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…Because some Riffs have it coming!

Category: Kevin Murphy

Written by RifftraxNovember 30, 2022December 1, 2022

Riff & React: Kevin & Why Vandalism?

Movie: What about the church?

Written by RifftraxNovember 26, 2022December 1, 2022

“And a young, sand-hating Anakin Skywalker starts down a path that will inevitably lead him down the dark side of the playground.”

Star Wars Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: When Should Grown-ups Stop Fights?

Written by RifftraxNovember 24, 2022November 29, 2022

Sketches & Speeches: The “Poems About Nature” Sketch

Bill: Too bad there are no good poems about nature.

Written by RifftraxNovember 19, 2022November 29, 2022

“No, I can’t pay you in doobage.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: What It Means to Be An American (Part 2).

Written by RifftraxNovember 16, 2022November 29, 2022

“Also, Radio with Cuba Gooding Jr. is pretty skippable.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: What is a Map?

Written by RifftraxNovember 12, 2022November 29, 2022

Riff & React: Kevin & What About Juvenile Delinquency?

Movie: We’ll see him in the morning at school when we give this to him.

Written by RifftraxNovember 11, 2022November 29, 2022

“Speaking of a nuclear dump, the coffee’s kicking in. I’ll be right back.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Wes Craven’s Mind Ripper.

Written by RifftraxNovember 9, 2022November 29, 2022

“Norman seems like the kind of guy who would wish Selena Gomez a happy birthday on Twitter.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Welcome Back, Norman.

Written by RifftraxNovember 5, 2022November 29, 2022

“Scorpion and Little kid will return in Scorpion and the Little Kid Go Hawaiian.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Warriors of the Wasteland.

Written by RifftraxOctober 29, 2022October 28, 2022

“Just gathering some after dinner roundworms and blood flukes.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Vision in the Forest.

Written by RifftraxOctober 27, 2022October 26, 2022

Riff & React: Kevin & Mike & Vengeance of the Dead

Movie: I figure I’ll bring back a pizza for supper.

Written by RifftraxOctober 26, 2022October 26, 2022

“That President Nixon is a real cool cat.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Velvet Smooth.

Written by RifftraxOctober 20, 2022October 19, 2022

Riff & React: Kevin & Universal Soldier II: Brother In Arms

Movie: Police today are still on the lookout for Veronica Roberts

Written by RifftraxOctober 17, 2022October 18, 2022

“Resist the temptation to stick your wiener in the Addressograph.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: U.S. Elections: How We Vote.

Written by RifftraxOctober 16, 2022October 18, 2022

“Though Bill does stand alone on his main issue, people should be allowed to marry cows.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Tuesday in November.

Written by RifftraxOctober 11, 2022October 10, 2022

“They look hungry. Maybe we should show them a cartoon?”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Toyland.

Written by RifftraxOctober 6, 2022October 6, 2022

Riff & React: Kevin & Total Riff Off Episode 4: Man V. Monster

Movie: I could soon be face-to-face with a monster.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 30, 2022September 29, 2022

“You know, if she didn’t do all this crap maybe she wouldn’t have grandma toes.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Toes Tell/Whose Shoes?

Written by RifftraxSeptember 27, 2022September 27, 2022

“They are running out of rhymes, they’ll have to go with Peter Tork.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Three Magic Words.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 24, 2022September 24, 2022

“The number one and number two reasons for missed baseball games: Tommy John surgery and bracket repair.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Things Are Different Now.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 22, 2022September 20, 2022

“You know, of all the things I thought we’d see in this movie, the deflowering of a camping stove is not one of them”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Wonderful Land of Oz.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 19, 2022September 20, 2022

“No one’s home. Time for some trademark Glen Ford skinny dipping. Just got to sunscreen-up the Glen Ford junk.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Visitor.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 14, 2022September 15, 2022

“Now there are tampons in the cigarette machine.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Trouble With Women.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 11, 2022August 31, 2022

“But then I remembered Chuck is a heroin addict. Our supply was probably where it always was in the bag labeled heroin right in the cabinet labeled heroin.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Terrible Truth.

Written by RifftraxSeptember 10, 2022August 10, 2022

Sketches & Speeches: The “Talking Cat!?!” Sketch

Kevin: The talking cat!?!

