“Every kitchen needs an Andy Warhol installation.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: Campbell’s Soup: The Magic Shelf.
Category: RiffTrax Presents
PixTrax: “Bryan Ferry and Bruce Dern: mad scientists.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax Presents: Bridget and Mary Jo’s Halloween Safety and Monster Movie Mash-up.
“This Amazonian rainforest heat calls for a wool pashmina.”
Riff pulled RiffTrax Presents: Bride of the Gorilla.
“So, you want to hear about the new Lean Cuisine I had today?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: Boredom At Work.
“It’s like if Tim Tebow had decided to suck at rapping instead of football.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: Bicycle Safety Camp.
“Flu shots and then cocktails.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: Beyond Christmas.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Daughter-In-Law” Sketch
Mary Jo: Bridget, did your daughter-in-law deep clean and redecorate your house on her honeymoon?
PixTrax: “Me on my way to work at The Limited.”
Riff pulled RiffTrax Presents: Baby of the Bride.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Hunch Might Be At The Cleaners” Sketch
Ian: I think his hunch might be at the cleaners.
“How many steps did we get in? Enough to go to Chili’s?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: Angels’ Revenge.
“Well, if anyone knows anything about design it’s the makers of the Chevette.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: American Look
PixTrax: “Apologies in advance if I call you ‘Worf.'”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax Presents: Amanda and the Alien.
“Aw, crap. Doc Severinsen is in our ceiling joist.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: A Word To The Wives.
“I wonder if she’s regretting the lip tattoo?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: A Very Merry Riff-mas (with Bridget and Mary Jo).
“Hey, keep it down! We just got the baby Jesus to sleep.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: The Blessed Midnight.
PixTrax: “Nickelodeon’s ‘Eyes Wide Shut.'”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax: Bridget and Mary Jo’s Halloween Safety and Monster.
“‘Law and Order: Special Gardening Unit.’ Drop your compost and spread ’em!”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: Atom Age Vampire (Matthew J. Elliott and Ian Potter).
Riff & React: “So, I’m a stingy, old flattop?”
Movie: So, I’m a stingy, old flattop?
Riff & React: Mary Jo & Bride of the Gorilla
Movie: Don’t fight before dinner.
Riff & React: Matthew & Assignment: Outer Space
Movie: I have never felt so lonely.
Riff & React: Janet & Dreamscape
Movie: They’re getting progressively worse.
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Last Woman On Earth
Movie: In a couple of days the stench alone will choke us.
Golden Corral’s New Slogan Served By Dark Future
“‘What is this place? Just shut up.’ Golden Corral’s new slogan.” Golden Corral’s new slogan pulled from RiffTrax: Dark Future.
“Oh gross. The ‘last burst’ is that pimple popping website.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: Beyond Christmas.
PixTrax: “Operator, I’m wearing a thing that makes me look like Anthony Kiedis.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax Presents: Last Woman on Earth.
“Lumbering numbskulls. Unthinking. Unquestioning in their obedience. Yep, Morrissey fans every one.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Presents: Horror Express.
“Fear! My reaction to new ideas and surroundings.”
First riff from RiffTrax Presents: Fear.
“Please don’t be a Charlie Chan movie. I’m not up to riffing anything problematic.”
The first riff of RiffTrax Presents: Sherlock Holmes – Terror By Night.
Speeches & Sketches: “The Betty Columbia Speech.”
“Hi, guys. Betty Columbia here. Welcome to the show.
Sketches & Speeches: Bridget Nelson’s “Mosh Pit Etiquette Speech”
“In the event of mosh pit, the boy pushes the girl from the back by the hips into the middle of the crowd. Or the girl holds tightly to the boy’s waist as he throws punches. Mosh pit etiquette calls for certain considerations that mean more fun for everyone. A courteous boy always picks up […]
Sketches & Speeches: “The Horse Racing Sketch”
Janet: And straight out of the gate it’s Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah with a strong lead followed by Baby Got Back and Precious Moments, and Scarface, Wobble Maker, and Beep-Bop-Boo bringing up the rear.
Sketches & Speeches: “The Cumberbatch Sketch”
Mary Jo: Cumberbatch is back.
Sketches & Speeches: “The Beige Sketch”
Ian: I’ve never seen a more beige film than this?
Sketches & Speeches: “The Spaceship Cooling Down Sketch”
Mary Jo: Oh that’s right, there’s a spaceship cooling down.
PixTrax: “He’s really putting out the BTUs.”
RiffTrax Presents: Have a Mary Jo Christmas and a Bridget New Year
“Each year, countless children are taken by hobos and forced into a life of Christmas caroling. This is just one story.”
RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: Charlie’s Christmas Secret
RiffTrax Track: “Beyond Jingle Bells”
RiffTrax Presents: Beyond Christmas
“Next, pause movie, google ‘What the heck are giblets?,’ let the truth sink in, and continue with disgusted face.”
RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: Let’s Talk Turkey
“It’s mental health improv night. I need a location and a psychiatric disorder.”
RiffTrax: Sherlock Holmes and the Deadly Necklace
“He’s always bringing up his vasovagal syncope.”
RiffTrax Presents: Vacation Days
“Door Closers International. Wherever there’s a door open we are there.”
RiffTrax Presents: Atom Age Vampire
“Jack, you didn’t ‘Richard Gere’ the imp did you?”
RiffTrax: Jack the Giant Killer
“Gotta love a train service run by the Catholic church. They always pull out on time.”
RiffTrax Presents: Horror Express
“Dying is easy. Interesting Martian dramas are hard.”
RiffTrax Presents: Devil Girl From Mars
“Don’t you think it’s weird that we have to undress for social studies?”
RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: The Troublemaker
RiffTrax Tracks: “Junior Black Dog”
RiffTrax Presents: Junior Prom
“Sorry baby, I can’t hold you. I’m living a lifestyle.”
RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: American Look
“I can’t believe she’s flirting with a gastropod.”
RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: Ladybug, Ladybug, Winter Is Coming
“Hey, don’t be stingy with the Desitin.”
RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: The Babysitter
“No, they’re mixing border collie in with the organic and yard waste.”
RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: Harry the Dirty Dog
“The first time I saw this I actually wanted to be a strung out holstein.”
RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: Farm Family in Winter
“I’ll go back to the future, but I’m not touching his McFly.”
RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: My Mother Was Never A Kid
“Why won’t the kids today eat Waldorf salads?”
RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: Girls are Better Than Ever
“Get your little secret away from him.”
RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: The Boy Who Didn’t Listen
“I call this ‘Kinder Angst in Blue with Orange Mistake.'”
RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: What Mary Jo Shared
Mary Jo: “Here comes her partner. The word is they are going to attempt the double Duran Duran.” Bridget: “That’s right. In this case, a Duran Duran Duran Duran “
RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: Flash That Smile
PixTrax: “Rush hour in Barstow.”
RiffTrax: Missle to the Moon – Three Riffer Edition
PixTrax: “Abe Vigoda is Akhenaten.”
RiffTrax Presents: She
PixTrax: “The death mask of Bill Corbett.”
RiffTrax Presents: Scared to Death
PixTrax: “Though he’s probably disturbed by your giant old lady cans.”
RiffTrax: The Magic Sword
PixTrax: “Repairs to Snoop Dog’s bong continue.”
RiffTrax Presents: Warning From Space
PixTrax: “Well, I’ll bet my hair island on it.”
RiffTrax: Night of the Lepus
“Jim Backus’ crab boil restaurants never really caught on.”
RiffTrax Presents: Angels’ Revenge
“Stupid State Farm says our home owner policy doesn’t cover bikini justice.”
RiffTrax Presents: Angels’ Revenge
“I don’t think Moriarty has the décolletage to pull that off.”
RiffTrax Presents: Sherlock Holmes and the Deadly Necklace
“Tongue my girlfriend. Eat Cheetos. It’s all good.”
RiffTrax Presents: Cat-Women of the Moon
“Good idea waiting until night. I always think NASA is daft launching rockets in the day when space isn’t there yet.”
RiffTrax Presents: Flight to Mars
“Is this the ‘Karn Evil 9’ of movie songs?”
RiffTrax Presents: Rescue Me
“Erich Von Daniken’s Cocktail Shakers of the Gods.”
RiffTrax Presents: Warning From Space
“I only date provosts.”
RiffTrax Presents: Deadly Instincts
“Flowers… candles… she really gets high school boys.”
RiffTrax Presents: High School Heroes
“She just realized the Dalai Lama started putting hashtag YOLO at the end of his tweets.”
RiffTrax Presents: Scared to Death
“A picture of Walt Disney to practice kissing with.”
RiffTrax Presents:The Amazing Mr. X
“I never saw the School House Rock on mandatory minimums so I have no idea about the legality of this.”
RiffTrax Presents: Angels’ Revenge
“She’s off to an assignation with her milliner.”
RiffTrax Presents: Sherlock Holmes: Dress to Kill
“Rebooting the ovarian operating system.”
RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: Naturally a Girl
“And she was saving her coccyx for marriage.”
RiffTrax Presents: High School Heroes
“Damn! I can’t think of a single book with the name ‘Potter’ in the title.”
RiffTrax Presents: Purple Death from Outer Space (with Matthew J. Elliott and Ian Potter)
“Hey, if it takes a world war and megalomania to get a couple communicating I say well done.”
RiffTrax Presents: She Demons
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