Sketches & Speeches: “The Dear Diary Sketch”

Bill: Dear Diary, Mr. Clifford was worse than useless. He just sat there pretending to be dead most of the time. But I knew he was faking because I could see his wattles jiggling and also because he talked some. Assuming that’s what those sounds were. I didn’t really listen.
Kevin: Also Diary, I hate my apartment. This big dumb light switch has never worked right. I always have to walk over to the lamp to turn it off.
Bill: Also also Diary, today at the shelter Vicky told everyone I have a crush on Caden, but I totally don’t even. As if! Maybe Vicky would be interested to know that I have a gun now. And can so make her pay. I can make them all pay.

“The Dear Diary Sketch” pulled from RiffTrax: When a Stranger Calls Back.

One thought on “Sketches & Speeches: “The Dear Diary Sketch”

  1. Dear Diary, you’re not telling anyone my secrets are you? Remember, we have a fireplace that needs some extra “kindling” to really get going

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