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…Because some Riffs have it coming!

Category: RiffTrax Live

Written by RifftraxMay 18, 2022March 20, 2022

TBD

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Soapy The Germ Fighter (Live Edition).

Written by RifftraxMarch 27, 2022February 27, 2022

“A Plymouth Reliant shot through a chain link fence? Dial back the visual splendor please!”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Time Chasers.

Written by RifftraxMarch 26, 2022February 25, 2022

“Yes, the things you use to pick up dog poo is now a major motion picture.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: SUMMER SHORTS BEACH PARTY.

Written by RifftraxMarch 25, 2022February 25, 2022

“Hey, I’m a reptile. Anyone know why I have breasts?”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Star Raiders.

Written by RifftraxMarch 24, 2022February 23, 2022

PixTrax: “‘Give me the Gabe Kaplan,’ she told her hairdresser.”

PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax Live: Space Mutiny.

Written by RifftraxMarch 23, 2022February 26, 2022

“Airport Taco Bell was a terrible idea.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Sharknado 2.

Written by RifftraxMarch 22, 2022March 4, 2022

“You are a bikini bar waitress. Show some dignity!”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Sharknado.

Written by RifftraxMarch 21, 2022February 23, 2022

Riff & React: Kevin & RiffTrax Live: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians

Movie: I never saw such lazy people.

Written by RifftraxMarch 20, 2022March 21, 2022

“Boy, this cartas fellow sure gets a lot of mail.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Santa Claus.

Written by RifftraxMarch 18, 2022February 23, 2022

Riff & React: Kevin & RiffTrax Live: Samurai Cop

Movie: Feel like somebody stuck a big club up my ass and it hurts.

Written by RifftraxMarch 17, 2022February 23, 2022

“Or my name isn’t the Dad from Alf.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Reefer Madness.

Written by RifftraxMarch 16, 2022February 21, 2022

“Attention aliens, will you leave if we give you Shirley MacLaine?”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Plan 9 From Outer Space.

Written by RifftraxMarch 15, 2022February 21, 2022

PixTrax: “Hey, it’s the director.”

PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax Live: Octaman.

Written by RifftraxMarch 14, 2022February 21, 2022

Sketches & Speeches: The “Zombies Reminiscing” Sketch

Bill: Meanwhile the zombies are out there drinking PBR and reminiscing

Written by RifftraxMarch 13, 2022February 21, 2022

“Finally, a movie about clown thermometers. Thank you.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: MST3K Reunion.

Written by RifftraxMarch 12, 2022February 21, 2022

Sketches & Speeches: The “Dragon Sound and Friendship For Life” Sketch.

Kevin: Well, that’s it. I’m burning all my Beatles albums. Dragon Sound and friendship for life. Yeah!

Written by RifftraxMarch 11, 2022February 21, 2022

Riff & React: Kevin & RiffTrax Live: Jack the Giant Killer

Movie: We have plans to make. The dawn comes much too soon.

Written by RifftraxMarch 10, 2022February 21, 2022

PixTrax: “Chester A. Arthur ladies and gentlemen.”

PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax Live: House on Haunted Hill.

Written by RifftraxMarch 9, 2022February 21, 2022

RiffTrax Tracks: “Fish Licker”

“Fish Licker” pulled from RiffTrax Live: Hobgoblins.

Written by RifftraxMarch 8, 2022February 21, 2022

“The Satellite Report just says, ‘Satellite’ by Dave Matthews is a terrible song.”

Rock ‘n’ Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Giant Spider Invasion.

Written by RifftraxMarch 7, 2022February 21, 2022

“Oh boy, I shouldn’t have licked that toad.”

RiffTrax Live: Christmas Shorts-stravaganza!

Written by RifftraxMarch 6, 2022February 21, 2022

“Organ playing is like cooking Russian food. I’m not sure how to tell if you’re great or terrible at it.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Carnival of Souls.

Written by RifftraxMarch 5, 2022February 21, 2022

“Ramsey’s van is usually idling within binocular distance of a Curves franchise.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Birdemic.

Written by RifftraxMarch 4, 2022March 4, 2022

Sketches & Speeches: The “Castlefield” Sketch

Mike: Castleton college?

Written by RifftraxMarch 3, 2022February 21, 2022

“Think Manos ever hangs out with Xenu at a bar for crappy deities?”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: “Manos” the Hands of Fate.

Written by RifftraxJanuary 23, 2022January 22, 2022

“We need the movie in our monitors.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Play Safe (Live Edition).

Written by RifftraxDecember 25, 2021February 6, 2022

“Five budget items? I have twice that many bills in mail order meat club subscriptions alone.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Night of the Shorts: SF Sketchfest 2016.

Written by RifftraxDecember 23, 2021December 22, 2021

“Kindergarten: over ninety-percent ‘storage problem solving!'”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Night of the Shorts – SF Sketchfest 2015.