Written by RifftraxSeptember 5, 2022August 10, 2022

“These two are about as covert as a pride parade.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Sons of Hercules: Land of Darkness.

Written by RifftraxAugust 29, 2022August 1, 2022

“I should warn you, my pants have a touch of Lycra for an easy feel.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Retrievers.

Written by RifftraxAugust 27, 2022August 1, 2022

“So, she’s just going to sit there in the duck urine?”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Red Hen.

Written by RifftraxAugust 24, 2022August 1, 2022

“The door just opened and now it smells like Bela Lugosi in here. I’m sure it’s nothing.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Phantom Creeps.

Written by RifftraxAugust 20, 2022August 2, 2022

“What child wouldn’t want a swan replica?”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Night Before Christmas.

Written by RifftraxAugust 18, 2022August 2, 2022

“I’m going with ‘D’ because ‘Bedonger’ is a hilarious name.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Mysterious Message.

Written by RifftraxAugust 16, 2022July 27, 2022

“Hey, if you come across Matthew Fox and Evangeline Lilly, run. They’re just making it up as they go.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Most Dangerous Game.

Written by RifftraxAugust 12, 2022July 24, 2022

“Watching one pool through another pool—this world is very pool-based.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Magic Sword.

Written by RifftraxAugust 10, 2022July 24, 2022

Sketches & Speeches: The “Piltdown Man” Sketch

Mike: Whoa, he went there.

Written by RifftraxAugust 9, 2022August 1, 2022

“All cartoons led me to believe that long underwear with butt flaps would be a bigger part of my life.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Little King: Christmas Night.

Written by RifftraxAugust 6, 2022July 21, 2022

“‘That’s My Severed Trachea.’ This fall on TBS. Very funny.”

Television Teaser pulled from RiffTrax: The Last Slumber Party.

Written by Andy BondJuly 31, 2022July 21, 2022

“You know, first rule of good-guying, never let the villain dictate your quip game.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Journey: Absolution.

Written by RifftraxJuly 28, 2022July 21, 2022

PixTrax: “Wow, the inner tube under your pants look was huge in the sixties.”

PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Hothead / The Forgetter.

Written by RifftraxJuly 26, 2022July 27, 2022

Riff & React: Kevin & The Hideous Sun Demon

Movie: Now, we know that each individual goes through this evolutionary process before he is born.

Written by RifftraxJuly 24, 2022July 24, 2022

Sketches & Speeches: The “We Can Go Have Sex” Sketch

Kevin: We can go have sex.

Written by RifftraxJuly 22, 2022July 17, 2022

“She’s like Sgt. Shultz but with a better midriff.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Girl from Rio.

Written by RifftraxJuly 19, 2022July 14, 2022

“Finally, all the fun of looking at a fish tank without having to actually look at a fish tank.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The Fish That Nearly Drowned.

Written by RifftraxJuly 16, 2022July 14, 2022

“Did we order an ass?”

Riff pulled from The Film Crew: Hollywood After Dark.

Written by RifftraxJuly 12, 2022July 11, 2022

“Oddball times like 5 quirky and 17 o’clock.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Dark Power.

Written by RifftraxJuly 4, 2022June 20, 2022

“Always have to take an elective before you begin Jedi training.”

Star Wars Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Bride and the Beast.

Written by RifftraxJune 21, 2022June 14, 2022

“’Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel’ is the greatest film of all-time.”

The First Riff from RiffTrax: The Alien Dead.

Written by RifftraxJune 19, 2022June 14, 2022

“Holy crap, Inglewood likes to compost!”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: The ABC of Walking Wisely.

Written by RifftraxJune 17, 2022June 14, 2022

Sketches & Speeches: The “Nick Swardson” Sketch

Kevin: There’s no high hat. Where am I?

Written by RifftraxJune 15, 2022June 14, 2022

“This looks like a job for my lemon bar recipe.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Telephone for Help.

Written by RifftraxJune 11, 2022June 3, 2022

“Oh, I know this place. When I was a kid we called this ‘Swamp of the Ravens’ which was obviously stupid because these birds are buzzards. Ha. Ha. Stupid kids who luckily don’t title movies.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Swamp of the Ravens.

Written by RifftraxJune 8, 2022June 2, 2022

Riff & React: Kevin & Super Mario Bros.

