Sketches & Speeches: “The Titular Buffalo Rider Sketch”

Mike: He rides a buffalo mind you, but he’s not the titular buffalo rider. Gonna be awhile until we get to him.
Bill: Ah, come on!
Mike: We apologize for any inconvenience, but in the meantime, please enjoy this shot of a man sitting on a buffalo.
Bill: So, this isn’t even Buffalo Jones, a buffalo rider?’
Mike: It is not. We don’t see him deep until act two.
Kevin: Okay, so this is the third guy and a buffalo who’s neither the ‘Buffalo Rider’ nor ‘Buffalo Jones?’
Mike: That is correct.
Kevin: So, far we’ve seen a buffalo hunter, a guy sitting on a buffalo, and you’ve only mentioned someone named Buffalo Jones, but he’s not THE Buffalo Rider?
Mike: You have assessed the situation accurately. May I offer you a buffalo tongue?
Bill: What? No! We want a buffalo rider. Like you promised. Come on.
Mike: [Eating] Mmm. Oh boy. Mmm. You don’t know what you’re missing with this here buffalo tongue—[choking]ah, went down the wrong pipe. Oh god! Help me!
Bill: Narrator? Kevin, give him the Heimlich.
Kevin: Too late, he’s dead.
Mike: [In different voice] —Heh heh heh. My time has come!
Kevin: Part time narrator?
Mike: Not anymore. I’m the narrator now. I’m the narrator!
Bill: Look! Look! He just rode the buffalo.
Mike: It’s not the Buffalo Rider, got it?
Bill: Dammit!
Mike: We’ll play by my rules now.

“The Titular Buffalo Rider Sketch” pulled from RiffTrax: Buffalo Rider.


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