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…Because some Riffs have it coming!

Category: RiffTrax Shorts

Written by RifftraxFebruary 23, 2020February 7, 2020

“The Macarena starts arm out palm down, Callahan. You’re off the force!”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman Vs. The Wizard (Episode 14)

Written by RifftraxFebruary 22, 2020February 13, 2020

PixTrax: “Ikea’s new Kevorkian chair.”

PixTrax captured from RiffTrax Shorts: Robin Rescues Batman (Episode 5).

Written by RifftraxFebruary 21, 2020February 7, 2020

“Batman and Robin presumed dead or squatting.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman’s Last Chance (Episode 10).

Written by RifftraxFebruary 20, 2020February 7, 2020

“Splendid! Care for some tweed?”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman: Robin’s Wild Ride (Episode 3).

Written by RifftraxFebruary 19, 2020February 13, 2020

PixTrax: “How Apple wants you to see your year-old iPhone.”

PixTrax captured from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman Victorious (Episode 15).

Written by RifftraxFebruary 18, 2020February 13, 2020

“I hear Batman doesn’t like green beans. You guys ever hear that?”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman: Target Robin (Episode 6).

Written by RifftraxFebruary 17, 2020February 7, 2020

“‘Unseen’ like A Million Ways to Die in the West.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman Vs. The Wizard (Episode 14).

Written by RifftraxFebruary 16, 2020February 16, 2020

“I once broke into his garage and ate a bag of his potting soil.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman’s Last Chance (Episode 10).

Written by RifftraxFebruary 15, 2020April 20, 2020

Sketches & Speeches: “The Much More Discrete Sketch”

Kevin: This is much more discrete then simply walking to the rendezvous point.

Written by RifftraxFebruary 14, 2020February 14, 2020

“Hand stamp undamaged—good! Sorry CBGB, The Wizard only pays one cover charge.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman Vs. The Wizard (Episode 14).

Written by RifftraxFebruary 13, 2020February 14, 2020

“I drank too much Moxie on the way here. I’m going to find a tinkle bush.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman: The Wizard’s Challenge (Episode 13).

Written by RifftraxFebruary 12, 2020February 14, 2020

“I just want to forget you saying the phrase ‘wizard placenta.'”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman: Robin Rides the Wind (Episode 12).

Written by RifftraxFebruary 11, 2020February 14, 2020

“Also, Batman smells like Aspercreme.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman: Robin’s Ruse (Episode 11).

Written by RifftraxFebruary 10, 2020February 14, 2020

“I’m starting to think I can’t trust this known super villain associater.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman’s Last Chance (Episode 10).

Written by RifftraxFebruary 9, 2020February 3, 2020

“I want your insight as a dissipated gadabout.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts:  Batman: The Wizard Strikes Back (Episode 9).

Written by RifftraxFebruary 8, 2020February 7, 2020

“There they go. John Goodman’s dirty undies.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman: Robin Meets the Wizard! (Episode 8).

Written by RifftraxFebruary 7, 2020February 6, 2020

“I feel like even more of a douche smoking one of these and I’m already Robin.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman: The Fatal Blast (Episode 7).

Written by RifftraxFebruary 6, 2020February 13, 2020

“It’s the museum of lame gang names.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman: Target Robin (Episode 6).

Written by RifftraxFebruary 5, 2020February 3, 2020

“Now we can make our own table salt instead of buying it like suckers.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Robin Rescues Batman (Episode 5).

Written by RifftraxFebruary 4, 2020February 3, 2020

“Gross. It’s full of sexy The Penguin ladies Halloween costumes.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman Trapped! (Episode 4).

Written by RifftraxFebruary 3, 2020February 3, 2020

“But I’m late for my Louis Nye resembling lesson.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman: Robin’s Wild Ride (Episode 3).

Written by RifftraxFebruary 2, 2020February 3, 2020

“The cliffs of Gotham. This city’s got it all.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman: Tunnel of Terror (Episode 2).  

