“Yeah, yum-yum my goodies, you mush-mouth creep.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: A Visit to Santa.
Category: Kevin Murphy
“Dick, you’re going to die in Korea.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: A Day of Thanksgiving.
“Though, the elephant poop shoveler is thinking about leaving show business.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: A Circus Wakes Up.
Sketches & Speeches: “The Cut-Off Lyric Sketch”
Bill: The cut-off lyric posits the theory that a heavy plum pudding diet was why Batman smelled–edited out on threat of a lawsuit.
“But how will I watch the woman next store vacuum?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: A Case of Spring Fever.
“Damn it. I swore I’d never watch ‘Two Woodchucks One Hole.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: A Badger’s Bad Day.
Sketches & Speeches: “The El Paso Sketch”
Kevin: This looks vaguely familiar. Oh right, my vacation footage from when I went to hell.
“‘Crowbar Hunter’ a new series on the Learning Channel.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Giant From the Unknown.
“But don’t go anywhere, the World Series of Marbles is up next.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Spiker.
Riff & React: Kevin & Santa’s Space Ship
Movie: The only time you can do it is the night before Christmas.
“Tonight on ‘House Hunters After Dark.'”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Room.
“‘One Guy Eats While Two Other Guys Watch’ will return after this.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Grizzly.
“‘Alien Car Wreckers’ this fall on the History Channel. Hell, we’ll show anything.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Alien Outlaw.
Riff & React: Kevin & Fever Lake
Movie: The evil is coming.
“Law and Order: Teen Interrogation Unit.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Last Slumber Party.
“And now back to this week’s episode of ‘Hi Honey, I’m Homo Erectus.'”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Dinosaurus!
“It’s a wacky comedy about how she was shot in the head, so she moves to L.A. and gets a job on a small TV news station.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Sisters of Death.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Mass Solar” Sketch
Bill: About my new company, Mass Solar.
“The director challenged them to walk less naturally than Rod from Birdemic.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Dark Future.
“I see a mountain lion. I got to get back to my house. You better get back to your car.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Day of the Animals.
“Oh, I hear a mountain lion!”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Blood Theater.
“Ot-oh, we got a Birdemic situation. She’s going to Becky-it up out there.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Grizzly.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Becky In Birdemic” Speech
Mike: Just a warning, Jack’s weeping at Julie’s grave is even more emotional than when the eagles killed Becky in Birdemic.
“What it would look like if NASA had hired James Nguyen to fake the moon landing instead of Kubrick.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Battle for the Lost Planet.
“Yo, slowly pull in and park this baby Birdemic-style. Word to your mother.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Cool as Ice.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Rod From Birdemic” Sketch
Kevin: This feels like Rod Sterling should step out and do a monologue.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Young James Nguyen” Sketch
Bill: Okay, it’s not a coat hanger but it’s very close.
“I’ve always wondered what Platoon would have been like if James Nguyen had directed it.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Deadly Prey.
PixTrax: “James Nguyen’s Hell’s Angels brother.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: Sunset Strip.
Sketches & Speeches: The “James Nguyen Trucker Picture” Sketch
Mike: This scene of an 18-wheeler slowly starting and pulling away guest directed by James Nguyen.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Diving Scenes’ First Cousin” Sketch
Kevin: And here comes driving scenes’ first cousin, carefully signaling and turning into a parking lot scene.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Directed By Mr. James Nguyen” Sketch
Mike: Parking scene guest directed by Mr. James Nguyen.
Sketches & Speeches: The “James Nguyen’s Taxi Driver” Sketch
Mike: James Nguyen’s Taxi Driver.
“Rowing and docking. This was directed by Norseman James Nguyen.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Berserker: Hell’s Warrior.
“Finally, a movie that does for aimless scuba diving what Birdemic did for gradual driving and parking.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Bermuda Triangle.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Our First Birdemic” Sketch
Kevin: Ot-oh, she’s going to pull a Becky on the beach.
Sketches & Speeches: “The Imagine Sketch”
Bill: Is the soundtrack trying to become John Lennon’s “Imagine” or am I just a dreamer?
Riff & React: “Don’t you get it, you’re a dreamer.”
Movie: Don’t you get it, you’re a dreamer.
“Everyone is losing their minds just like when The Beatles played Mrs. Peterson’s third period study hall.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Lovely But Deadly.
Riff & React: “So Mark, how do you feel about putting some board breaking into the act?”
Movie: So Mark, how do you feel about putting some board breaking into the act?
“Hey guys, guys. Hey, let’s do the Abbey Road thing, guys. Guys? Come on.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: No Retreat, No Surrender.
“Sir George Martin, we get it. You produced The Beatles. Do something this century.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Magic Sword.
“As you are he and we are all together. Goo goo g’joob.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: If Mirrors Could Speak.
PixTrax: “Sam is the Katzman. Yeah, he’s the Katzman.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Voodoo Man.
“Why don’t you vaporize me in the road?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Battlefield Earth.
Riff & React: “Close your eyes.”
Movie: Close your eyes.
PixTrax: “Oh no, hillbilly John Lennon is robbing a bank.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: Light Blast.
PixTrax: “Sgt. Pepper’s Foxy Hearts Club Band.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Wonderful Land of Oz.
“Ladies and gentlemen, The Beatles: John, Paul, George, and Summlaxadork.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Starship Troopers.
