Kevin: Edward Cullen and Bella Swan’s white trash phase…
Bill: Eddie, when the hell you’re gonna change me into one of them vampires.
Mike: I told ya, I’d do it after I fix the truck, baby. Now, get off my damn back.
Bill: I’m gonna tell them Volturi on you. I mean, I’d at least my vampire powers to get that broken washing machine off our lawn.
Mike: Why don’t you get some damn werewolf to do that for you? Oh yeah, I will go there if you don’t shut up and get back to drinking—
Bill: —That is not cool.
Mike: I love you, you crazy mortal bitch!
Bill: I love you too, man!
Kevin: The White Trash Twilight Skit, ladies and gentlemen.
“The White Trash Twilight Skit” pulled from RiffTrax Live: “Manos” the Hands of Fate.