Movie: This pit hole. Germs everywhere. Fungus.

Written by RifftraxJune 5, 2022June 2, 2022

“The Doom engine from 1993 is super cinematic.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Suburban Sasquatch.

Written by RifftraxMay 30, 2022May 29, 2022

“There was a sale on Go-GURT this week. We’re going to be rich.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Stone Cold.

Written by RifftraxMay 29, 2022May 24, 2022

“Very few know of the dark and evil powers of concentrated 7-Up.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Stitches

Written by RifftraxMay 26, 2022May 29, 2022

Sketches & Speeches: The “Which Brian?” Sketch

Kevin: Which Brian? I’m lost and I’m a Brian.

Written by RifftraxMay 23, 2022March 29, 2022

“Critics agree, no movie has more incoherent bus chatter than Spiker.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Spiker.

Written by RifftraxMay 18, 2022May 30, 2022

“No, it was the constant scarecrow cosplay that worried them.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Soapy The Germ Fighter (Live Edition).

Written by RifftraxMay 13, 2022March 17, 2022

“Tool Sheds Enterers, this fall on Nat Geo Channel.”

Television Teaser pulled from RiffTrax: Sisters of Death.

Written by RifftraxMay 12, 2022March 17, 2022

“Anybody need anything Walked or Texas ranged?”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Silent Rage.

Written by RifftraxMay 10, 2022March 15, 2022

“I hope you kids like Scotch.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Shy Guy.

Written by RifftraxApril 20, 2022March 8, 2022

Sketches & Speeches: The “Family’s Domestic Love and Bliss” Sketch

Mike: Alright, I’ve seen a lot of movies and I can tell you exactly where this is going.

Written by RifftraxApril 19, 2022March 7, 2022

“Oh knee buttons, will you ever bring me peace?”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Santa’s Summer House.

Written by RifftraxApril 16, 2022March 18, 2022

“And the children are thrown into a frenzy not seen since Stravinsky debuted The Rite of Spring.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Santa Claus’ Punch and Judy.

Written by RifftraxApril 12, 2022March 4, 2022

Sketches & Speeches: The “Narrating Another Woman” Sketch

Kevin: That night, mother found out father had been narrating another woman.

Written by RifftraxApril 7, 2022March 2, 2022

“Young Bruce Springsteen, you stop running right now. And no, you are not born to do it, mister.”

Rock ‘n’ Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Safe Living at School.

Written by RifftraxApril 6, 2022March 1, 2022

“I think I ruptured my bowl full of jelly.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.

Written by RifftraxApril 3, 2022February 28, 2022

RiffTrax Tracks: “We Accept The Challenge”

“We Accept The Challenge” pulled from RiffTrax: Rock ‘n’ Roll Nightmare.

Written by RifftraxApril 1, 2022February 27, 2022

“Judson Landis will collaborate anything if the price is right. He’s a collabo-whore.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Right or Wrong?

Written by RifftraxMarch 27, 2022February 27, 2022

“A Plymouth Reliant shot through a chain link fence? Dial back the visual splendor please!”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Time Chasers.

Written by RifftraxMarch 21, 2022February 23, 2022

Riff & React: Kevin & RiffTrax Live: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians

Movie: I never saw such lazy people.

Written by RifftraxMarch 18, 2022February 23, 2022

Riff & React: Kevin & RiffTrax Live: Samurai Cop

Movie: Feel like somebody stuck a big club up my ass and it hurts.

Written by RifftraxMarch 17, 2022February 23, 2022

“Or my name isn’t the Dad from Alf.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Reefer Madness.

Written by RifftraxMarch 16, 2022February 21, 2022

“Attention aliens, will you leave if we give you Shirley MacLaine?”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Plan 9 From Outer Space.

Written by RifftraxMarch 15, 2022February 21, 2022

PixTrax: “Hey, it’s the director.”

PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax Live: Octaman.

Written by RifftraxMarch 14, 2022February 21, 2022

Sketches & Speeches: The “Zombies Reminiscing” Sketch

Bill: Meanwhile the zombies are out there drinking PBR and reminiscing

Written by RifftraxMarch 12, 2022February 21, 2022

Sketches & Speeches: The “Dragon Sound and Friendship For Life” Sketch.