Written by RifftraxFebruary 1, 2020February 3, 2020

“First, I’m going to make Bill O’Reilly and Shaquille O’Neal kiss.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Batman Takes Over (Episode 1).

Written by RifftraxJanuary 27, 2020December 2, 2019

Sketches & Speeches: “The What’s Crack? Sketch”

Bill: What’s a crack? Is it a baby?

Written by RifftraxJanuary 24, 2020December 11, 2021

Sketches & Speeches: Mike Nelson’s “I Must Toil Speech”

“Sure sounds like some other kids are having fun outside,

Written by RifftraxJanuary 23, 2020December 2, 2019

Sketches & Speeches: “The Bruce Springsteen’s Trailer Sketch”

Bill: Bruce Springsteen lives in a construction trailer?

Written by RifftraxJanuary 21, 2020November 23, 2019

Sketches & Speeches: Bridget Nelson’s “Mosh Pit Etiquette Speech”

“In the event of mosh pit, the boy pushes the girl from the back by the hips into the middle of the crowd. Or the girl holds tightly to the boy’s waist as he throws punches. Mosh pit etiquette calls for certain considerations that mean more fun for everyone. A courteous boy always picks up […]

Written by RifftraxDecember 23, 2019November 12, 2019

RiffTrax Tracks: “O Come, All Ye Pretty Woman”

RiffTrax Shorts: Santa Claus’ Workshop

Written by RifftraxDecember 21, 2019November 18, 2019

“For instance, did you know that Santa did a nickel in Greenville for check kiting?”

RiffTrax Shorts: A Visit to Santa

Written by RifftraxDecember 19, 2019November 29, 2019

Sketches & Speeches: “The Guy from Simply Red Speech”

Kevin: On the right there, is that the guy from Simply Red?

Written by RifftraxDecember 16, 2019November 13, 2019

‘Very gradual teleportation is one of Santa’s lesser known powers.”

RiffTrax Shorts: Santa Claus’ Punch and Judy

Written by RifftraxDecember 15, 2019November 13, 2019

RiffTrax Tracks: “Christmas Dream”

RiffTrax Shorts: A Christmas Dream

Written by RifftraxDecember 14, 2019November 17, 2019

“Merry Christmas, you bunch of scramblepusses!”

RiffTrax Shorts: Gifts from the Air

Written by RifftraxDecember 13, 2019December 13, 2019

Sketches & Speeches: Kevin Murphy’s “Third Runner-Up” Speech

“And now, the third runner-up in our Christmas diorama contest this year.

Written by RifftraxDecember 11, 2019December 11, 2019

“You can’t have any goose though, Tim. Just your usual cripple’s gruel.”

RiffTrax Shorts: A Christmas Carol (Coronet)

Written by RifftraxDecember 5, 2019November 9, 2019

“You know, I don’t approve of toys building other toys. It’s an unholy abomination.”

RiffTrax Live: Christmas Shorts-Stravaganza!

Written by RifftraxDecember 4, 2019November 9, 2019

“Don’t give your elf Viagra.”

RiffTrax Shorts: The Shoemaker and the Elves

Written by RifftraxDecember 3, 2019November 10, 2019

“Each year, countless children are taken by hobos and forced into a life of Christmas caroling. This is just one story.”

RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: Charlie’s Christmas Secret

Written by RifftraxNovember 28, 2019November 28, 2019

Sketches & Speeches: “The Thanksgiving Carols Sketch”

Kevin: Ah, Thanksgiving carols. I remember going door-to-door singing carols in exchange for turkey.

Written by RifftraxNovember 27, 2019November 11, 2019

PixTrax: “Thanksgiving is a Native American word meaning obscenely tall candles?”

RiffTrax Shorts: Dining Together

Written by RifftraxNovember 26, 2019November 26, 2019

“Next, pause movie, google ‘What the heck are giblets?,’ let the truth sink in, and continue with disgusted face.”

RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: Let’s Talk Turkey

Written by RifftraxNovember 25, 2019November 10, 2019

“It was the best of turkeys, it was the worst of turkeys.”

RiffTrax Shorts: One Turkey, Two Turkey

Written by RifftraxNovember 24, 2019November 6, 2019

“Modern plunger theory alone has become practically byzantine.”

RiffTrax Shorts: Color It Clean

Written by RifftraxNovember 23, 2019November 6, 2019

“Tell Barney Rubble his wife’s hot.”

RiffTrax Shorts: Dinosaurs

Written by RifftraxNovember 13, 2019November 5, 2019

“What will it be gents? Harvey Wallbanger? Tequila Sunrise? Brass Monkey? Fuzzy Navel? Hop, Skip, and Tumble Backwards Over an Ottoman?

RiffTrax Shorts: Alcohol

Written by RifftraxNovember 11, 2019November 5, 2019

“Stay tuned for Walter Cronkite’s erotic yoga.”

RiffTrax Shorts: Beginning Responsibility: Getting Ready for School

Written by RifftraxNovember 8, 2019November 5, 2019

“Can you marry beer?”

RiffTrax Shorts: As We Like It

Written by RifftraxNovember 3, 2019October 31, 2019

“We both poop in a box on the floor.”

RiffTrax Shorts: Kitty Cleans Up

Written by RifftraxOctober 24, 2019August 24, 2019

“I’m just a man with a burning desire to try on the dress shirts of other men.”

RiffTrax Shorts: A Day with Fireman Bill

Written by RifftraxOctober 19, 2019August 17, 2019

“Disposing of the script for ‘Paul Blart III: Trouble in Fart City.'”

RiffTrax Shorts: The Litter Monster

Written by RifftraxOctober 7, 2019October 8, 2019

“Don’t you think it’s weird that we have to undress for social studies?”

RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: The Troublemaker

Written by RifftraxAugust 31, 2019July 7, 2019

“Dropping fecal revenge on all who’ve wronged you.”

RiffTrax Shorts: Busy Bodies

Written by RifftraxAugust 29, 2019July 7, 2019

“It looks like a hotel room that got trashed by The Decemberists.”

RiffTrax Shorts: Setting Up A Room

Written by RifftraxAugust 28, 2019July 7, 2019

“Sorry baby, I can’t hold you. I’m living a lifestyle.”

RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: American Look

Written by RifftraxAugust 27, 2019August 27, 2019

“You inconsiderate slumper.”

RiffTrax Shorts: Health: Your Posture

Written by RifftraxAugust 26, 2019August 26, 2019

“Jeff Dunham’s ‘Manson Family.'”

RiffTrax Shorts: Rediscovery: Puppets  

Written by RifftraxAugust 25, 2019July 7, 2019

“I can’t believe she’s flirting with a gastropod.”

RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: Ladybug, Ladybug, Winter Is Coming

Written by RifftraxAugust 24, 2019August 24, 2019

“Bill and Frank roll on Shabbos?”

RiffTrax Shorts: You’re The Judge

Written by RifftraxAugust 23, 2019August 23, 2019

“Hey, don’t be stingy with the Desitin.”

RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: The Babysitter

Written by RifftraxAugust 22, 2019August 22, 2019

“From the book ‘101 Devastating Press Agent Burns.'”

RiffTrax Shorts: How to Keep A Job  

Written by RifftraxAugust 21, 2019August 21, 2019

“Clearly you’ve never seen the back of Fran Drescher’s toilet.”

RiffTrax Shorts: Ghost Rider  

Written by RifftraxAugust 20, 2019July 7, 2019

“No, they’re mixing border collie in with the organic and yard waste.”

RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: Harry the Dirty Dog

Written by RifftraxAugust 19, 2019August 19, 2019

“‘Soapy The Germ Fighter,’ worst X-Men ever.”

RiffTrax Shorts: Soapy The Germ Fighter (Live Edition)  

Written by RifftraxAugust 18, 2019August 19, 2019

“Amniotic wet look is so hot this year.”

