PixTrax: “A font that says I hate your eyes.”
First riff from RiffTrax: Frankenstein Island.
Category: Horror
Speeches & Sketches: “The Four Seasons For Life Sketch”
Kevin: The Frankie Valli Institute!?! Ah crap, I was hoping for a sneak preview of The Jersey Boys film adaptation.
Sketches & Speeches: Bill Corbett’s “My Dearest Aunt Evelyn Speech”
“My dearest Aunt Evelyn… The birds overcame us at dawn today. So many succumbed to their taunts and acidic poo. There are no words proper which to describe the calamity and ruination in this war of avian aggression. Your loving nephew, Milo.” Bill Corbett’s “My Dearest Aunt Evelyn Speech” pulled RiffTrax Live: Birdemic.
Sketches & Speeches: “The Dear Diary Sketch”
Bill: Dear Diary, Mr. Clifford was worse than useless. He just sat there pretending to be dead most of the time.
Speeches & Sketches: Kevin Murphy’s “Wade William’s Go To Guy Speech”
“Ah yeah, Herbert Tevos he was Wade William’s go to guy every time he had a Lost Women project cued up. ‘Hey, where are the women lost this time, Wade?’ ‘On a mesa.’ ‘Well damn, you got to put me on this project. If you don’t have a soundtrack yet, I know this guy who […]
Sketches & Speeches: “The Zombie Attack Sketch”
Bill: Ah, just as things are looking up for her—getting rid of a douchey husband—zombie attack. Isn’t that always the way though.
Sketches & Speeches: “The Andromeda Strain/Alien Sketch”
Mike: Hey, you got your Andromeda Strain in my Alien.
Sketches & Speeches: “The White Trash Twilight Skit”
Kevin: Edward Cullen and Bella Swan’s white trash phase…
Speeches & Sketches: Mike Nelson’s “What Chekov Said Speech”
“Remember what Chekov said: ‘If you devote a good portion of Act One, talking about orange juice,
Sketches & Speeches: “The NTC Software Sketch”
Kevin: So, then I started work at NTC Software. Have I told you about NTC Software, yet?
Sketches & Speeches: “The Corporate Murder Leadership Seminars Sketch”
Bill: Evil spirit’s axe focus seems inefficient. I mean had to go a long way to retrieve that axe, right? Probably passed by dozens of other perfectly good murder-implements. I’m just saying, diversify, it could be great for your growth potential.
Sketches & Speeches: “The Beige Sketch”
Ian: I’ve never seen a more beige film than this?
Sketches & Speeches: Bill Corbett’s “So You’re a Model” Speech
“So, you’re a model, huh? We don’t get a lot of them here.
Sketches & Speeches: “The Spaceship Cooling Down Sketch”
Mary Jo: Oh that’s right, there’s a spaceship cooling down.
Sketches & Speeches: “The NTC Software Sketch”
Kevin: So, then I started work at NTC Software. Have I told you about NTC Software, yet?
Sketches & Speeches “The Swamp of Us Sketch”
Mike: Hi, we’re The Ravens. Welcome to this, the Swamp of Us. Please note we are not implying nor should you infer any ownership by us of the swamp.
Sketches & Speeches: “The Last Slumber Party Players Sketch”
Kevin: It was all a dream!
Sketches and Speeches: “The 12 Days of Jack Frost Sketch”
Mike: Three meatheads staring.
PixTrax: “Do not open reporter till Christmas.”
RiffTrax: The Dark Power
Riff & React: “I guess you’re still the boss.”
Movie: I guess you’re still the boss.
“He’s playing the home version of Broadchurch.”
RiffTrax: The Hideous Sun Demon
PixTrax: “The worst day of John Stossel’s life.”
RiffTrax: Subspecies IV: The Awakening
“Door Closers International. Wherever there’s a door open we are there.”
RiffTrax Presents: Atom Age Vampire
RiffTrax Tracks: “The Plane”
RiffTrax: Contamination
“Pepto-Bismol. Is that a good mixer?”