Riff & React: Kevin & Planet of Dinosaurs
Movie: Navigation, where are we?
Riff & React: Kevin & Hillbillys in a Haunted House
Movie: It’s so elegant.
Riff & React: Kevin & Martial Law 2
Movie: So, who’s the new girl?
Riff & React: Kevin & Cyborg Cop 2
Movie: What about the constitution?
Riff & React: Kevin & Zombie: I Eat Your Skin
Movie: Please don’t touch it.
Riff & React: Kevin & Lovely But Deadly
Movie: And now it’s time for Captain Magic to show you how he got his name.
Riff & React: Kevin & The Dark Power
Ms. Dalton: Mr. Girard, what are you doing here?
Riff & React: Kevin & 1990: Bronx Warriors
Movie: Hey, one more step and you’re dead.
Riff & React: Kevin & Tourist Trap
Movie: Feels like flesh.
Riff & React: Kevin & Blood Theatre
Movie: What did we do to deserve to be sent to this pit?
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Ice Cream Man
Mike: Golden Corral’s new slogan—ah dang, I can’t quite make that work.
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By The Incredible 2-Headed Transplant
“‘I’m hungry, imbecile.’ Golden Corral’s new slogan.”
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Son of Sinbad… Again!
Movie: If this doesn’t kill them, the smell will.
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Dark Future
“‘What is this place? Just shut up.’ Golden Corral’s new slogan.” Golden Corral’s new slogan pulled from RiffTrax: Dark Future.
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Night of the Yellow Beast
Movie: Come now, it’s good meat. Probably better than anything you ever tasted. Eat, my boy.
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Contamination
“Golden Corral’s new slogan.”
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Velvet Smooth
Movie: I never expect anything.
“Golden Corral’s New Slogan” Served by I Believe in Santa Claus
Movie: I can’t wait a few hours. I’m hungry.
“Golden Corral’s New Slogan” Served By Giant From The Unknown
Movie: This is a bad place for you to be. Only evil can come through here.
“Golden Corral’s New Slogan” Served By RiffTrax: Suburban Sasquatch
Movie: I can’t tell what it is from here, but you’ll have its head on a platter by nightfall.
Sketches & Speeches: “Not Golden Corral’s New Slogan Sketch”
Bill: Golden Corral, your favorite dinning establishment.
Sketches & Speeches: “The Army of Ziggys Sketch”
Bill: Man, I just realized he’s making an army of Ziggys.
“Hauled away, humiliated and wet, like every time I visit Applebee’s.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.
“I love you. Here’s a pressure cooker.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Christmas Customs Near and Far.
“Ah, garage chess, the best kind of chess.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Santa’s Summer House.
“Okay look, play God all you want but leave the Ed Grimley dancing out of it.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Santa and the Fairy Snow Queen.
Sketches & Speeches: “The Polonia Brothers Erotica Sketch”
Kevin: Oh yes. Soap up there, mustache. That’s how Kevie likes it.
“Kids love it when furries have labor disputes.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Santa’s Village of Madness.
“I don’t know. I don’t think, say Carl Reiner, has a lot of growing up to do.”
Carl Reiner March 20, 1922 – June 29, 2020
“Fake Roger Daltrey is just pissed because she stepped on his chance to do a ‘meet the new boss, same as the old boss’ thing.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Apple.
“Well, his hatred of doors is nothing compared to my hatred of The Doors.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Tourist Trap.
Sketches & Speeches: “The Emerson, Lake and Palmer Song Is Trying to Start Sketch”
Mike: An Emerson, Lake and Palmer song is trying to start!
“Glen Danzig will watch you bathe outdoors. Just try our new service. Get 15 percent off your first order with discount code ‘Glen Danzig will watch you bathe outdoors.'”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Berserker: Hell’s Warrior.
Sketches & Speeches: “The Boys Sketch”
Mike: Maybe these are “The Boys?”
“It looks like a hotel room that got trashed by The Decemberists.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Setting Up A Room.
PixTrax: “Someday, Pink Floyd will record a song about this.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: Maniac.
“Patty Smyth is pissed. She’s going to shoot at them like they’re the walls of heartache.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Bounty Tracker.
“We’ll go our own way per Fleetwood Mac’s advice.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Girl from Rio.
Sketches & Speeches: “The Are You Ready To Rock Sketch”
Kevin: Are you ready to rock?
“So they all have regrettable Star Wars tattoos. Who cares?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Yesterday’s Target.
“I assume for 1930s audiences seeing this pack of dogs on screen was the equivalent of a hundred Death Stars.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Most Dangerous Game.
“Always have to take an elective before you begin Jedi training.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Bride and The Beast.
“You call that a hyperdrive? I’ve seen more torque on a BB-8.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Star Games.
Sketches & Speeches: “The Undramatic Digital Fantasy Effects Sketch”
Kevin: So, at what age do you stop being interested in really undramatic digital fantasy effects?
“Ohh, this one’s big enough to tauntaun.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Deadly Prey.
“They can’t fix the bike until their nephew returns with some power converters.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Cool as Ice.
“Hey, a stormtrooper finally hit somebody.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Battlefield Earth.
“The unspecified banking industry has just been hell lately.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Room.
“This is all wrong. This isn’t how people play football. Where’s the tuxes?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Room.
“Oh baby, talk naughty to me in an incomprehensible accent.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: The Room.
