“The human is my lunch, Brad.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: The Return of Swamp Thing.
Category: RiffTrax Live
“No, it was the constant scarecrow cosplay that worried them.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Soapy The Germ Fighter (Live Edition).
“A Plymouth Reliant shot through a chain link fence? Dial back the visual splendor please!”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Time Chasers.
“Yes, the things you use to pick up dog poo is now a major motion picture.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: SUMMER SHORTS BEACH PARTY.
“Hey, I’m a reptile. Anyone know why I have breasts?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Star Raiders.
PixTrax: “‘Give me the Gabe Kaplan,’ she told her hairdresser.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax Live: Space Mutiny.
“Airport Taco Bell was a terrible idea.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Sharknado 2.
“You are a bikini bar waitress. Show some dignity!”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Sharknado.
Riff & React: Kevin & RiffTrax Live: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
Movie: I never saw such lazy people.
“Boy, this cartas fellow sure gets a lot of mail.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Santa Claus.
Riff & React: Kevin & RiffTrax Live: Samurai Cop
Movie: Feel like somebody stuck a big club up my ass and it hurts.
“Or my name isn’t the Dad from Alf.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Reefer Madness.
“Attention aliens, will you leave if we give you Shirley MacLaine?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Plan 9 From Outer Space.
PixTrax: “Hey, it’s the director.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax Live: Octaman.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Zombies Reminiscing” Sketch
Bill: Meanwhile the zombies are out there drinking PBR and reminiscing
“Finally, a movie about clown thermometers. Thank you.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: MST3K Reunion.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Dragon Sound and Friendship For Life” Sketch.
Kevin: Well, that’s it. I’m burning all my Beatles albums. Dragon Sound and friendship for life. Yeah!
Riff & React: Kevin & RiffTrax Live: Jack the Giant Killer
Movie: We have plans to make. The dawn comes much too soon.
PixTrax: “Chester A. Arthur ladies and gentlemen.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax Live: House on Haunted Hill.
RiffTrax Tracks: “Fish Licker”
“Fish Licker” pulled from RiffTrax Live: Hobgoblins.
“The Satellite Report just says, ‘Satellite’ by Dave Matthews is a terrible song.”
Rock ‘n’ Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Giant Spider Invasion.
“Oh boy, I shouldn’t have licked that toad.”
RiffTrax Live: Christmas Shorts-stravaganza!
“Organ playing is like cooking Russian food. I’m not sure how to tell if you’re great or terrible at it.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Carnival of Souls.
“Ramsey’s van is usually idling within binocular distance of a Curves franchise.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Birdemic.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Castlefield” Sketch
Mike: Castleton college?
“Think Manos ever hangs out with Xenu at a bar for crappy deities?”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: “Manos” the Hands of Fate.
“We need the movie in our monitors.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts: Play Safe (Live Edition).
“Five budget items? I have twice that many bills in mail order meat club subscriptions alone.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Night of the Shorts: SF Sketchfest 2016.
“Kindergarten: over ninety-percent ‘storage problem solving!'”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Night of the Shorts – SF Sketchfest 2015.
“Why not? You’re five. It’s time to know your flour sifters!”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Night of the Shorts – SF Sketchfest 2013.
“A pork pie hat and an ammo belt. There’s my new look gentlemen.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax: Night of the Living Dead (Three Riffer Edition).
“Sad people soullessly stamping out product. This is how I picture Marvel films.”
Riff pulled from Day of the Shorts: SF Sketchfest 2019.
“Line your garbage with other garbage to create future garbage. It’s the circle of trash.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Shorts Live!: At Your Fingertips: Sugar and Spice.
“Hey, it’s kitchen Fonzi on HGTV.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: MST3K Reunion.
Sketches & Speeches: The “Rod From Birdemic” Sketch
Kevin: This feels like Rod Sterling should step out and do a monologue.
“Ladies and gentlemen, The Beatles: John, Paul, George, and Summlaxadork.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Starship Troopers.
“Golden Corral’s New Slogan” Served By Carnival of Souls.
Movie: It was unsanitary but delicious.
Sketches & Speeches: “The Army of Ziggys Sketch”
Bill: Man, I just realized he’s making an army of Ziggys.
“Man, it’s tough to play the mandolin when your fingers are covered in hogs blood and bacon grease.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: X-mas Shorts-stravaganza!
PixTrax: “Welcome back to the secret lives of rural Liberace impersonators.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax Live: Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny.
“Hauled away, humiliated and wet, like every time I visit Applebee’s.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.
“Okay lady, play God all you want but leave the Ed Grimley dancing out of it.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.
“Oh, when I get bored I mutilate phallic objects.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Christmas Shorts-stravaganza!
“Oh, when I get bored I mutilate phallic objects.”