RiffTrax Live: Sharknado
“You borrowed some tampons, honey? Hey, I don’t make the heavy metal rules.”
RiffTrax: Rock ‘n’ Roll Nightmare
“–And then doing some kind of monster mash described by horrified onlookers as a graveyard smash.”
RiffTrax Live: Night of the Living Dead
“The very definition of horror: Jeff Foxworthy in a muumuu.”
RiffTrax: “MANOS” Hands of Fate
“You know, chicks don’t understand that sometimes a monster just needs to get his mash on.”
RiffTrax: Beast of the Yellow Night
“You know the Exorcist was pretty scary, but it could have used more routine auto maintenance.”
RiffTrax Live: Carnival of Souls
“Gotta love a train service run by the Catholic church. They always pull out on time.”
RiffTrax Presents: Horror Express
“This guy is exactly like my dentist, right down to the office monkey.”
RiffTrax: Swamp of the Ravens
“I have a doctorate in historical wang sizes .”
RiffTrax: Terror in the Wax Museum
“I sometimes forget the names of my very first cloned human beings.”
RiffTrax: Replica
“Your Spanish tendency to run ahead of castle tours is almost as bad as Hawaiians and their famous impressionability.”
RiffTrax: Bloody Pit of Horror
“Ah, so this is where they keep their stash. Hmm, Mendocino County sensimilla. Nice.”
RiffTrax: When a Stranger Calls Back
“And for the 50th billionth time, I’m not prone to hyperbole.”
RiffTrax: Fever Lake
“I sometimes forget the names of my very first cloned human beings.”
RiffTrax: Replica
“Up there on the castle’s ungroomed crotch.”
RiffTrax: Fangs of the Living Dead
“He makes Cousin Balki look like a member of Seal Team Six.”
RiffTrax: Fangs of the Living Dead
“Some men play the ponies, Marlowe blows all his money on diaphanous gowns.”
RiffTrax: Voodoo Man
PixTrax: “Thanks weird Jim Henson”
RiffTrax: Godmonster of Indian Flatts
RiffTrax Tracks: “Going to A Slumber Party”
RiffTrax: The Last Slumber Party
RiffTrax Tracks: “Carnival of Radio Stations”
RiffTrax: Carnival of Souls
RiffTrax Tracks: “The Hideous Sun Demon Round”
RiffTrax: The Hideous Sun Demon
RiffTrax Tracks: “Rockin Road Trip”
RiffTrax: Fever Lake
RiffTrax Tracks: “The Devil’s Hand Boogie”
RiffTrax: The Devil’s Hand
RiffTrax Tracks: “It’s The Sixities Now”
RiffTrax: Brainiac
RiffTrax Tracks: “Birdemic Jam”
RiffTrax Live: Birdemic: Shock and Terror
RiffTrax Tracks: “Imagine (All The Eagles)”
RiffTrax Live: Birdemic: Shock and Terror
RiffTrax Track: “Ripping Off”
RiffTrax: Rock ‘n’ Roll Nightmare
RiffTrax Track: “Hitting on Family Members”
RiffTrax Live: Birdemic: Shock and Terror
RiffTrax Tracks: “Butt-Ugly Texas”
RiffTrax Live: “Manos” the Hands of Fate
RiffTrax Tracks: “Car Ride”
RiffTrax: The Revenge of Doctor X
RiffTrax Tracks: “Real Monster”
RiffTrax: The Crater Lake Monster
“They finally did it. They weaponized dad jokes.”
RiffTrax Live: Giant Spider Invasion
PixTrax: “Henry Kissinger: Origins.”
RiffTrax: The Power
PixTrax: “Did you guys see that Kelsey Grammer got a new series.
RiffTrax: The Bermuda Triangle
PixTrax: “I’m not Martin Landau. I look like him, but I’m not.”
RiffTrax: Giant from the Unknown
PixTrax: “The death mask of Bill Corbett.”