Kevin: Well, that’s it. I’m burning all my Beatles albums. Dragon Sound and friendship for life. Yeah!

Written by RifftraxMarch 11, 2022February 21, 2022

Riff & React: Kevin & RiffTrax Live: Jack the Giant Killer

Movie: We have plans to make. The dawn comes much too soon.

Written by RifftraxMarch 9, 2022February 21, 2022

RiffTrax Tracks: “Fish Licker”

“Fish Licker” pulled from RiffTrax Live: Hobgoblins.

Written by RifftraxMarch 4, 2022March 4, 2022

Sketches & Speeches: The “Castlefield” Sketch

Mike: Castleton college?

Written by RifftraxFebruary 27, 2022February 23, 2022

“I don’t think we can survive on boogers.”

Riff pulled from Holiday From Rules.

Written by RifftraxFebruary 25, 2022February 18, 2022

Nick Nolte Moment From Halloween Safety 2: Even Safer

Kevin: Hey, Nick Nolte!?!

Written by RifftraxFebruary 21, 2022February 28, 2022

RiffTrax Tracks: “Don’t You Bastards Try To Ski”

“Don’t You Bastards Try To Ski” pulled from RiffTrax: Copper Mountain.

Written by RifftraxFebruary 16, 2022February 6, 2022

RiffTrax Track: “Clockwise (Number #9)”

The Beatles RiffTrax Track pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Rhythmic Ball Skills.

Written by RifftraxFebruary 15, 2022February 5, 2022

“All my best teachers stood six inches from my face and whispered their lessons creepily in my ear.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Retro Puppet Master.

Written by RifftraxFebruary 11, 2022February 11, 2022

“Your name is Dog Balls McQuack?”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Remember Me.

Written by RifftraxFebruary 7, 2022February 1, 2022

Riff & React: Kevin & Reading: Who needs it?

Movie: And I don’t need no English.

Written by RifftraxFebruary 3, 2022February 4, 2022

“Keep Rolling” From Rats: Night of Terror

Mike: Opps. Scrolling text missed its cue.

Written by RifftraxFebruary 2, 2022February 8, 2022

PixTrax: “I write Drupal code.”

PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: Radical Jack.

Written by RifftraxFebruary 1, 2022January 27, 2022

“And I do mean crawl. You see folks, I’m secretly a baby.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: R.O.T.O.R.

Written by RifftraxJanuary 30, 2022January 27, 2022

RiffTrax Tracks: “Truck Driving Blues”

“Truck Driving Blues” pulled from RiffTrax: Psychotronic Man.

Written by RifftraxJanuary 28, 2022January 26, 2022

Sketches & Speeches: The “Gary Gygax” Sketch

Mike: Hey, I just got a note from the ghost of Gary Gygax.

Written by RifftraxJanuary 26, 2022January 24, 2022

“I hear the name Ruth G. Strickland and I imagine Donald Rumsfeld in drag.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Prickly the Porcupine.

Written by RifftraxJanuary 25, 2022January 24, 2022

“How much do you know about Vermont’s cheddar mining industry?”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Pressure Point.

Written by RifftraxJanuary 23, 2022January 22, 2022

“We need the movie in our monitors.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Play Safe (Live Edition).

Written by RifftraxJanuary 21, 2022January 21, 2022

“I’m sorry, but I really can’t tolerate any non erection-based lighting systems at the moment.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Plankton.

Written by RifftraxJanuary 19, 2022January 18, 2022

“Mary Appleseth wanted top billing but got crushed by the powerful Derna Wylde publicly machine.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Planet of Dinosaurs.

Written by RifftraxJanuary 18, 2022January 17, 2022

Sketches & Speeches: The “Citizen Kane of Bad Movies” Sketch

Mike: And here we go with the Citizen Kane of bad movies.

Written by RifftraxJanuary 14, 2022January 13, 2022

“Sounds like ‘Tom’s Diner’ as performed by John Cage.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: People Soup.

Written by RifftraxJanuary 10, 2022January 8, 2022

“Look at that, poor kid’s addicted to sandwich fumes.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Paper and I.

Written by RifftraxJanuary 3, 2022January 5, 2022

“The good, the bad, and the straight to video.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Oblivion 2: Backlash.

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