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Christmas Shorts-stravaganza!
PixTrax: “Ladies and gentlemen, the White Stripes babies.”
PixTrax pulled from RiffTrax Live: Santa Claus.
“A text from General Akbar. It says: ‘It’s a tra’–I’ll finish it later. “
Riff pulled from RiffTrax Live: Jack the Giant Killer.
Sketches & Speeches: Bill Corbett’s “My Dearest Aunt Evelyn Speech”
“My dearest Aunt Evelyn… The birds overcame us at dawn today. So many succumbed to their taunts and acidic poo. There are no words proper which to describe the calamity and ruination in this war of avian aggression. Your loving nephew, Milo.” Bill Corbett’s “My Dearest Aunt Evelyn Speech” pulled RiffTrax Live: Birdemic.
Sketches & Speeches: “The Scold the Milk Sketch”
Mike: You have greatly disappointed me, milk.
Sketches & Speeches: “The White Trash Twilight Skit”
Kevin: Edward Cullen and Bella Swan’s white trash phase…
RiffList: “Dave Ryder Nicknames”
Lump Drywall
Sketches & Speeches: “The Adorable Tots Steel Cage Death Match Sketch”
Bill: It’s Lupita versus Cindy Lou Who and Zuzu Bailey in a steel cage death match. Three adorable tots enter. Only one will survive!
“Santa, can this common beach gorilla help?”
RiffTrax Live: Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny
Sketches & Speeches: “The Christmas Nostalgia Sketch”
Bill: Yeah, gotta admit guys all this tender Christmas nostalgia is kinda getting to me.
“Pepto-Bismol. Is that a good mixer?”
RiffTrax Live: Sharknado
“–And then doing some kind of monster mash described by horrified onlookers as a graveyard smash.”
RiffTrax Live: Night of the Living Dead
“You know the Exorcist was pretty scary, but it could have used more routine auto maintenance.”
RiffTrax Live: Carnival of Souls
“Your hair is even hockey-er than I remember.”
RiffTrax Live: Time Chasers
“Rutherford B. Hayes gets a lap dance.”
RiffTrax Live: Space Mutiny
Rifftrax Tracks: “Jack The Giant Killer: The Musical”
RiffTrax Live: Jack the Giant Killer
RiffTrax Tracks: “Join The Marching Band Too”
RiffTrax Live: Summer Shorts Beach Party
RiffTrax Tracks: “Birdemic Jam”
RiffTrax Live: Birdemic: Shock and Terror
RiffTrax Tracks: “Imagine (All The Eagles)”
RiffTrax Live: Birdemic: Shock and Terror
RiffTrax Track: “Hitting on Family Members”
RiffTrax Live: Birdemic: Shock and Terror
RiffTrax Tracks: “Butt-Ugly Texas”
RiffTrax Live: “Manos” the Hands of Fate
“‘Soapy The Germ Fighter,’ worst X-Men ever.”
RiffTrax Shorts: Soapy The Germ Fighter (Live Edition)
“They finally did it. They weaponized dad jokes.”
RiffTrax Live: Giant Spider Invasion
“Mama needs her Samoas.”
RiffTrax Shorts: At Your Fingertips: Floats (Live Edition)
PixTrax: “It’s that time of the year when the Midwest really shows itself off.’
RiffTrax Live: SUMMER SHORTS BEACH PARTY
“Of all the fake weather I’ve reported in fake TV movies this is the fakiest.”
RiffTrax Live: Sharknado 2
“And now motorcycle cocaine ninjas take communion.”
RiffTrax Live: Miami Connection
“Out of the way. We’re henchmen. We have important henching to do.”
RiffTrax Live: Time Chasers
“Yes, could you please say ‘skin of the plane’ one thousand percent less.”
RiffTrax Live: Time Chasers
“Chub. Chub. Chub.”
RiffTrax Shorts: Values: Telling The Truth (Live)
“Damn, it’s already planet o’clock.”
RiffTrax Live: Star Raiders
“Okay, by show of hands who was expecting to see a bag give birth tonight?”
RiffTrax Live: Summer Shorts Beach Party!
“Do you even trickle down, bro?”
RiffTrax: Uninvited
“Oh, here’s your problem. The whole transmission is clogged with souls.”
RiffTrax Live: Carnival of Souls
“You know, good dirty talk rarely involves the word ‘trouser.'”
RiffTrax Live: Space Mutiny
“Hey! The Damned went by Party City on their way to hell.”
RiffTrax Live: Carnival of Souls
“They’re trying to vaporize us, but no worries man, it’s chill.”
RiffTrax Live: Space Mutiny
“There’s gotta be something in here that makes the eighties bearable.”
RiffTrax Live: McGruff
“Meanwhile, Jesus carries a bucket.”
RiffTrax Live: Octaman
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