RiffTrax Presents: Scared to Death
PixTrax: “That’s right ladies, you’re looking at the owner of an IBM personal computer.”
RiffTrax: The Last Shark
PixTrax: “Think these two have ever mashed wieners?”
RiffTrax: Brainiac
PixTrax: “Orville Redenbacher’s erotic fantasy.”
RiffTrax: Blood Theater
PixTrax: “John Hurt and Walt Disney. They’re cops.”
Rifftrax: Hillbillys in a Haunted House
PixTrax: “Look! The YouTube commenter hall of fame.”
Rifftrax: The Hideous Sun Demon
PixTrax: “Look at all the controls. How do they keep track of everything?”
RiffTrax: Plan Nine From Outer Space
PixTrax: “Very similar scene to Rum Tum Tugger’s second DUI.”
RiffTrax: Uninvited
PixTrax: “Well, I’ll bet my hair island on it.”
RiffTrax: Night of the Lepus
PixTrax: “We join this Joni Mitchell album cover already in progress.”
RiffTrax: Kiss of the Tarantula
“Sounds like the Phantom of the Opera got into the store brand Nyquil again.”
RiffTrax: Fangs of the Living Dead
“Dressing like a Starksy and Hutch extra finally broke him.”
RiffTrax: The Dark
“Of all the fake weather I’ve reported in fake TV movies this is the fakiest.”
RiffTrax Live: Sharknado 2
Discount ‘Scanners’ there turned my wang inside out, but otherwise I’m good.”
RiffTrax: Psychotronic Man
“We have a special suite for guys who look like Kyle MacLachlan.”
RiffTrax: Zombie: I Eat Your Skin
“I think I ought re-enactionize the Civil Warration.”
RiffTrax: Hillbillys in a Haunted House
“1961, the year Don Draper lands The Spanish Inquisition account.”
RiffTrax: Brainiac
“Oh, I’m covered in John Huston poop.”
RiffTrax: The Bermuda Triangle
“This is just like that scene when Air Bud attacked that guy with Lou Gehrig’s Disease.”
RiffTrax: Day of the Animal
“In fact, I took a note about how he wasn’t taking notes. It’s in my notes.”
Rifftrax: The Astro-Zombies
“I only date provosts.”
RiffTrax Presents: Deadly Instincts
“Wow, I guess that sectional sofa dry-hump was better than it looked.”
RiffTrax: Replica
“They seem to be exploring a Brian Eno deep cut.”
RiffTrax: Bermuda Triangle
“How many cigarettes does a guy got to smoke to get some lettuce around here?”
RiffTrax: Psycho II
“But I made a kick-ass Dinah Shore road trip mixtape.”
RiffTrax: City of the Dead
“Well, moral of the story is always save your chimp receipts.”
RiffTrax: The Incredible 2-Headed Transplant
“That’s the most awkwardly placed wall anus I’ve ever seen.”
RiffTrax: Psycho II
“She just realized the Dalai Lama started putting hashtag YOLO at the end of his tweets.”
RiffTrax Presents: Scared to Death
“Do some curls, brah. It’s always time for tonin’.”
RiffTrax: Retro Puppet Master
“A picture of Walt Disney to practice kissing with.”
RiffTrax Presents:The Amazing Mr. X
“Not many men are secure enough to hang their colonoscopy on the wall.”
Rifftrax: Grizzly
“Uh-oh. The Rats just bought a subwoofer.”
RiffTrax: Rats: Night of Terror
“Is it too late to be the mom on Family Ties?”
RiffTrax: Mutant
“Little Miss Muffet is out for revenge in the Tuffetening.”
RiffTrax: Kiss of the Tarantula
“Do you even trickle down, bro?”
RiffTrax: Uninvited
“Souvenirs of Distinction. Looking for a plastic back scratcher with a sophisticated air? Try Souvenirs of Distinction.”
RiffTrax: Giant From The Unknown
Keep Rolling! 
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