RiffTrax Shorts: Farm Animals

Written by RifftraxAugust 17, 2019August 17, 2019

“The first time I saw this I actually wanted to be a strung out holstein.”

RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: Farm Family in Winter

Written by RifftraxAugust 16, 2019August 17, 2019

“Mama needs her Samoas.”

RiffTrax Shorts: At Your Fingertips: Floats (Live Edition)

Written by RifftraxAugust 15, 2019July 7, 2019

“As your milkman, I’m ashamed of you.”

RiffTrax: Measuring Man

Written by RifftraxAugust 14, 2019August 14, 2019

“I’ll go back to the future, but I’m not touching his McFly.”

RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: My Mother Was Never A Kid

Written by RifftraxAugust 13, 2019August 13, 2019

“Ah, she’s stepping on Dame Judi Dench’s head.”

RiffTrax Shorts: Toes Tell/Whose Shoes

Written by RifftraxAugust 12, 2019August 14, 2019

“Well, at least this is ink that’s not being used to draw the Family Circus.”

RiffTrax Shorts: Drawing for Beginners: The Triangle

Written by RifftraxAugust 11, 2019August 14, 2019

“Soaping the lumpy area where my wang should be.”

RiffTrax Shorts: Clean and Neat with Harv and Marv

Written by RifftraxAugust 10, 2019July 7, 2019

“A seven means a lizard-dimension ruled by gecko Roseanne Barr.”

RiffTrax Shorts: Measure Metric

Written by RifftraxAugust 9, 2019June 25, 2019

“Why won’t the kids today eat Waldorf salads?”

RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: Girls are Better Than Ever

Written by RifftraxAugust 8, 2019August 8, 2019

“I hope I dream of crackers.”

RiffTrax Shorts: Tommy’s Day  

Written by RifftraxAugust 7, 2019July 7, 2019

“Get your little secret away from him.”

RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: The Boy Who Didn’t Listen

Written by RifftraxAugust 6, 2019June 25, 2019

“Lecture Cops this fall on TNT.”

RiffTrax Shorts: Ten Long Minutes

Written by RifftraxAugust 5, 2019July 7, 2019

“I call this ‘Kinder Angst in Blue with Orange Mistake.'”

RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: What Mary Jo Shared

Written by RifftraxAugust 4, 2019August 7, 2019

“Never ask a Deadhead their favorite version of ‘Dark Star.'”

RiffTrax Shorts: Warty, The Toad

Written by RifftraxAugust 3, 2019July 7, 2019

“He looks like if Ted Knight and Martin Landau had a 55-year-old baby.”

RiffTrax Shorts: On Guard – Bunco!

Written by RifftraxAugust 2, 2019June 25, 2019

“I’m going to beat you guys in painting.”

RiffTrax Shorts: Beginning Responsibility: Doing Things For Ourselves in School

Written by RifftraxAugust 1, 2019June 25, 2019

Mary Jo: “Here comes her partner. The word is they are going to attempt the double Duran Duran.” Bridget: “That’s right. In this case, a Duran Duran Duran Duran “

RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: Flash That Smile            

Written by RifftraxJune 7, 2019June 6, 2019

“Chub. Chub. Chub.”

RiffTrax Shorts: Values: Telling The Truth (Live)

Written by RifftraxMay 28, 2019August 7, 2019

“Okay, by show of hands who was expecting to see a bag give birth tonight?”

RiffTrax Live: Summer Shorts Beach Party!

Written by RifftraxMay 12, 2019June 7, 2019

“Golda Meir sold Tupperware?”

RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: Wonderful World of Tupperware

Written by RifftraxMay 8, 2019June 7, 2019

“Rebooting the ovarian operating system.”

RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: Naturally a Girl

Written by RifftraxMay 2, 2019June 7, 2019

“Blowing for Beginners: Horns.”

RiffTrax Shorts: Drawing for Beginners: The Triangle

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