Written by RifftraxDecember 22, 2021December 21, 2021

“Why not? You’re five. It’s time to know your flour sifters!”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Night of the Shorts – SF Sketchfest 2013.

Written by RifftraxDecember 21, 2021December 20, 2021

“A pork pie hat and an ammo belt. There’s my new look gentlemen.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Night of the Living Dead (Three Riffer Edition).

Written by RifftraxJune 1, 2021May 31, 2021

“Sad people soullessly stamping out product. This is how I picture Marvel films.”

Riff pulled from Day of the Shorts: SF Sketchfest 2019.

Written by RifftraxFebruary 23, 2021February 22, 2021

“Line your garbage with other garbage to create future garbage. It’s the circle of trash.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts Live!: At Your Fingertips: Sugar and Spice.

Written by RifftraxDecember 29, 2020December 28, 2020

“Hey, it’s kitchen Fonzi on HGTV.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: MST3K Reunion.

Written by RifftraxNovember 16, 2020November 16, 2020

Sketches & Speeches: The “Rod From Birdemic” Sketch

Kevin: This feels like Rod Sterling should step out and do a monologue.

Written by RifftraxOctober 1, 2020October 1, 2020

“Ladies and gentlemen, The Beatles: John, Paul, George, and Summlaxadork.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Starship Troopers.

Written by RifftraxAugust 21, 2020August 4, 2020

“Golden Corral’s New Slogan” Served By Carnival of Souls.

Movie: It was unsanitary but delicious.

Written by RifftraxJuly 30, 2020July 23, 2020

Sketches & Speeches: “The Army of Ziggys Sketch”

Bill: Man, I just realized he’s making an army of Ziggys.

Written by RifftraxJuly 28, 2020July 26, 2020

“Man, it’s tough to play the mandolin when your fingers are covered in hogs blood and bacon grease.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: X-mas Shorts-stravaganza!

Written by RifftraxJuly 27, 2020July 22, 2020

PixTrax: “Welcome back to the secret lives of rural Liberace impersonators.”

PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax Live: Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny.

Written by RifftraxJuly 26, 2020July 26, 2020

“Hauled away, humiliated and wet, like every time I visit Applebee’s.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.

Written by RifftraxJuly 19, 2020July 17, 2020

“Okay lady, play God all you want but leave the Ed Grimley dancing out of it.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.

Written by RifftraxJuly 14, 2020July 11, 2020

“Oh, when I get bored I mutilate phallic objects.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Christmas Shorts-stravaganza!

Written by RifftraxJuly 7, 2020June 30, 2020

“Oh, when I get bored I mutilate phallic objects.”

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Christmas Shorts-stravaganza!

Written by RifftraxJuly 4, 2020July 1, 2020

PixTrax: “Ladies and gentlemen, the White Stripes babies.”

PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax Live: Santa Claus.

Written by RifftraxMay 17, 2020May 16, 2020

“A text from General Akbar. It says: ‘It’s a tra’–I’ll finish it later. “

Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Jack the Giant Killer.

Written by RifftraxJanuary 30, 2020November 23, 2019

Sketches & Speeches: Bill Corbett’s “My Dearest Aunt Evelyn Speech”

“My dearest Aunt Evelyn… The birds overcame us at dawn today. So many succumbed to their taunts and acidic poo. There are no words proper which to describe the calamity and ruination in this war of avian aggression. Your loving nephew, Milo.” Bill Corbett’s “My Dearest Aunt Evelyn Speech” pulled RiffTrax Live: Birdemic.    

Written by RifftraxJanuary 22, 2020December 2, 2019

Sketches & Speeches: “The Scold the Milk Sketch”

Mike: You have greatly disappointed me, milk.

Written by RifftraxJanuary 17, 2020December 2, 2019

Sketches & Speeches: “The White Trash Twilight Skit”

Kevin: Edward Cullen and Bella Swan’s white trash phase…

Written by RifftraxDecember 26, 2019December 26, 2019

RiffList: “Dave Ryder Nicknames”

Lump Drywall

Written by RifftraxDecember 22, 2019November 29, 2019

Sketches & Speeches: “The Adorable Tots Steel Cage Death Match Sketch”

Bill: It’s Lupita versus Cindy Lou Who and Zuzu Bailey in a steel cage death match. Three adorable tots enter. Only one will survive!

Written by RifftraxDecember 12, 2019November 10, 2019

“Santa, can this common beach gorilla help?”

RiffTrax Live: Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny

Written by RifftraxDecember 1, 2019November 29, 2019

Sketches & Speeches: “The Christmas Nostalgia Sketch”

Bill: Yeah, gotta admit guys all this tender Christmas nostalgia is kinda getting to me.

Written by RifftraxNovember 10, 2019November 5, 2019

“Pepto-Bismol. Is that a good mixer?”

