Sketches & Speeches: “The Dear Diary Sketch”
Bill: Dear Diary, Mr. Clifford was worse than useless. He just sat there pretending to be dead most of the time.
Category: Sketches & Speeches
Sketches & Speeches: “The What’s Crack? Sketch”
Bill: What’s a crack? Is it a baby?
Sketches & Speeches: “Fred Stanford’s Truck Sketch”
Bill: They blew up Fred Stanford’s truck.
Speeches & Sketches: Kevin Murphy’s “Wade William’s Go To Guy Speech”
“Ah yeah, Herbert Tevos he was Wade William’s go to guy every time he had a Lost Women project cued up. ‘Hey, where are the women lost this time, Wade?’ ‘On a mesa.’ ‘Well damn, you got to put me on this project. If you don’t have a soundtrack yet, I know this guy who […]
Sketches & Speeches: Mike Nelson’s “I Must Toil Speech”
“Sure sounds like some other kids are having fun outside,
Sketches & Speeches: “The Bruce Springsteen’s Trailer Sketch”
Bill: Bruce Springsteen lives in a construction trailer?
Sketches & Speeches: “The Scold the Milk Sketch”
Mike: You have greatly disappointed me, milk.
Sketches & Speeches: Bridget Nelson’s “Mosh Pit Etiquette Speech”
“In the event of mosh pit, the boy pushes the girl from the back by the hips into the middle of the crowd. Or the girl holds tightly to the boy’s waist as he throws punches. Mosh pit etiquette calls for certain considerations that mean more fun for everyone. A courteous boy always picks up […]
Sketches & Speeches: “The Zombie Attack Sketch”
Bill: Ah, just as things are looking up for her—getting rid of a douchey husband—zombie attack. Isn’t that always the way though.
Sketches & Speeches: “The Ed McMahon Serious Threat Sketch”
Bill: These aliens move like barges. They’re too slow to be a serious threat.
Sketches & Speeches: “The Andromeda Strain/Alien Sketch”
Mike: Hey, you got your Andromeda Strain in my Alien.
Sketches & Speeches: “The White Trash Twilight Skit”
Kevin: Edward Cullen and Bella Swan’s white trash phase…
Sketches & Speeches: “The Titular Buffalo Rider Sketch”
Mike: He rides a buffalo mind you, but he’s not the titular buffalo rider. Gonna be awhile until we get to him. Bill: Ah, come on! Mike: We apologize for any inconvenience, but in the meantime, please enjoy this shot of a man sitting on a buffalo. Bill: So, this isn’t even Buffalo Jones, a […]
Speeches & Sketches: Mike Nelson’s “What Chekov Said Speech”
“Remember what Chekov said: ‘If you devote a good portion of Act One, talking about orange juice,
Sketches & Speeches: “The Missal to the Moon Sketch”
Bill: So, um, they’re referring to a rocket, right, and not ‘missal’ as in the Catholic prayer book?
Sketches & Speeches: “The NTC Software Sketch”
Kevin: So, then I started work at NTC Software. Have I told you about NTC Software, yet?
Sketches & Speeches: “The Horse Racing Sketch”
Janet: And straight out of the gate it’s Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah with a strong lead followed by Baby Got Back and Precious Moments, and Scarface, Wobble Maker, and Beep-Bop-Boo bringing up the rear.
Sketches & Speeches: “The Mr. Fujiyama’s Lawn Sketch”
Mike: It appears the real criminal here is whoever is charging Mr. Fujiyama for lawn care and landscaping.
Sketches & Speeches: “The Cumberbatch Sketch”
Mary Jo: Cumberbatch is back.
Sketches & Speeches: “The Corporate Murder Leadership Seminars Sketch”
Bill: Evil spirit’s axe focus seems inefficient. I mean had to go a long way to retrieve that axe, right? Probably passed by dozens of other perfectly good murder-implements. I’m just saying, diversify, it could be great for your growth potential.
Sketches & Speeches: “The Beige Sketch”
Ian: I’ve never seen a more beige film than this?
Sketches & Speeches: “The Buy You A Hamburger Sketch”
Kevin: Hey Mike, I’ll buy you a hamburger.
Sketches & Speeches: Bill Corbett’s “So You’re a Model” Speech
“So, you’re a model, huh? We don’t get a lot of them here.
Sketches & Speeches: “My Favorite Yambaó Sketch”
Mike: Ninón Sevilla is my favorite Yambaó.
Sketches & Speeches: “The Spaceship Cooling Down Sketch”
Mary Jo: Oh that’s right, there’s a spaceship cooling down.
Sketches & Speeches: “The NTC Software Sketch”
Kevin: So, then I started work at NTC Software. Have I told you about NTC Software, yet?
Sketches & Speeches: Bill Corbett’s “How Do I Know This You Ask Speech”
“How do I know this you ask? I’m in a bowling league with Starman.
Sketches & Speeches “The Swamp of Us Sketch”
Mike: Hi, we’re The Ravens. Welcome to this, the Swamp of Us. Please note we are not implying nor should you infer any ownership by us of the swamp.
Sketches & Speeches: “The Chinese New Year Sketch”
Mike: It’s their year of the cock celebration.
Sketches & Speeches: “The We Are Destroying Sketch”
Movie: Destroy! Destroy them!
Sketches & Speeches: “The Last Slumber Party Players Sketch”
Kevin: It was all a dream!
Sketches & Speeches: “The Adorable Tots Steel Cage Death Match Sketch”
Bill: It’s Lupita versus Cindy Lou Who and Zuzu Bailey in a steel cage death match. Three adorable tots enter. Only one will survive!
Sketches & Speeches: “The Guy from Simply Red Speech”
Kevin: On the right there, is that the guy from Simply Red?
Sketches & Speeches: Kevin Murphy’s “Third Runner-Up” Speech
“And now, the third runner-up in our Christmas diorama contest this year.
Sketches and Speeches: “The 12 Days of Jack Frost Sketch”
Mike: Three meatheads staring.
Sketches & Speeches: “The Christmas Nostalgia Sketch”
Bill: Yeah, gotta admit guys all this tender Christmas nostalgia is kinda getting to me.
Sketches & Speeches: “The Thanksgiving Carols Sketch”
Kevin: Ah, Thanksgiving carols. I remember going door-to-door singing carols in exchange for turkey.
Mary Jo: “Here comes her partner. The word is they are going to attempt the double Duran Duran.” Bridget: “That’s right. In this case, a Duran Duran Duran Duran “
RiffTrax Presents: RiffTrax Shorts: Flash That Smile
Sketches & Speeches: The “They Call me ‘The Projector'” Sketch
Mike: They call me ‘The Projector.’
Keep Rolling! 
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