednesday nights after ‘Hello Larry.'”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Yor Hunter From the Future.
Riff & React: Kevin & Fever Lake
Movie: The evil is coming.
“Next week on ‘Law and Order: Dumpster Pusher Unit.'”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The House On Sorority Row.
“Law and Order: Teen Interrogation Unit.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Last Slumber Party.
“Tonight on ‘Law and Order: Special Outfits Unit.'”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Superargo and the Faceless Giants.
“Law and Order: Heavy Petting Unit.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: “MANOS” The Hands of Fate.
“Satan talks to Mona, tonight on ‘Who’s The Boss?'”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Dark.
“We now return to ‘Robert Z’Dar Puts On A Lab Coat and Makes a Grilled Cheese’ already in progress.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Godmonster of Indian Flatts.
“And now back to this week’s episode of ‘Hi Honey, I’m Homo Erectus.'”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Dinosaurus!
“Coming soon to ABC, ‘Extreme Home Invasion Makeover.’ They’re going to threaten your life and critique your wood paneling.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Samurai Cop.
“‘Cat Lover and The Software Salesman,’ this fall on the CW.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Birdemic: Shock and Terror.
“It’s a wacky comedy about how she was shot in the head, so she moves to L.A. and gets a job on a small TV news station.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Sisters of Death.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Bird Plague Movie” Sketch
Mike: I just don’t understand how we’re this far into a bird plague movie with no discussion of stock options.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Mass Solar” Sketch
Bill: About my new company, Mass Solar.
“The director challenged them to walk less naturally than Rod from Birdemic.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Dark Future.
“The high society equivalent of ‘uhh, I hear a mountain lion.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Power.
Riff & React: “Bigfoot was forced to retreat deeper into the timberlands.”
Movie: Bigfoot was forced to retreat deeper into the timberlands.
“Well, somehow the spruce bark beetles are to blame.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Star Games.
“No wait—that’s a bark beetle infestation.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Icebreaker.
“Spruce bark beetles. I’d know their foul handiwork anywhere.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Grizzly.
“I see a mountain lion. I got to get back to my house. You better get back to your car.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Day of the Animals.
“Oh, I hear a mountain lion!”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Blood Theater.
“Sorry, I thought I saw a spruce bark beetle.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Berserker: Hell’s Warrior.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Tree-Hugger Guy” Sketch
Bill: I hear a mountain lion.
“Ot-oh, we got a Birdemic situation. She’s going to Becky-it up out there.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Grizzly.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Becky In Birdemic” Speech
Mike: Just a warning, Jack’s weeping at Julie’s grave is even more emotional than when the eagles killed Becky in Birdemic.
“This makes the Half Moon Bay Art and Pumpkin Festival look like a trip to Disneyland.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Rollergator.
“What it would look like if NASA had hired James Nguyen to fake the moon landing instead of Kubrick.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Battle for the Lost Planet.
Riff & React: “Ten million dollars.”
Movie: Ten million dollars.
“Yo, slowly pull in and park this baby Birdemic-style. Word to your mother.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Cool as Ice.
Riff & React: “There’s just nothing wrong with shooting a few damn birds.”
Movie: There’s just nothing wrong with shooting a few damn birds.
“Rest of the movie is her picking up Rod from Birdemic and comparing their Mustangs’ mpg.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Astro Zombies.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Young James Nguyen” Sketch
Bill: Okay, it’s not a coat hanger but it’s very close.
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