RiffTrax Live: Sharknado

Written by RifftraxOctober 31, 2019August 24, 2019

“–And then doing some kind of monster mash described by horrified onlookers as a graveyard smash.”

RiffTrax Live: Night of the Living Dead

Written by RifftraxOctober 28, 2019August 24, 2019

“You know the Exorcist was pretty scary, but it could have used more routine auto maintenance.”

RiffTrax Live: Carnival of Souls

Written by RifftraxOctober 11, 2019October 11, 2019

“Your hair is even hockey-er than I remember.”

RiffTrax Live: Time Chasers

Written by RifftraxOctober 4, 2019August 15, 2019

“Rutherford B. Hayes gets a lap dance.”

RiffTrax Live: Space Mutiny

Written by RifftraxSeptember 30, 2019August 21, 2019

Rifftrax Tracks: “Jack The Giant Killer: The Musical”

RiffTrax Live: Jack the Giant Killer

Written by RifftraxSeptember 23, 2019September 10, 2019

RiffTrax Tracks: “Join The Marching Band Too”

RiffTrax Live: Summer Shorts Beach Party

Written by RifftraxSeptember 15, 2019August 11, 2019

RiffTrax Tracks: “Birdemic Jam”

RiffTrax Live: Birdemic: Shock and Terror

Written by RifftraxSeptember 13, 2019August 11, 2019

RiffTrax Tracks: “Imagine (All The Eagles)”

RiffTrax Live: Birdemic: Shock and Terror

Written by RifftraxSeptember 11, 2019August 11, 2019

RiffTrax Track: “Hitting on Family Members”

RiffTrax Live: Birdemic: Shock and Terror

Written by RifftraxSeptember 10, 2019August 7, 2019

RiffTrax Tracks: “Butt-Ugly Texas”

RiffTrax Live: “Manos” the Hands of Fate

Written by RifftraxAugust 19, 2019August 19, 2019

“‘Soapy The Germ Fighter,’ worst X-Men ever.”

RiffTrax Shorts: Soapy The Germ Fighter (Live Edition)  

Written by RifftraxAugust 16, 2019August 17, 2019

“They finally did it. They weaponized dad jokes.”

RiffTrax Live: Giant Spider Invasion

Written by RifftraxAugust 16, 2019August 17, 2019

“Mama needs her Samoas.”

RiffTrax Shorts: At Your Fingertips: Floats (Live Edition)

Written by RifftraxJuly 3, 2019July 10, 2019

PixTrax: “It’s that time of the year when the Midwest really shows itself off.’

RiffTrax Live: SUMMER SHORTS BEACH PARTY

Written by RifftraxJune 26, 2019June 18, 2019

“Of all the fake weather I’ve reported in fake TV movies this is the fakiest.”

RiffTrax Live: Sharknado 2

Written by RifftraxJune 25, 2019June 18, 2019

“And now motorcycle cocaine ninjas take communion.”

RiffTrax Live: Miami Connection

Written by RifftraxJune 11, 2019June 7, 2019

“Out of the way. We’re henchmen. We have important henching to do.”

RiffTrax Live: Time Chasers

Written by RifftraxJune 11, 2019June 11, 2019

“Yes, could you please say ‘skin of the plane’ one thousand percent less.”

RiffTrax Live: Time Chasers

Written by RifftraxJune 7, 2019June 6, 2019

“Chub. Chub. Chub.”

RiffTrax Shorts: Values: Telling The Truth (Live)

Written by RifftraxJune 7, 2019June 6, 2019

“Damn, it’s already planet o’clock.”

RiffTrax Live: Star Raiders

Written by RifftraxMay 28, 2019August 7, 2019

“Okay, by show of hands who was expecting to see a bag give birth tonight?”

RiffTrax Live: Summer Shorts Beach Party!

Written by RifftraxMay 19, 2019June 7, 2019

“Do you even trickle down, bro?”

RiffTrax: Uninvited

Written by RifftraxMay 16, 2019June 7, 2019

“Oh, here’s your problem. The whole transmission is clogged with souls.”

RiffTrax Live: Carnival of Souls

Written by RifftraxMay 10, 2019June 7, 2019

“You know, good dirty talk rarely involves the word ‘trouser.'”

RiffTrax Live: Space Mutiny

Written by RifftraxMay 1, 2019June 7, 2019

“Hey! The Damned went by Party City on their way to hell.”

RiffTrax Live: Carnival of Souls

Written by RifftraxApril 29, 2019June 7, 2019

“They’re trying to vaporize us, but no worries man, it’s chill.”

RiffTrax Live: Space Mutiny

Written by RifftraxApril 19, 2019June 7, 2019

“There’s gotta be something in here that makes the eighties bearable.”

RiffTrax Live: McGruff

Written by RifftraxApril 18, 2019June 7, 2019

“Meanwhile, Jesus carries a bucket.”

RiffTrax Live: Octaman

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